the world i know

PUNISHMENT

2011-10-02T04:17:00.000-05:00

For us who grew up in the west, a deep understanding of sinful activities and its reactions were never quite well explained. God hates sin, we were told, and one who sins goes to eternal damnation, never to be reinstated by divine grace- except if you accept such and such person and such and such path. This is the only way. So a person became hard-hearted very quickly and either (a), rejected the idea of someone so unforgiving, and usually for the silliest of crimes, as in the case of a kid like Aladdin who “gotta steal to live, tell you all about it when he's got the time”,or (b) became so afraid of the notion of eternal suffering that they took to religion like stink on funk; fanatically rejecting their own kinsmen if such people behaved contradictory to the laws of God.

Yes, I was in category (a), but couldn't reject God completely; funny enough, after studying his very creation, and the nature of beings. How long can you really be angry at someone? How deep was your relationship with that person anyway? So if I could eventually forgive and forget even the worst of crimes, and God couldn't then, forgive me this sin, I have a quality that God doesn't have... .

I can forgive! Regardless of the persons nationality, religious affiliation, etc etc. So then God isn't a big deal. And no need to worry about that person we so much dread. If I can forgive and God can't, or if I have a form, even though illusory as some may claim, and God is formless, or if I, by my own will can have as many children as I want, but God, that oh so great being, can only beget one, and sorry to say, we deserve eternal hell because we killed him; (well not me, but so distant relative 2000 some odd years ago), then again, I one up God in many ways. No need for God then. But people walk around daily in the material atmosphere propounding such ridiculous philosophies of sinners in the hands of an angry God, or God has no form, or we're all made of chemicals, to name a few. Hm.

Yes I am back in India, and can sit from afar and write this, but that's the point- I can sit. And think.

In the bhakti tradition, God has a different face. A face more acceptable and lovable, not just because the sages needed some being to counteract the above conceptions, but because they have experienced such a personality through deep awareness, action, and full surrender. Srila Prabhupada writes that Krsna wants us more in the spiritual world than we are willing to go back there. God turns no one away. As for relationship, we, us and God, (from now on I'll say Krsna), have a very deep and close relationship; each person on a very individual level. There's something that every being has that only he/she can give to Krsna through loving interactions. And the Spiritual realm is unlimited in space and time, where as the material world is limited, so there is room for every entity in this realm, in that realm. The bhakti scriptures gives us deep information with even deeper realizations from experienced people who have seen that realm and who live in that consciousness.

In fact the many traditions and divisions of faith are there to help a person gradually rise in consciousness from low material sense gratification to high ever increasing spiritual bliss. No one religious tradition has all the answers, rather, each tradition has codes and answers that people can accept in their time place and circumstance. For example math is math, but 2^nd grade math can't be taught in the 10^th grade. So Krsna is Krsna, but not every one can understand his nature fully. So according to time, place and circumstance, Krsna reveals himself differently. Look at the world, there are some people who you wouldn't just freely hang out with; perhaps because of their consciousness, or qualities, etc. Some we would lie intimately with, while others we'll never let close to our bedroom.

So where does sin fit in? Sin means action that keep us away from understanding our deeper relationship with Krsna. I once saw a sticker which read; “we are not punished for our sins, but by them.” So who's the one doing the punishing? The very person engaged in the sinful act. As you sow, so shall you reap. We are so much blinded by the senses that we see no deeper than the mind; if it feels good, do it. So we go on doing what feels good; the example of the camel chewing thorny twigs applies here. The camel loves thorny branches, and so he eats as much as possible, but as he chews, the thorn cuts his tongue and he bleeds. The taste of that blood mixed with twig then seems ever so delicious for him.

So we forget that the reason we inhabit different forms is due to activities in the past that didn't foster desires for deeper self realization, and if we perform similar activities now, self realization will be very difficult work. Each sensual activity creates the need to do more sensual activities. Sin 101.

Self realization begins when a person asks the simple, but sublime question. “why am I suffering?”

So to wrap up here, from my hideaway in India, real knowledge begins with proper understanding of the self, the supreme self, and our relationship. And acting under the influence of ignorance is the greatest sin, because it keeps us apart from that most amazing personality, Krsna, who is ever inviting us to come and associate with him, tend the cows, play in the dust of Vrindavan, swim in the Yamuna, etc etc. So give Aladdin his bread, he needs it to live, read that book, Bahgavad Gita as it is, and try to apply the knowledge in your life. Until next time....

From a Love of God Perspective.. free write.

2011-06-26T11:35:00.000-05:00

On Farming and stuff...

I overhear and sometimes take part in discussions on the need of developing farm communities so that we can be well sustained in times to come. Mostly the energy in such conversations become tense because most of us don't feel ready to move into that sort of space and change our lifestyles. It takes a lot of work. There's often complaint of it not being practical, or not matching one's nature, or too complicated.

Over the last few weeks, as I prepare a seminar on making new devotees, this topic pops up many times. The reason is not just to feed people and give them a nice place to stay in the country away from the cities, but more on the question of quality. Quality breeds quality. The vedic purpose for samskaras is to produce quality people; quality living, and quality development of one's dormant relationship with Krsna. Regardless of how hard it may be, the quality work we put into something will ensure a quality result.

Evert parent wants the best for their child, and for that, they insure them, send them to carefully picked schools, scrutinize their association, worry about them, etc etc. Love is something that forces a person to act on a quality platform. I've even heard that Mother Yashoda has a special breed of cows that are fed special grass for producing the best milk which will be churned into butter for Krsna. So if we think of Krsna as our child, and we want to give him the best, knowing well that giving Krsna the best in any situation will mean, ultimately, the best for us, then we should consider farming and cow protection a means for giving the best to Krsna. This requires contemplation; and contemplation on service to Krsna means contemplation on Krsna. So from a love of God perspective we should have farms. We can learn from those who have proper farms, regardless if they happen to be devotees or not. When we begin to express our care for Krsna in this way, I think we can develop deep affection for Krsna, which also means for Krsna's devotees. Would I rather give Krsna, my son in the form of the deity, fresh milk from the cow, or milk bought from the store; tomatoes, potatoes or whatever fruits and vegetables bought with harmful chemicals sprayed on them, or one picked from the garden? And as far as hard work is concerned, would I rather work hard for eternal purposes, or for temporary needs? Remember, Krsna lives in a village, not in a sky scraper town. Wouldn't it be nice if we can prepare ourselves for life there, by practicing here? OK, you live in the city, and according to your psycho-physical nature you cannot live on a farm; I suggest supporting a farm, or those who wish to develop one. After all isn't it a duty thing for those who hold houses? And you can come on weekends to the beautiful farm, get your vegetables, get a peace of mind from the city, and show the example for those who have similar aspirations.

Not an essay, just a few thoughts in my mind put on paper.

One more thing before I go... Our Spiritual Master asked for it. Isn't it said somewhere, someplace, in some verse, that by satisfying the Spiritual Master, one satisfies Krsna? And who does it benefit? Us. No one but us. So basically we are becoming lackadaisical in our own self realization and growth.

Oh Oh Oh.. and...

It doesn't have to be some huge thing. Start simple, start small. But start.

PULL

2011-03-31T22:21:00.000-05:00

Yes, PULL!

That is the feeling I got after I woke up from this evening's nap. I am about to drive a few ungodly hours to the divine ISV (Iskcon Silicon Valley, or Iskcon Sankirtan Village, as I prefer to call it) and get the association of the great souls who live there. Krsna reminds me through that "pull" from within, that the reason for visiting holy places is not to just see the place, but to hear from the sadhus who live there, associate with them, aspire to BE like them; less one still remains a cow or an ass.

I am pulled from within to BE a devotee of Krsna, and not just go through the emotional joy ride of the "look" of a devotee. You know, that feeling one gets when the dhottis fits just right today, and the chaddar hangs quite well, even as you're dancing in kirtan bliss. I guess it can be applied to saris too, but I wouldn't know much about that in this life time. I did wear a sari for a play, it was worn as a dhotti, and felt quit nice and flowy..... (ok, back to the pull)

When there is proper hearing in the association of devotees, and especially a point that is made again and again, there just must, at least for me I'll speak, be contemplation. Contemplation must be followed by a resolve, a desire to act! This is where one's romantic love story turns into ________ (insert your super hero of choice) and one is faced with wild adventures.

The journey within is far more action packed than the hour, or four, depending on if you watched the extended version, of your Lord of the Rings, Harry Porter, or Temple of Doom. That person who looks so effulgent outside is now faced with the dark road inside. Envy, pride, madness, you name it, they're there to greet you! And the king of the castle, that eternal enemy known as Dr. Evil, wrong screenplay, that eternal enemy known as LUST, is there hiding in the very fabric of your existence. When you thought your had him down by tight sadhana, he popped up in the form of the desire from profit, fame and distinction. So day by day you fight. You dicide that " I want to go back to Krsna, and serve him." Serve him? I guess so. So my lofty idea of wanting to be a cowherd boy or a gopi, or Father Yasoda has to be based on service? PHEW... pause....

Yes, the person I am most envious of and most lusty towards is that person named Krsna, that spy who loves me, that guy who unlike my most beloved wife, son, daughter, friend or whoever, will do anything for me. He'll even sit there with me in the bathroom during my cleaning moments. Actually without his help I wouldn't know what to clean, or where to clean. He even accompanies the worm in that cleansed substance that was just dropped off at the pool; I mean seriously, has your other half fulfilled that part in the "for better or worse" clause?

So why am I envious of such a person? Because I want to be like him, equal to him, I want to BE him. And all I seem to do over the years, or lifetimes, is to make blunders and show how I'll never be him, because he is One without a Second.

So with humility and a resolution to free myself from all this dust accumulated for years on end, I decide to go with the pull, to be a devotee, and not just look like one. To sing for Krsna's pleasure, and not to hear myself thinking that I am singing so nicely. To give Krsna to others and step out of the way, less I contiminate them with my own god project, which wouldn't work anyways since they're on a god project journey of their own.

To finish this rambling, we have embarked on this journey back to sanity, and when Krsna comes in, everyone else, even that lust guy, has to pack up and leave. They all become squatters, and Krsna needs the whole heart, all four chambers, to himself..and you. But like before, he is always there with us at every step. He carries what we lack, and preserves what we have, and he knows how deep we really want to go. He'll take us no further if we don't want it.

This is Krsna. Wonderful Krsna.

"O son of Maharaja Nanda (Krsna), I am Your eternal servitor, yet somehow or other I have fallen into the ocean of birth and death. Please pick me up from this ocean of death and place me as one of the atoms at Your lotus feet."

Intermission

2011-03-16T15:14:00.000-05:00

cetasā sarva-karmāṇi

cetasā sarva-karmāṇi

mayi sannyasya mat-paraḥ

buddhi-yogam upāśritya

mac-cittaḥ satataḿ bhava

In all activities just depend upon Me and work always under My protection. In such devotional service, be fully conscious of Me. (Bhagavad-Gita 18:57)

Blessings come in disguise, in situations where one might wonder what the h3ll am I doing here, of whats the purpose of all this. I came to a conclusion in my young life that I would like to be a part of a deeper change; a healing change. What's been done's been done, can't change it, but with proper consciousness and action, the future can manifest wonderful things.

As spiritual beings we are part of a greater whole who has a massive plan for reclaiming our love for him. I've learned to bow my head and say ok a lot lately, as bullets from the material energy fly my way. Tapping into spiritual vibrations means tapping into something bigger, beyond our control and surrender means to sit back and let the driver drive. Easier to write, talk about or think about; when the actual event occurs, theory must be forced into action. Thats the fun part. Sometimes you win, sometimes you fail, sometimes you're meant to just not do anything.

I meet people along the way on my trip and have interactions with them, then I leave hoping they were somehow impacted positively. Whatever my actions are, represent that greater whole- I'm an employee now, so to speak, using my facilities to connect others.

Like Arjuna, when Krsna asks him to just be an instrument in the fight and win glory, since all the warriors had already been put to death by Krsna's time factor. So thats what we are; instruments marching in a common band. Marching back to home.

just some thoughts for the day...

Questions that Exercise me (us)

2011-01-13T09:45:00.000-06:00

Integration: The action of incorporating a racial or religious group into a community
The act of combining into an integral whole

I like the word. I hear it a lot lately. But then two doubts hover me as I envision the total picture, the finished puzzle: 1. Is it the right puzzle piece and right place its being put into?
2. What exchanges occur; is the original piece still an original?

To gain popularity or more acceptance from the larger society, sometimes the smaller entity has to integrate; open its doors to the public and allow them to participate in functions. This can be good, this can be, not good.
Good if the ones integrating are firmly established in knowledge and assimilation of their own culture. Good when one's faith and practice is not interrupted by the friction, or energies exchanged during integration. Good when there is the "serenity to accept" and be accepted, "courage to change" what should be changed to make the bigger picture shine better, and "wisdom to know" the difference.
Not good when the persons propagating integration aren't firmly situated in their own philosophy and practice, firm personal character that imbibes the knowledge, and have a motive of taking, rather than giving.

People know when they see something valuable; people want to be a part of something valuable; people want to learn something valuable. Personal culture involves personal exchanges- association is like a crystal and one begins to reflect the qualities and mentality (ies) of his association. Everyone wants to add to, or influence the growth of something. All good ideas and reasons if the newcomer is willing and able to learn the basics, the fundamental principles that hold up the culture.
I often ask myself what am I learning from people, and what am I giving/ teaching people. What things are essential to learn, and what can be done away with? What values do I uphold? What values am I accepting during integration? Is it OK to blend in with everyone else for the sake of acceptance; as in following their traditions although it has nothing to do with a bigger reality? For example: Thanksgiving and Halloween. Fun holidays, but what is their origin? What is the underlying reason for it? So is it OK to make vegan turkeys and celebrate a holiday based in so much killing of innocent people and animals? Especially if I follow a culture that propagates living a non violent life. Or dressing up as ghosts and goblins and other.. skip that. Especially again when I live in a culture that propagates living in the mode of goodness. Am I more elevated in consciousness after participation? Am I lacking cultural festivals to celebrate?

These are questions that exercise me as I try to live a wholesome lifestyle in a world where wholesome is practically non existent.Where culture and etiquette is lacking, where power is abused, elderly,women and children are exploited, and animals are killed for enjoyment.
What do I give? What do I take in? Am I walking my own walk truthfully? Is it quantity? Quality?
What is my vision for the future?

To All my Friends

2010-12-31T10:00:00.000-06:00

Another year. Gone.
I sit and reflect on 2010 and realize that it was a year for growth. A year that began brightly; seeing new horizons, listening to supersoul's cautions and empowerings, learning to step into my own skin. Association of high level devotees was a highlight. I learned that to become a deeper devotee of Krsna would require utter dependence on Krsna and deeper faith in the process of Bhakti yoga. These lessons came with tests. Was I supposed to pass? Fail? What were the passing marks for each test? Temptations to revisit worlds I lived in; disgust with my own self progress- especially after being drawn by causeless mercy to dedicate myself to Krsna's cause; Krsna's agenda.
The sound of an inner voice, an external force saying "wouldn't it be nice if..."
But we walked on knowing one thing- mercy is whats keeping us even standing. Mercy from those we offended, mercy from the Parampara, mercy from Mahaprabhu's loving decision to get us all back to his lotus association. Temptations called. I answered, but the other end of the line was blank- no response. Hello?.... hello? Then after a few minutes I realized, "thanks for not answering."
But with every dark, light follows. Mercy continued to flow. Convictions that dedication to teaching, to becoming an example, dedication to march back to Krsna, convictions deepened as I stared the other allurements right in the face and saw no future in them.
New friends were made. Good friends were made. Friends were lost. I'll understand why next year perhaps.
Trying to be spiritual isn't always filled with rainbows. There are clouds as well; uncertainties that leaves one feeling vulnerable. Vulnerable is good.
Now there's another 365 to look forward to.
"I know not what the future holds
of marvel or surprise
assured alone that life or death
God's mercy underlies"
So 2010 was filled with one underlying thing- MERCY
Mercy is always there, but its certain moments of reflection that help you see that its all mercy.
On this road back home, its all mercy that pushes us along.
To those I've met anew, perhaps we'll each other get to know.
To those I lost, either through mishaps, or death, it hurts. In the bigger picture, you're still there. I see you.
Forgive me my offenses. Please.
And when tomorrow comes, Scream in, Breathe out!
Happy 2011.

And that was my impression

2010-12-18T08:17:00.000-06:00

When we first meet people or visit places, especially for a long term stay, the first few days can be a bit rocky, sketchy, uncertain. But as far as I have experienced in my travels, its a hard thing leaving once you've spent time with people.
Newfoundland is perhaps the most amazing place I've visited in a very long time. The Island is far enough removed from the "big city" atmosphere, and therefore the people are still "people." They walk right up to you, make friends, invite you in for tea, drive you if you need to go somewhere, and share everything with you. At least this was my experience. I went to visit one friend, and ended leaving many. As I associated with the open-mindedness of the residents of St. John's, I was relieved to know that somewhere in the western world there was still a place that reminded me of home. As a child I would watch my mother and other neighbors exchange gifts in the form of food, clothing, and other things; and so I thought the whole world did the same. It was not until I came to the place I now live (no name required, to be politically correct), that I first learned about racism, religious differences, etc.
Well the people of Newfoundland do not fit into this category. No. I was at home; making dinners for people I had just met, sending bowl fulls to the next door neighbors, etc. One neighbor, a retired High School teacher and his wife, a high school teacher were just so endearing. Neil (the husband) drove me around the city showing me places he frequented as a young man growing up in St. John's, the school his mother went to, the Basilica of St. John the Baptist, the Battery-a series of houses built on the side of a hill, Signal hill, and other nice places in St. Johns. Kathy had me speak to her class on Sacred writings in the Vedic culture, being a monk, and understanding divinity from different angles. The students were open to hearing, and also asked very intelligent questions.
One student who stole my heart was this young boy who, after I spoke, darted out behind us. When Kathy asked where he was going, he mentioned the bathroom. Neil and I left shortly after. That evening Kathy told me: "Kesava, you wouldn't believe what happened. Remember when I asked that boy where he was going? He went to his locker, but when he returned you had left. He came back with a handful of coins from his locker-- "where did he go?" He asked. They left, I said, and he became very sad. "I brought a donation for the monk." Well, he's not here, so put your donation in the box for the water fund drive. "No, I brought it for the monk, and I'll keep it until I see the monk again. I'm not giving another cent to that fun drive" "

Very touching. But this is Newfoundland. The people have a lot to teach, or reteach us about human relations.
On my flight back, I meditated on the prayers we say to our Spiritual Master everyday: Obeisances to you,who on Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati's order, are kindly teaching the message of Lord Caitanya to the western world, where the people are enamored with impersonalism and voidism. In other words, without personal relationship, we become lonely, and empty (impersonal and void).
Personal relationship can be cultivated when we give directly to one another instead of saying: " there's food on the table if anyone wants," or " yeah I got this, I don't need help." Personal relationships happen when we give up our fears that other living beings can harm us. No one can harm us. We are spiritual beings. I guess this will be the topic for my next blog...

One last thing. The Newfoundland adventure happened only due to the desire of one person, my friend Rikin, who lives there. So if one person can be used as a vessel to give Krsna, Imagine what we can all do if we decide to put sometime into giving Krsna to others. Put some time into being used as instruments for Krsna. Put our shopping list down for a second- " God, I want this, that and this, but how can I please you first?"
Rikin's endeavors ki Jay!

CATCH AND RELEASE, ... with Knowledge

2010-11-29T16:46:00.000-06:00

Before I left Montreal for St John's Newfoundland yesterday morning, the bhaktas put forth a series of questions, one on the topic of dovetailing our attachment in devotional service. What actually is dovetailing? Especially as we would use it as an ISKCON jargon. Devotional service happens on so many levels and each level, leading up to the highest stage of pure love for God, requires a deeper commitment to serving Krsna as Krsna desires.
In the beginning, for accommodating purposes, one may use certain things natural to his/her culture to offer to Krsna as an act of love. So for example, the offering of foods like pizza, or playing musical instruments like guitars might not be the highest form of expressing devotion, but it does stimulate a devotional mood when the devotee offers it up for service to Krsna. The acharyas do inform us of what type of music Krsna likes most, what type of foods, etc etc. Advancement in Krsna consciousness means that a person accepts Krsna as a person, and wants to offer him what pleases him the most. Simplicity, I find always saves the day. {If your love one likes potato and cauliflower subji with sour cream, and you know that every bit of it will disappear once it hits their plate, then making such subji is the safest, and simplest way of expressing love. Now, you may change things up a little and offer beets and artichokes, but there's the risk of not knowing whether it was relished or not. They might let you know-- or not.}

But eventually, we have to give it up. Which brings me to the next part of my thought flow, Newfoundland. I am visiting a friend of mine who is a Doctor, and the concept of dovetailing came up, especially when administering medication to young patients. My mother, and I'm sure yours too, would often dissolve hard to swallow or bitter pills in some kind of juice, just to get us to take them. Why? Because the medicine would heal us. Eventually as we grew up the purpose of the medicine was explained, and when we actually realized how sick we were, we would take the medicine straight.
So we have to find out, or go deep within and see how materially "sick" we are. And from that understanding see how well we want to become. Those who take the first instruction of "you are not this body" seriously, might take more seriously to the process, where as those who come for other reasons, might not.
The underlying principle is being in the know. Of the four types of people who surrender to Krsna, Krsna says He appreciates the one who comes for Knowledge most. He even considers such a person to be like his very self. There is every chance that one who comes for wealth, piety, or solace may leave after they have their wishes fulfilled. But one who comes for knowledge realizes the wealth of knowledge in the books, and ultimately uses that knowledge to transcend the material sphere.
More about St. John's in the next blog... but I should say, the people here are toooo cute! It feels like I just walked into the shire. Every one's completely chilled out, etc etc etc...

GETTING AN INVITE

2010-11-21T18:50:00.001-06:00

The world becomes a bit more interesting each day as we realize that people exist on so many levels and dimensions. Life facilitates as many types and kinds of consciousnesses as there are elements- and then some.
Some like water, go with the flow, others dance around as the wind blows. But the most interesting thing I find lately is that everyone has a place. Or as one monk told me a few years ago, water rises to its own level.

So then how does one know his level? From religious points of view, the principle of humility advices to keep your head low until a helping hand reaches out to you. Some say you'll naturally flow to your circle. Others say its written in the stars.
As a monk I try to find my place in a special circle (doesn't monastic life come with its own circle?), but even around here, circles create. I find that I don't fit anywhere, but flow everywhere, hoping to take the essence of our culture from great ones, and give it as well to others.
But as I go on, I also find that its not easy to just walk into other people's world; they have to let you in. I had the fortune of being let into a very high circle of monks earlier this year, and as I reflect on the quality of association, the culture and the type of discussion, I realize that its a long way to go, but the fruit is very sweet.
My experience was like a person walking through a mall food court and getting samples of various foodstuff sold there. Well, I really liked this dish, but am very poor to afford it.
As I listened to a lecture today by a monk who passed away some years ago, he mentioned something that re-awakened my question, and also gave me an answer that is the key for being allowed again and again into any circle. He said, "we cannot enter into higher circles unless we are invited in by members of that circle,after they have observed and seen that we can add to or enhance the quality of that circle." And then came an amazing answer too: " and the way to remain in their favor is to have an attitude of gratitude."

There are people with deep spiritual culture who want to pass it on as they prepare to move to the next realm, and all we really need to receive their gifts is a little attitude adjustment...

No one goes back to the Spiritual Sky without being invited back by one of the residents there.

I can say, with some conviction, that the legacy Krsna talks about in Bhagavad-gita when he tells Arjuna that " this knowledge was received through a chain of disciplic succession...", is one of simply having the attitude that I am supposed to preserve this legacy for the next person, absorb it within myself, perfect my life, and pass it on to another person unspoiled.
Or as Srila Prabhupada writes, " the intelligent disciple take what the Spiritual Master gives him as sufficient for his spiritual life..."

Such a culture of just taking the essence, I find, in a world where we practically detest being simple, is the hardest pill to swallow.

that's that for now :)

Simply contemplate, contemplate.

2010-10-03T16:55:00.000-05:00

For the last few weeks I've been opening up to questions about the civil war in my country and using some memories as tools to help the listener understand how philosophy isn't about hypothetical situations. I sometimes have to take myself back to age eleven and see things from that point of view as well. Today I sat with my mind as it drilled this question into me: " are you telling this story for recognition? Sympathy? What is the actual reason?

As the mental interrogation continued, clarity found its way to the forefront- because it has become real to me. As an eleven year old, the civil war in Liberia was no more than a Rambo war movie happening in my yard and around the country. As a thirty one year old, when I speak of the war, it flows with Krsna's teachings in the Gita about Divine and Demoniac natures.

Of course as a kid there were some real moments of seeing death and dying and the other things that come with war, and those things made me think of why the war would happen. Didn't the leaders go to church also? Why were they fighting then? As the pages of the 16th chapter of the Gita read on, a clear understanding of people came to mind. Something else that struck was that if I don't contemplate this philosophy each day, that demonic mentality of exploiting for my senses would also poke its ugly head through my not so strong spiritual fort- and destroy it. After all in this age, the mentality of demon and demigod live in the same body, and the one we feed most becomes the leader.

Srila Prabhupada's books gives us a glimpse of spiritual nature (as well as the full picture), if we contemplate what we read. His simple explanation of the green bird in the green tree to explain individuality over impersonalism, or a young bird maturing and using its wings to fly out of the nest of material comforts, are a few examples that show us day to day exercises that can free us from the illusory energy.

Best example of all is the cleansing of the mirror of the mind, and the constant sincere chanting of Krsna's names as "windex" leaning product. Again, if we simply contemplate, we can understand our position in the material cloudy atmosphere. No sane person, after reading such words like "dukhalayam asasvatam" and contemplating it just a little bit, would want to make a permanent position of this world. And this mantra is our way out!

So the mercy has been given and the verses have been read, and now let us all dive a little deeper and try to develop a bit of a higher taste, and give up gradually the lap of illusion we've slept in so long....

Good day :)

CRAWL. . . STAND . . WALK. . . RUN. . FLY (Spirituality for Valley People)

2010-07-20T16:10:00.000-05:00

As nature would have it, every important thing in life happens in stages. Unless somewhat handicapped, progress is so natural that we often overlook it (well we seem to over look every natural thing), but by careful observation we can grow both Materially and Spiritually. This light came on a bit earlier today as I took in my daily dose of "The Nectar of Instruction".
I usually do a quick quiz or recap of what I read previously and then perhaps read something again that might have made an impression. In this book, I realize, Srila Prabhupada is giving us a practical guide to a healthy Spiritual life. Here's how I explained it to myself today:

(Conversation with my inner child) (I only teach him, never listen to him, although there were times I wish I had)
Ok, so you're stuck in ignorance, which means your existence is on the animal level- eating, sleeping, mating, fearing. But you inhabit a human form. So in order to get full benefit of that human form, you have to find out what humans do/ are supposed to do beyond those basics. When you come across a book like nectar of instruction, you've come across a guide that teaches you how to crawl comfortably, then stand,then walk then run- all in good company.
Everyone wants to be spiritual, which is the best thing to do in this material realm. But often we try to knock on the heavens door without an invitation to the party. So we meditate, pray, eat vegan food, do hot yoga, shop at that sensual yoga store, sleep in a scented oil room, and walk around with that look on our faces that says "hey, I'm spiritual, you too? Cool, lets hang out!" And the mind goes along with it because it feels good. Feels good, do it. And we live like this for years and eons, body after body, and no deeper understanding of the self. Except that "I'm spiritual, not religious".
So Rupa Goswami welcomes us anyway, and gives us hints on how to go deeper, to a more internal realm. "OK, you're spiritual, but your spiritaul- ness can be like more like awesome if you learn how to like control these few urges like the tongue, your mind, anger urge, you know, stuff like that." Then he tells us what cool things to do, and what not to do " like OK, so, keep it simple, don't eat too much (watch your spiritual figure), don't collect too much stuff ( like NYC and minimalism), only talk abou tlike cool spiritual stuff. Better to hang out with like cool spiritual people, but don't get too cultish and not know why you're like, doing spiritual stuff right?.
But " use your cheerleader skills, be enthusiastic, you're on the best team, play the game steadily, don't hang with the visiting team, watch videos of the previous players and you'll totally be spiritual. Totally!

By now you should be standing, and ready to walk to where he's gonna introduce you to other spiritual people and tell you how to act and be cool around them. Its called, in grown up terms, culture. Then he shows you different levels of spiritaul people and then tells you not to feel weird if all the other spiritual people don't look as cool as you. They're special and you could get kicked out of the spiritual camp for disrespecting them. When you get this all down, then, he tells you about Spirituality.
At which point you're hopefully not a Valley child anymore but have blossomed, or are showing symptoms of blossoming into a full on spiritual person who other spiritual people can take anywhere with them.
In their association you begin to discuss spiritual topics, and develop a desire to go and see the spiritual world.
" Unfortunately", my inner one replied, " I understand, but to actually do it is not so easy. Sounds nice, but not so easy."
"Well", I say, " if at first you don't succeed, get back on your knees, crawl a little bit, then stand again, then take baby steps and avoid tripping over things that made you fall the last time :)

Session's Over

Aindra Prabhu

2010-07-17T08:38:00.000-05:00

Dear Aindra Prabhu,
Please Accept My Most Humble Obeisances
All Glories To Srila Prabhupada

Today I feel empty, no emotions, just numb. But tears are flowing, so I guess a Vaisnava like yourself can penetrate deep- to the soul. I feel like the music died. But Kirtan is forever.
Whenever I arrive in Vrindavan, there are a few things that help me place my foot firmly on the soil of the holy dahm:
1. I take a nap and always wake up to the Vrindavan breeze, I go outside and look at the neem trees and monkeys and parrots.
2. I go to the temple and see Srila Prabhupada, Krishna and Balaram, Radhe Syam and Sri Sri Goura Nitai.
3. I wait for that moment when, as you sing, you look up at me standing there and then you nod your head with a welcome to Vrindavan gesture and smile.
4. I go to bed gratefully, having fufilled all my required entry rituals :)
Who can replace your friendly nod and smile?
My ritual is broken. Who will I bring honey from America for now, who can I suggest to others to bring honey for?
Today I feel empty.

your servant
Jaya Kesava das

What a Wonderful World

2010-07-06T09:52:00.000-05:00

We took a morning walk along Lake Ontario and these were some thoughts running through my head...

I like beaches, fresh ocean, well, lake air, Wine Bottle from a dark nights rendezvous, McDonald's bags, 1, 2 few, many- all over. Cigarette butts, tissues, newspapers, coffee cups, other things monks shouldn't mention by name, etc.
"This is a place of Pilgrimage you know, Srila Prabhupada walked here in the Summer of 75 when he visited Toronto."
How advanced we've become, few years later. If the Mayans, or the Aryans do come back, what would they think of us? We've redefined ruins. Back then, they left ruins we still flock to see today.
But why, I ask myself? Why?
Well, my self started to say, we've done it to ourselves. We've created a culture of packaging; no matter how significant or insignificant the product, just package it nicely and you'll make money :) :) :)
But I promise you you won't be satisfied with the 3.0 version, so I'll make you a 3.1 version next season. And the package, throw it away- wherever. Caution, its hot, take it for a nice walk along the ocean shore; and when you're done, just throw it somewhere, the Government will clean it up.
So we go on day after day enjoying what we think might be the best drink, smoke, night of our lives, and when we're through, still lacking inner satisfaction, throw the package down.
'Xcuse me sir, I a monk-- " aw shut it, we don't wanna hear that God crap. We want equal rights for everone"
Well, then how about that seagull? you just dropped your cig butt and he thought it was food, so he just dove and chucked it right in. Oh, and that bag you just threw out after emptying your evening snack number 15 carried a nice scent with it, so the cow came and at the bag. Yup. Ate the bag. Now the doctors say lots of cows in Krsna's holy land are suffering from junk, like plastic bags and cups in their stomachs. Sounds cuddly.

But what if you did stop for a minute and looked around and see whats going down? What if you could live more peacefully without all the noise? Maybe in your own little house on the prairie and not in your pigeon hole apartment in the city? How bout that?

So yah, as I walked this morning, my alter ego, super monk wanted to burst out and smash everything and everyone, but deeper inside me is a place that still needs cleaning too, so I'll just keep working on me, working on you working on we :)

GUTS

2010-07-01T10:28:00.000-05:00

Another day in my internal little world.

Today I contemplate the phrase "being convinced that Krsna is there"
Really, that's quite embarrassing for a spirit soul. I mean have we really dug that deep into illusion to now have to ask ourselves does God exist? And then write big big books and articles on it? Especially when you write a book that tells people, go find the answers for yourself, don't listen to anyone but your inner instinct or inner child. Then the first class "idiom", so as not to use the other word, tells you, well this book I read said that you shouldn't listen to anyone and you should go find things out yourself.... contradiction bells ring for me.
You get the picture, don't listen to any one, but listen to me- its called blind leading the blind and you know they're gonna fall into a ditch.

Knowledge comes through an authoritative system, and when applied according to the instructions and culture that system provides, I guarantee you a result; or at least a glimpse of one. Still don't get it, ok- a doctor learns medicine from another doctor, not a lawyer, a mice learns to flee cats and other creatures by watching its parents flee cats and other creatures. So in this world, every species of life learns to carry on a culture by learning from higher authorities. Except God realization- that you have to do yourself, by reading my self help book for only $24.99 wherein I tell you not to listen to me; but too late, you can't get your full money back, so join the cheater race by selling that book to a used book store or at a yard sale.
If a person has a fever, how does he know the pill he just took worked? Well, he followed the label that said take two with water, and after sometime he feels a normal temperature. Or if he's over zealous, and wants to get well immediately, he takes six or ten,which then puts him in another state known as high.
Ok, back to does God exist or not.....

Well, there's a book written by some guy these Hares claim to be an incarnation of God, it has instrucitons on how to understand God, and stay on the platform so that even when you're having the worse or hair days, you're not moved from the truth. Which means the truth must be something you're experiencing, not something you're fantasizing about. Yes bad hair days can be quite draining emotionally and you fell like Rumpelstiltskin instead of prince charming. But you know there's always a comb, a brush or a buzzer somewhere to fix it.
So am I convinced that Krsna is there?
Wouldn't you like to know. Come traveling and giving out this knowledge and see some incidences. Then we'll compare notes.
(thats as far as I got in my mental class today :) )

YOU CHOSE IT, USE IT

2010-06-26T13:22:00.000-05:00

I've been listening to various lectures on the intricacies of Karma and examining, various scenarios, personalities and situations and trying to understand the Karma concept better. A simple and sublime explanation I heard is as follows:

A person works at a company from Monday to Friday, and each day he drives to work, stops at the gas station, goes for lunch, buys something- gift or groceries, and spends money in other ways. Now, the money he's spending this week for all these necessities aren't a result of this weeks work; he's spending last week's paycheck. And according to the amount and quality of work he does this week, he'll be able to spend in the future. So whatever we have in this life is a result of past actions, and what we do now will determine our future enjoyment of suffering. (Karma in a nutshell, but more intricate as well)

Yesterday, the 25th of June was the 1 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death and I couldn't help but ponder what Karma he had and how he used it. How many songs did he sing that poked your ego where you tried to protect it (man in the mirror, black or white, Human Nature...). In my opinion, I give the guy an A plus. When I look at celebrated people, especially those who are at the top of their game, I become intrigued as well as inspired as a monk to be a better representative of the order I serve in. I mean, someone like Michael could put on a show! I remember watching a few of his concerts where people are carried out on stretchers, or others crying and screaming and totally beside themselves. So what distinguishes such a performer from others? I figure it's not just the skill, but the emotion, the mood, the feeling that goes with the performance. I'm sure we all have a singer or actor we like because of the mood they bring to the screen (Johnny Depp, opening scene, Pirates : Curse of the Black Pearl). So these people in a previous life worked to get where they are, and how they use that talent gets them to another good round in the next life. Even better is if they have some pious activity or cultivation about them.
I could write lots on Celebrities and their umph they add to their work, but how does that Apply to a monk? Or anyone who looks at life through a more spiritual mirror? Well, I see many who just stay on the sidewalk of spiritual culture, neither walking on the green grass of eternal culture, nor walking on the concrete streets of the material world. As a monk I tell myself to be more bold each day; suck out the meaning of spirituality, let the energy flow for others to experience also. Krsna culture is a deep culture with more and more to see the more you delve into the rich Literatures and culture given by our predecessors. As Krsna himself says, as one surrenders to him, he rewards them accordingly. So its up to us; we can all take a look into our "abilities and qualities" closets and see how to use each gift we have. When we use those gifts for Krsna, or put in a deeper feeling for those gifts as we use them for Krsna, the benefit is that we get closer to Krsna.

To conclude before I start to ramble more, All Spiritual and material worlds emanate from Krsna; the natures we have acquired and the ability to do what we do comes from Krsna. So for one who desires to enjoy in this world, worship Krsna. For one who desires to become free from the entanglements of this world, worship Krsna. Of course I must add that if a rich man told you he's give you whatever you asked for, and you only asked for some supply of bread, then you're pretty.... um,..... Pretty, but not so bright :)

Child, GOD,simple

2010-06-15T08:53:00.000-05:00

Inspired by a few devotees who do some power walking- HH Bhakti Marg Swami walking worldwide, or Vaisesika Prabhu walking around Govardhan in Kartik, etc etc, I've been walking an exploring Toronto a bit more lately.
On Sunday Morning the cutest scene occurred that made my japa a bit more conscious. While passing the rail system tracks there was this lady watching her two year old stand close to the wire fence as he waited for the train to pass. As it did, he kinda did this funny little dance move in excitement. It was heart warming and also reminded me of how the gopis would sometimes gather around little Krsna and sing to him. Krsna would then move his little feet rhythmically and clap to the music.

On another walk, this boy about five years old remarked to his mom after passing me, " he's the most different out here, he's cool". His mom then tells him " he looks like a monk I think".
Dina Bhandu Prabhu explained on a tour through Vrindavan that Krsna would take notice of everything, and ask Nanda Maharaj or Mother Yasoda what it was. Krsna would ask, " mother, what type of tree is this? The leaves have tails." "It's a peeple tree", mother Yasoda would respond.
The material world is a realm where as we grow under the influence of time we become "adult"erated by the need to compete, lord it over or defend. The inhibition, and sense of wonder and marvel we displayed in childhood become covered by familiarity and contempt.We become obsessed with original sin, and forget original innocence.
As we learn about Krsna, and watch his devotees interact, a hope reawakens that one can grow up and not become adulterated; that one can marvel at the cosmic manifestation knowing that standing right behind or beside him is Krsna, the eternal father, friend, master, child or lover.
Ok, now walk time,

lets see whats out there!

LONG BREAK.

2010-06-10T05:08:00.000-05:00

... But I'm still here.
Actually sometimes there's writers block; I'm no writer but I write on here for purification. Some realizations lately:
Its hard to delete a Facebook account, an illusion within the illusion. We're that stuck in here. Imagine deleting our material desires account; the desire for honor one, the self loathing one, the etc etc one.

Association of like minded people is a must. Association of not so like minded people will lead to unfavorable circumstances.

When Srila Prabhupada says that Krsna wants us back in the Spiritual World more than we want to get back there, he means just that.

There's a time for love, a time for healing, we can't go back and undo whats been done. But we still have a movement to move, and fear of making more mistakes shouldn't stop us from moving- remember Krsna is also there- more there when we can't see how he is.

It's all downhill from here.

All the stuff in the newspapers and television was there before, in different dress. And when this era is over, it'll have another change of clothes and return for another performance.

Srila Prabhupada is trying to teach us something, but we're made up of rebel cells- do exactly the opposite of what will help you and then put a philosophy behind you.

Lord Caitanya's moon is high in the sky- reach out and touch faith.

If all else fails, chant Hare Krsna; that shouldn't fail. If that fails, eat tons of prasadam.
This process is so strong that once having begun, one is forcibly dragged to ultimate success, kicking and screaming.
Until we hit love of Krsna, we should be cautious of every time, place, and circumstance.

Give this one lifetime to Krsna, tell the mind to beat it, eat it, stuff it :) and if you lose your mind in the process, GOOD!

Just some ramblings... do not try any of this at home. Its just a blog

KENYA EAGER EYES

2010-02-19T10:11:00.000-06:00

Our six hour flight from Mumbai was quite an easy one and Jet lag was practically nonexistent. After 16 years I was back in Africa, this time with a mission and a vision. Although I had never been to Kenya certain scenes are similar- the marketplace, the colorful dress etc etc. Nairobi is a full blown city and our temple is smack in the middle of it with various programs for teaching Krsna consciousness. Many locals came to our Saturday programs and the gathering stayed alive with amazing questions from the students. Getting my visa to South Africa occupied a lot of my time and so I didn't get to explore as I wanted to. I especially hoped to visit Masai communities. They are known as the most intelligent tribe of people in Africa. Next time maybe. Four days later we flew to Kisumu to visit our other temple there- So beautiful and cozy with garden, fountains and much more. We took a drive to our property on Lake Victoria, green fertile land, beautiful Lake Victoria to the west, Papyrus reeds everywhere and as we learned, Hippos graze there every night! If you see a hip hip hippo pot a mus!

As we drove by I lifted my head just in time to see a cherished site- a Masai! He was dressed in Saffron cloth wrapped around his waist, a blue and purple shawl, and he carried a stick wrapped in yellow cloth. So regal! I've wanted to see these people since I was a weee weeeeee one, and there, going to Lake Victoria was a Masai. Next morning we drove to Kampala Uganda, passing some baboons on the way, The Nile river and other natural sights.

I'll be writing more soon :) No fun just giving all away here, plus I'm jet lagged having just landed in Johannesburg!

What to Do When There's too much Mercy

2009-12-27T04:44:00.001-06:00

First wrap the contents tight and store it in a blue box 6 meters high and 93 meters wide and 108 meters long. Click your feet four times- not three, learn to say abracadabra in Polish and then after you- oh wait! Wrong audience.
But the question still remains what to do, what to do...
I have heard, and dare to write it before verifying these statements, that magnanimity, a very rare gift is still more rare in the Spiritual world. Why? Well its like Never land up there where every being is seriously satisfied and is in danger of breaking sweat at any moment due to ever-increasing perfection.
Cows have way too much milk up there and so the land is soaked with milk ( when you're God, you can water your lawn- or sand- or touchstone particles with milk), H2O isn't enough either and so all water is nectar. And dare ask a mango tree for peaches; but I'm sorry you walked up to it and didn't dance, and you asked, not sang- you must be in the material world again. Still perfect is when that hippie in you can use your “be here now” skills when a new to town traveler asks you for the time: “ time”, you'd say, “ is now.” And yesterday? “ Still now.” While we're at it, your soul mate happens to be there, so is Mr. Right, Prince Charming and your knight in shining armor. And for the guys, you won't find damsels in distress, and the damsels I'm sorry to say belong to the Knight in shining.... Better yet, your knight and his shining Armor are non different! So magnanimity, although part of the spiritual world is sort of conspicuous by its absence.
On the other hand (are five fingers), down here Prince Charming might be found hanging out with Mr. Right, intimately... Your knight's armor may have been traded for some thick green cloth and yesterday means- yesterday. We could go into filtered H20 and scarce cow's milk, but I don't want to mirror my thoughts; so back to magnanimity.
When Krsna descends he needs a place to call base, just as when a king travels, at least in the old days, he went with an entourage for his utility. Mayapur, Vrindavan and other holy places are exact replicas of the eternal abode with equal potency available here to help us understand the nature of eternity, knowledge and bliss. Here in Mayapur that magnanimity factor can be perceived by anyone whether qualified to practice spirituality- and who is, or not. The atmosphere is so surcharged that mercy just flows even when a person is asleep. (Sleep is considered paying prostrated respects to the holy land)
But how to get this mercy an open secret expressed by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu quoting the Mahabharat : dharmasya tattvam nihitam guhayam, true spiritual revelation lies within the hearts of great souls. One is advised to sincerely serve those great souls by following whatever instructions they may give; and also by intelligently staying away from what they stay away from. Each great soul is like a mercy station; a place where the matter of business is magnanimous blessings given for a little price- one's faith.
Srila Prabhupada has opened the doors to Mayapur for us and beckons us to come and experience real life everyday, and when we're satisfied beyond measure, go and give it to others. Even if we just take a drop and give it to another person, we'll find ourselves with two drops. The more we give the more we get. Like that ol
d saying, “the gift that keeps giving.”

THIS IS SADHU LIFE

2009-12-18T01:19:00.002-06:00

Many people I meet express their most difficult problem- too little time to actually relish, or absorb themselves in life. When you wake up the rush starts- class, work, cram!
Here's a small experience that I relish here in India and hope to really inspire people with in the near future. Do few things diligently, consciously and properly.
An example of my schedule in the last few months:
3:00 am wake up (shower, dress, chant japa, mangala arati, class.)
9:00 am wash laundry, eat.
10:30 bhakti sastri class (lunch also)
3:00 pm one hour nap
4:30 study
6:30 return clean and folded laundry
7- 8: socialize
8:30 give massage
9:30 bed
as this happens, I perceive how the mind becomes calm. When the mind is calm, thinking about deeper topics is possible. Most people are interested in Spiritual life, but their

external world is a bit in disarray and so a war between outside and inside leaves on between a rock and a hard place.
I suggest association of people who do what challenges you most. So if you're trying to be more spiritual and its difficult, associate with spiritual people.
There's so much to learn in spirituality, but our very minds stop us.

After a few days in Mayapur, my Spiritual Teacher asked me how I was doing, so I explaind my schedule and he was very encouraging. He said, “ that is sadhu (spiritual) life; doing
the same thing over and over will steady the mind, when the mind is steady then one can proceed nicely in Krsna Consciousness”
Plus, you'll find you have so much time because everything starts to have its place and quality
tatata tatata tatata tatata tatata- steady

Mayapur in Winter

2009-12-01T04:51:00.000-06:00

My Alarm goes up at three....
I finally get up at 3. 30, bathe and then warm up for 20 minutes before getting ready for the temple
Why all this headache?
Because it pleases Krsna.
Why should we do anything? Because it pleases Krsna.
So much is happening here that I won't digest for another lifetime or few. Lets just say reality as we know it is dead, and recycled over and over again. But there is another reality, hidden the hearts of those great souls who have dedicated many years to spiritual life. Find one, serve one, and be happy

Few Weeks Til Now

2009-11-01T04:29:00.001-06:00

Just a couple of things happening lately.

Arrived in Mayapur a few days ago, Spiritual energy flows here like ...i dont even know.

I took a morning walk by the side of Govardhana the other morning and have never felt so peaceful... will put up some pictures later.

One thing on my mind lately is about the importance of passing down clear transparent Knowledge. I've been following the editing of Srila Prabhupada's books online at www.bbtedit.com and have gained a deeper respect for th eeditors. It i svery hard to sit and read Srila Prabhupada's books because of the deep subject matter, so imagine having to proofread, edit for strength and clarity, layout and publish, etc etc. Srila Prabhupada's whole mission rests on his books, and in order to work on these books, one must be very strict in his devotionla practice. I know some of the editors and I must admit, I couldn't naturally wake up at 2am, give clear concise lectures, be jolly like molly- on a daily basis. My conclusion, there must be a God somewhere, and he's guiding these devotees to help fulfil the desire of his devotee, Srila Prabhupada.
Check out the website and see what it takes to be a spitirual editor.

Churning the Kartik Ocean part 2

2009-10-22T05:38:00.000-05:00

Just some pictures of what we've been up to. read the blog below.
There's so much to write about and so little time, so forgive me if my words to come across so clearly. One thing I must mention is that Spiritual life means fearless life, focused life. Its not vague with extravagant words and gestures one dare not ask the meaning of :)

Enjoy!

Churning the Kartik Ocean

2009-10-22T04:51:00.000-05:00

I mean, how better can it get? Krsna consciousness is simple, yet sublime! When one gets the opportunity to hear, chant and remember Krsna in his village and at the places he played; associate with his devotees and gradually have all doubts about spiritual life flee, then you know you're in the Spirit Soul business.

Govardhana puja was one of my favorite festivals this year. Ok, so we're staying at the foot of Giriraj and everyday is a deeper journey to find the root cause of entanglement in matter, and cut it off for good. The morning began with setting up chairs and other accommodations for guests, putting up schedules for the program, and marveling at the huge pots being set up to cook the feast every time I walked by.

Gopiparanadhana prabhu gave the morning lecture followed by go puja, worshiping two of the cows we have at the asram here. We then proceeded to the Hill itself, right across the street, with a Kirtan led by Vaisesika Prabhu. Next, we bathed Giriraj with Ghee, Honey, Milk, Yogurt and water, and then placed at his feet an arrangement of vegetarian preparations, fresh fruit and my favorite, an array of sweets- gulabjamums, rasagula, laddhus, kheer, etc.

There was so much food to be served out, that just looking at them I felt completely satisfied. I had already eaten with my eyes (plus the gulab I stole off the maha plate), so I just kinda stood there in amazement until HH Kesava Bharati Maharaj, laughing at me, mentioned how amazing the festival was. Turnout was much less than before, but the crowd of devotees sitting to take prasadam couldn't match stomachs with the pots in the kitchen. After feeding guests- three different arrival of guests- they devotees took the rest of the food to the gate to distribute to the pilgrims doing parikrama around the hill.

The guest list was amazing with devotees on every level- swamis gave their darshans, Senior disciples of Srila Prabhupada, peers, well wishers, villagers, simply wonderful.

We ended the reading with our usual three hour reading and discussion. Last night we read a section of Caitanya Bhagavat describing Lord Caitanya's sannyas.

Overall, I felt happy to have been engaged in devotional service all day! Everyday can be a festival if we allow ourselves

AT THE FOOT OF A HILL

2009-10-10T00:14:00.002-05:00

SATAM PRASANGAT

There's a famous saying, a man is known by the company he keeps. Lately the company I've been allowed to associate is more than I could ever claim to deserve. I was praying to go deeper in my spiritual life and make some substantial advancement that I could use to help uplift the consciousness of others. Little did I know that Krsna's mean motive is to bring all of us back to his association in the spiritual world, therefore when one desires to help in that mission, He rapidly sees to it that the right arrangement is made for such persons.

Here in Vrindavan, or should I say here at the foot of Govardhana, the program is definitely surcharged with Spiritual energy. In the association of people who are my heroes in spiritual life, the bliss flows uninhibitedly. Apart from waking up by 2:30 every morning to chant Japa, we have readings from 1- 2 pm and from 4-7pm daily. The discussions are so intense that sometimes I feel like I've been working in a cotton field. It's a beautiful experience watching and listening to devotees who have given 30+ years of their lives share their realizations and experiences.

The monks here are so happy! There's such purity at the foot of Govardhana and I feel completely unqualified to be here. But Krsna consciousness is a rare gift and the only price one can pay to get that gift is one's intense eagerness. So unqualified I may be, but I'm sticking with this association until I drown in Mercy.

New York Donuts In India

2009-10-05T23:41:00.000-05:00

My Trip So Far (unedited, posted quickly to save on internet charge :) )

The fun in India began at the Airport- in America. Boarding time was a glimpse into the coming months in the east. As the flight attendants called for passengers in the business class, a crowd of people gathered at the front to board the plane, only to be turned back over and over again. “please wait until your seat number is called for boarding; do not crowd the entrance to the gate.”
Customs had some computer problems but we ultimately got through and met some unexpected friends at the airport who had flown in from Los Angeles. While driving through Delhi we stopped at a red light with some slum kids, and after begging for a while, I decided to give one boy one of my New York Donut Prasad bought from the Donut plant in Manhattan. These Donuts are world famous and apparently Oprah orders them and has them flown to Chicago. With my broken Hindi I let the boy know that these Donuts were from America and his face lit up as he shouted to his friends “ America!”
As he happily ate, his friends crowded the taxi to ask for more, but I only Had seven and was saving them for some friends. ***** DONUT STORY**** 45 minutes before my shuttle pick-up I race from the Bhakti Center with Vasudeva to the Donut Plant to get some. It was Ekadasi, so I couldn't enjoy them till next day. We got back right in time to board shuttle and get to airport.

Vrindavan
I didn't stay in Delhi as I had planned to, and arrived in Vrindavan at 1:30 AM. Wired like a person on crack for a month, I showered, chanted my rounds, and attended Mangal Arati. I finally fell asleep at Nitai's flat around 2 PM, twelve hours later, and woke up in the dead of night, awake and alert. I knew I either shoulda gone right to sleep or stayed up until 6PM or so. Now I was awake and the rest of Vraj was asleep. We did Parikrama the next day and I noticed how the western world is rapidly flooding Vrindavan. I practically chanted my rounds in anger, but these simple people are not to blame. Providence and time will tell. Vaisesika prabhu advised me to soak my feet after the walk and I kinda procrastinated, waking up the next morning to an allergy attack- my immune system was trying to fix ten things at once; jet lag, aching muscles, insomnia, etc etc. Yesterday I finally soaked my feet and poof* things started for the up slope. Its also been raining a lot, but that's good since Vrindavan got little rain this year during the Monsoon season.

Internet is of course hard to come across, but I'll be posting once a week, at most, once every two weeks. I'm off to Govardhana tomorrow to be of some service to the swamis and senior devotees. Pray for me :)
Keshi

When In Tennessee

2009-09-23T13:22:00.000-05:00

Before going to India this year I decided to take some time and visit some amazing Devotees I've known over the years. Our great teacher Sri Krsna Caitanya stressed that association is very important for a person's spiritual growth, and that even a moment of association with saintly persons can put one on the path of Spiritual perfection. The devotees in Nashville are a group of families who meet twice a week- Friday and Sunday for reading together, chanting Hare Krsna and of Course eating food cooked with deep love for Krishna.
The saying "mother's cooking" is definitely a reality in Tennessee since a huge percent of the devotee ladies here are moms.
For a monk austerity is absolutely necessary, but coming to Tennessee shows a different side of monastic life for me- allowing others to care and give their love. It's come to a point now where I can recognize who cooked what simply by taste.
With the permission of one of the families I stay with I took some pictures of their garden and some surrounding areas of Nashville, and would like to share it with my bloggers. Next stop will be New York, and after that India next Tuesday. I do ask that you all say a little prayer for me, so that I may continue this service of sharing Krsna Consciousness wherever I go and with whoever I meet :)

Prayer For the Dying

2009-09-19T23:19:00.000-05:00

Just a song I heard on a friends Ipod. Pretty cool

Fearless people,
Careless needle.
Harsh words spoken,
And lives are broken.
Forceful ageing,
Help me I'm fading.
Heaven's waiting,
It's time to move on.

Crossing that bridge,
With lessons I've learned.
Playing with fire,
And not getting burned.
I may not know what you're going through.
But time is the space,
Between me and you.
Life carries on... it goes on.
Just say die,
And that would be pessimistic.
In your mind,
We can walk across water.
Please don't cry,
It's just a prayer for the dying.
I just don't know what's got into me.

There is a light through that window
Hold on say yes, while people say no
Life carries on

For the dying.

Base to Recharge

2009-09-18T10:16:00.005-05:00

Imagine your favorite action packed movie- the one that leaves you in disarray when the hero or innocent persons die, or make you jump for joy when the bad guy gets taken out. Say Tom Cruise or whoever the favorite of the day may be the lovable actor. Well directed films capture the mind and involves the viewer's full attention. A funny memory of this was watching a martial arts film where the bad guy drew out such hate from the audience. So much that in the final fight scene, as he was about to be decapitated, a guy sitting in front of us in the theater jumped out of his seat screaming “ Finish Him”! Great film. But in reality, bad guys and good guys are still alive somewhere in Hollywood or Bollywood sipping on mango shakes or being shaken up by some other drink high in shake-up content.

So why did I wake up so early to write this? Because I can relate on two levels, and hopefully share both clearly thru this blog.
Bhagavad Gita explains that for the soul there is neither birth nor death at anytime. He has not come into being, does not come into being, and will not come into being. He is unborn, eternal, ever-existing and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain. As our actors in films die over and over again, and attend premiers over and over again, similarly, the soul (us), having eternal qualities, never die or takes birth. We are spiritual entities in a sort of virtual reality set up by material nature under the Supreme direction of Krsna. Based on our desire and actions, material nature outfits us in specific forms to experience those desires, praising or lamenting as we reap our various orders from nature. Simple explanation of how this works: we put on our virtual goggles called false ego, and equipped with intelligence, mind and senses, we act out various thoughts and desires. Now, best of all, this whole thing is free of charge, and as we act, mother nature accommodates or actions by giving us matching results. Thus we take on different bodies and enjoy or suffer in different situations. Birth can be compared to a recharge station where the soul gets a fresh VR suit to continue with action and reaction in the material realm. Level one, simple explanation.

Next level
In real time, far form Hollywood, as we all identify with our bodies we find that to maintain these bodies we must work. After work we require some recreation or rejuvenation- which the weekend, or specific days off for vacation brings. Naturally we want such moments to last forever- best friends should stay over forever, romance should last eternally, etc etc. But to survive here, we are obliged to work. Vacation allows us to recharge, to reanalyze, to reinvent our motives and desires. And so it is even for monks.
As an aspirant teacher, living and sharing Krsna Consciousness can be very intense. This is the material world and so from one point of view, Spirituality does not belong here. The embodied spirit soul here is apt on enjoying matter and forgetting spirit but the very nature of matter is that it cannot satisfy a spiritual entity. Spiritual practitioners make an effort to reconnect each person to their natural habitat- the spiritual world. Such efforts can be compared to going against the natural flow of things- while everyone goes to external involvements, you turn inwards to experience subtle realms. As Srila Prabhupada puts it, being spiritual in the material world means declaring war on the material energy. War means opposition, casualties, etc. As a spiritual warrior fights, material nature retaliates with weapons like sense objects, mind games (desire for honor and prestige), intellectual and false ego thingies (couldn't find a word to describe it).
To successfully win this battle, good training and good association are most important. Good training involves diligently following the orders of spiritual superiors and good association means mixing with those whose aim is similar and who have similar, or greater resolutions to fight and conquer the mind and senses, and go back to the realm of eternal bliss and knowledge.
Like every battlefield, Hollywood or Material Nature, there is a base; a place where warriors may retreat and regroup, strengthen and recharge. Spiritualists have various stations according to their intensity of involvement in the battle against illusion. For me, that base is Vrindavan; not just a landmark, but also a place in the consciousness rich with spiritual booty gathered by bygone teachers. Booty gained through loving relationships, individual, spontaneous and voluntary service, and reconnection to the ultimate proprietor of both material and spiritual worlds, Krsna.
My hope is to be in Vrindavan for a few months and render wholehearted service to superior generals in this Army. By their grace, some shelter seeking souls may, thru my small efforts, share in the spiritual bounty I may bring back to the battlefield.
We are all invited to take part in this adventure- whosoever will, “Welcome Aboard”.

We're Back in Business

2009-09-11T13:26:00.001-05:00

CAN I GET A WITNESS?

Been traveling through the US all summer and so had little time to write. lets just say it was an amazing time and leave it at that!
But wait...
Kesh is off... back to India which was the reason this blog started in the first place. So in two weeks, I'll have something fun for everyone once a week. For six months.....

Will You Be There ?

2009-06-25T19:30:00.005-05:00

"He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs."

a line from a song I learned as a kid and have actually begun to realize daily. As I learned about the Death of two big superstars in today's world, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, a sense of awe and reverence for the vows I've taken arose.

Vaisnavas are naturally unhappy when they see others unhappy, and in order to direct the general populace to substantial happiness, may risk their own lives even to the point of dying.

Not that I can claim Vaisnava status, but when we come in contact with the knowledge of the spiritual world and all its varieties, its only natural to want to share it with others. The world is definitely saddened by people who entertained them for decades; I'm saddened that they weren't introduced to this knowledge to help them achieve deeper peace at the end. This material world has a way of disillusioning us and if we're attentive, we can get out of its grips and proceed to the eternal abode- not religious sentiment, but a place with actual existence that can be experienced in this life without waiting for death or afterlife. The deeper question is who is willing to do such a service of enlightening a world of people who truly believe that matter can make them happy? I pray to learn from the example of our dear teacher Srila Prabhupada and his sincere students of how to tolerate many inconveniences and give Krsna consciousness to people. Such acts are done out of a deeper sense of love and not of fanatic fear of uncertainty due to attachment to the bodily conception of life.

I must admit it's not easy to try to uplift someone. I experience on a daily basis that people will take to spirituality and use it for their own benefit; their God given right to do so. To associate with the saintly and get their blessings is the most wonderful thing but often when such people are put in testing situations... .

We all love a good party, but what happens when the life of the party, the host, or some other figure is in trouble? We leave them hanging. Very few brave men will try to pull someone out of their ruts; especially someone who may have been in a more elevated position than they. In risking oneself to rescue another, real love develops- a deeper gratitude than can ever be experienced. As the saying goes, we know who our friends are in the time of need.

I'll take the liberty to be sentimental, since I'm only a wee lad on the path of self realization, and post a song that inspired me to be a monk. A song by the King of pop. May he be awarded better privileges in his next life.

There's A Place InYour Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways To Get There
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try We Shall See
In This Bliss We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing AndStart Living
Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...
Heal The World
And The Dream We WereConceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep Strangling Life
Wound This Earth Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow
We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My HeartI Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With No Fear
Together We'll Cry Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords Into Plowshares
We Could Really Get There If You Cared Enough For The Living
Make A Little SpaceTo Make A Better Place...

BACK TO THE START

2009-06-23T06:21:00.003-05:00

I took a walk with a friend yesterday through Point Pleasant Park and while talking to him, I had an interesting realisation about the Spiritual path. He is a very intelligent young man and has been searching for spiritual guidance for some time now, so his questions are quite deep and well thought out. Krsna consciousness gets exciting for me when people genuinely want to understand the subject matter. As I answered each question step by step, more and more questions came up and so the conversation got a little lively. But then I noticed that some of the same questions re-emerged so I suggested to him that in order to grasp the conversation more deeply, he should explain to me what we had just discussed.

For a new person learning our philosophy and associating with monks on a daily basis, this culture can be overloading and due to our instant gratification nature, this is just the place to be- each question answered without a long wait.

However, our teacher His Divine Grace A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami has informed us that Krsna consciousness is not an artificial imposition on the mind- cram it in there and get a grade point, heaven or hell. Krsna consciousness is practical action in the foreground of spiritual life. This knowledge has to be digested just as one meal has to be digested before another meal is taken.

Back to my realisation.

When I first came in contact with this philosophy, My goal was to read as much as possible and catch up with those monks I lived with, especially those who were my age, or who were junior to me. I thought if i just read these books immediately, I would fit in and not be seen as a newbie.

It worked to some extend as far as theoretically, but over the years I have learned to go back and read slowly, in small segments, in order to grasp the subject matter- Krsna, the supreme person, my eternal friend. Quality learning is what Krsna conscious training offers and anyone in the world, regardless of cast or creed should take advantage of Srila Prabhupada's books and there find deep treasures, especially that nectar for which we're always anxious. (HOLLYWOOD)

Oh wait....

Ear to Heart

2009-06-19T07:23:00.004-05:00

I know, I know,

as Jackson would put it... you're not writing much Kesh. What's up

I've been busy.. as the pictures show......

I'm formulating a little series of topics, so it'll be up soon, one after another.

Until then, chant and be happy :)

What We Do 2

2009-05-30T11:45:00.008-05:00

Bhakta Dustin's Birthday cookies and cream, Frisbee after long book distribution, and the every evening hang out with amazinig people deriving great satisfaction and bliss from enlightening one another and conversing about Krishna consciousness and life

In the association of devotees the concept of Nirvesa, loneliness, and Sunyavadi, emptiness seems as possible as getting milk from the tits on the neck of a goat.

What We Do 1

2009-05-30T10:33:00.005-05:00

When I hear about how Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and his associates plundered the storehouse of Love of God, and are distributing the contents to everyone, regardless of cast or creed, I'm reminded of a song my mother taught me back in Africa about sharing and setting an example of sharing that others may try to follow.

Brightly beams Lord Krishna's Mercy

From his lighthouse evermore
But to us he gives the keeping
Of the lights along the shore

Dark the night of sin has settled,

Loud the angry billows roar;

Eager eyes are watching, longing,

For the lights along the shore.

In Halifax, I find many people wanting and eager to understand spiritual life devoid of rigid rules and regulation, but filled with individual voluntary love and devotion. Love means that its not forced; yet in today's world we find religion giving ultimatum to followers- "we're right, follow us or perish." There's definitely more to it than that and we should dare to overstep our boundaries and find out whats going on.

Trim your feeble lamp, my brother;
Some poor sailor, tempest-tossed,
Trying now to make the harbor,

In the darkness may be lost.

Let the lower lights be burning!

Send a gleam across the wave!
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman

You may rescue, you may save.

Of course we're not saviors, but we can all beam the love that has been given to us from that storehouse of Love of God

good day.

WILLING TO FORGIVE. . . ?

2009-04-29T14:42:00.002-05:00

Religion often turns people away because of this humongous guilt trip sitting in the back seat somewhere, backseat driving one to deep alleys of all the bad bad things done in the past, and all the bad bad punishment awaiting in the future. Krishna Consciousness take a more radical approach that sends debates and arguments pouring out like shaken up 7 UP.
In the Bhagavad Gita, 9th Chapter, 30th Verse, amongst a few others, Krishna declares:
Even if one commits the most abominable action, if he is engaged in devotional service he is to be considered saintly because he is properly situated in his determination.
This verse seemingly gives a go-head to any devotee to commit as many abominable actions as possible as long as he stays in devotional service. Kind of a turn off too. Just because I'm a Krishna devotee I can do what I want? Hmm... Elsewhere we find that people who commit abominable actions on the strength of chanting, or raising the "but I'm a devotee" flag, are committing a bigger blunder- one against God Himself!
As I grow up daily, with decisions to make, not just for myself, but now for three new monks travelling with me, I begin to understand a little better and with a little more humility, the nature of the supreme being.
These new devotees, as enthusiastic as they may be, can also be deep cutting with uncultured words and actions and sometimes, more often than not, I'd no sooner opt for a log upside the head than a ready-to-forgive attitude. But as I reflect on what actions to take, the above mentioned verse comes close to home; I was once new too, and also very uncultured. Learning how to act in human society is one of the most amazing challenges I've ever faced and I'm also beginning to broaden that as a matter of fact for most people.
As monks, we live in very close proximity of each other, and often, being individuals, we may not always get along. The Spiritual world, far form Utopian is a realm of individuals with opinions, likes and dislikes, etc etc. This philosophy of spiritual individuality makes the spiritual realm a more amazing place each day.
When in my ready-to-tear-you-apart pre-rage, Bhagavad Gita 9:30 points me out with the greatest question: are you also without sin? Were you not in that same shoe before?
At such times, when called out by God himself, I can only then show that I'm still in the showers heading towards a cleaner me. Forgiving, especially from one in a so called position of authority can lighten the burden we're all struggling to carry- misidentifying with the body. The more we practice excusing, even the most abominable actions of others, the closer we come to Krishna. And often too, subordinates may expect to be led by Superman and Robin Hood. When a younger person forgives an elder, the law of Karma lightens up on us erasing that point in the future when student today may on the morrow have to be teacher.

We know not what the future holds, of marvel or surprise, assured alone that life or death, His mercy underlies.
Just a little thought on healing, there's plenty more.

HOME AGAIN

2009-04-26T10:10:00.003-05:00

The road led ever on and on
from New York with Goura, Sita, Vrindavannath
Haridas etc to Tennessee, then Florida then
Second-hand Van to New Mexico
Via New Orleans, Houston and Dallas
Dead Van got towed from New Mexico
To Tucson where we camped out for a month and a week!
Second-hand Wagon then took us to
San Diego, LA San Jose...
Portland, Salt Lake, Wyoming
Saratoga Hot Springs warmed our bones
After some river in Oregon chilled them
Border Patrol was like one two three
Back to Canada me plus three
Now to more service and what to do
Many more pics and blogs coming for you

More What UP Tos

2009-04-10T08:51:00.003-05:00

UNRAVEL ME

2009-04-10T08:28:00.002-05:00

A few months ago while visiting a friend in a big city, I had a conversation with is roommate, a very bright and open-minded fellow. He seemed a bit unhappy about his move to the city and as we talked I could sense that he was more than happy to let some of his thoughts out of his head.
"When I go to work, I walk pass practically flying ojects. People are so numb; walking towards the daily bread is what we do here."
As a monk travelling and meeting people I often come in contact with this mentality. Human society, as advanced in technology and science as it is now, has also drifted so far from home. We are so enamoured with the struggle for existence brought on by our dependence on external things that we are practically forgetting our very selves.
Personal exchanges have become a rare comoditiy, next to common sense and human etiquette. But what to do eh?
The Spiritual world is known as Vrindavan, I realize, for a special reason. Its full of persons- conscious persons. Although all individuals, they work toward a common goal, the supreme loveable object. In this way, everyone loves the next person and relationships thrive due to that loving exchange. Such a world is not so far from us, although as I walk around I search for it, lost somewhere.... covered by an alien hope that things, not exchanges make one happy.
just some thoughts this morning :)

PHOTOS AND SUCH

2009-03-29T16:45:00.006-05:00

With winter dead and spring just born, three of us monks embarked on a cross-America van tour about 6 weeks ago. Meeting people is my number one thing, but when you're dressed as a monk, meeting people has a special touch to it. Questions and answers are more specific, like the ones Jackson asks, and each time a person leaves with a deeper understanding on life.

We're now in Tucson Arizona at our Temple and this place is, as I've heard a thousand times so far, an oasis right off the busy life of Tucson.

The grounds hold a temple, restaurant, Koi pond, Aviary, garden, and monastery and visitors take advantage of every inch of cultural experience Iskcon Tucson has to offer.

For us travelling from colder to warmer climates, this is very welcome! The African in me cries out for joy every morning as I pace the grounds on my meditation walk. Normally around 4AM its quiet and the gentle breeze calls me to a deeper place- Vrindavan India.

But I'll be back soon; there I can swim in the Yamuna river with the turtles, fish and whoever else making a spiritual journey through those waters.

I've Been Wanting to

2009-03-28T11:18:00.002-05:00

write a little more but
the raod and the internet are two different places
and sometimes they never meet.
Today the met and i met many emails and pokes and friend requests and invitations.
I'll get a camera today and post some pictures while i have a computer available
Florida was fun, didn't see Jackson or Chris or Max, wanted to.
Houston was awesome, Dallas rocked. Rupa has the best family in the world.
Tucson is cool and hot and open minded,
Teaching keeps on and learning keeps on
livng keeps on and the bliss keeps on.
Betsy (the Van) went back to Car head, but fred, the Minivan
is coming soon :)

Climbing Jacob's Ladder

2009-02-28T16:51:00.002-06:00

"... every rung goes higher, higher..."
Often the west is described as an "instant sense gratification" culture and being born in the west, a monk's life poses some interesting challenges. Monastic life is usually meant to be practiced in peaceful settings like cloistered walls as seen in European countries, Temples as seen in Asia or other gatherings of ascetics in different cultures. In each system the monk's goal is to go deeper into understanding his lifestyle as well as presenting it to the general masses. Each monk is encouraged to study, learn and digest the lessons learned, and then present it according to his capacity.
For me, the gift of easily making friends with others has been a great strength, and for those inclined to asceticism, I serve as an ice breaker, a person who tries to show the lifestyle in practice. To accomplish this means to be where people are but my true goal isn't to recruit monks; rather I want to develop deep friendships with others who are truly loving their life choices. If during that course of human interaction I meet persons interested in my lifestyle I serve as a small guide toward this lifelong decision into monasticism. Yet I am awed by some friends I know who spend a lot of time in nature hiking and exploring all she has to display from God's unfathomable art room. The level of friendship I want to develop with people is one of genuine respect for each person's calling as well as the humility to learn for such persons principles they live by.
The world in itself requires deeper and higher journeys in whatever one may do. To be a successful anybody means to act with deeper love and enthusiasm in that field. For monks, or devotees of Krishna in general, our goal is to develop unalloyed love for the Supreme Personality of Godhead. At first one may have the needed faith to "begin" the bhakti yoga process which leads to association of others who have similar interests, some on the same level, some newer in understanding and others advanced on the path. From association one begins to act more seriously which then causes unwanted desires in the heart to weaken and ultimately disappear, leaving one fixed in his determination and develop a deeper taste attachment and ultimately pure unalloyed devotion.
I am traveling at the moment with four other students and the task of presenting this philosophy purely that I am not only speaking, but more importantly acting properly as shown by my predecessors. More specific details will come as our journey to learn and share Krishna Consciousness with all.

Greater Love Each Man Should

2009-02-22T18:42:00.003-06:00

A monastic life is one of intense study, reflection and proper dispensation after due digestion of what has been learned. On a daily basis we have lectures, open to all, discussing verses from the Srimad Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita which can last from ten minutes to five hours, depending on the speaker or audience. Today was a good discussion, lasting for two hours unfolding with eye opening questions and answers, sobering moments, and heated pure straight talk.
The Verse and Purport was Srimad Bhagavatam 1.1.10: "O learned one, in this iron age of Kali men have but short lives. They are quarrelsome, lazy, misguided, unlucky and, above all, always disturbed."

One of the questions asked by one of my students was why the process of self realization seem so foreign and difficult. The answer was simple but deep as we went through the verse and purport: because no one told us about it.
Self Realization involves an active decision to refrain the senses from their sense objects and engage oneself in higher duties for his, as well as the spiritual benefit of humanity at large. To become a competent teacher means becoming a good student- controlling the senses, learning culture, humility, tolerance, and many other virtues which develop over a course of time. But the fact is no one told any of us, especially westerners that this sort of deeper life is available to anyone and everyone. Not necessarily for all to become ascetics, but for all to have access to the reasoning behind a person's decision to leave secular society and dedicate himself to rigid principles.
These principles can be practiced by all, regardless of occupational work. For example, no one ever recommends celibacy with good educated reasoning behind it, or abstinence from intoxication, meat eating and gambling given with practical explanations. Growing up was such an interesting feat for me; I always knew that I wanted to pursue monastic life, but as grade 6 came along, a big ugly face stared at me. It was the face of peer pressure: you just couldn't remain a virgin past 6 grade. And the reasoning- semen will spill out of every part of your body at any time and so now was the time to learn about sex life in order to prevent embarrassment when you a). coughed, b). sneezed, or c) cried. If you had too much semen after 6th grade, your body could let it out at anytime and any place thus exposing you to everyone as a virgin.
What a hellish experience it was for many young kids going into their teens; and then came 18, 19 or 21, if not earlier, when you then have to drink yourself silly in order to really be considered a normal person. Luckily I escaped that phase by the mercy of the devotees who accepted me into the monastery.

There I learned that Celibacy was good for you! The semen, or fountain of youth would be well preserved to give one stronger brain cells, sharper intuition and finer tissues in the body, especially with proper diet and hygiene. One monk told me once that God gave men two heads, with only enough blood to be used by one at any given time. So someone who was addicted to sex life only willingly spilled out his vital life while someone who preserved, or used his blood for his brains, actually experienced deeper pleasures from higher levels of consciousness. Abstinence also made makes one more potent when he does decide to father offspring who may not be so susceptible to disease due to weak immune systems.
And on went the conversation this morning...
We talked about the futility of gambling, whether in Vegas or at 7 Eleven, and how people are led like donkeys following carrots dangling from a stick tied over their heads- always going forward for that sweet carrot but never really taking a real bite of it. And whoever told you that meat eating was one of the causes behind loneliness, wars and other negative things going on in society? Yes. As the saying goes, you are what you eat. Animals live in fear of each other and therefore defend their dear lives by living in hiding in tall trees or deep holes and burrows. When we eat such creatures who die in fear, what should we expect- a world where every man is after the others well being? I'll let your mind go off on this topic for yourself, or email me and we can discuss.
The conclusion of class was this: greater love has no man than to use his life, intelligence, wealth, and whatever else he may have for the benefit of another. When we educate people out of love, they will sense that love and try to make life more pleasant around them. A monks' life is dedicated to this service for humanity at large- teaching and telling what no one else took the time to tell or teach.

On the Road Again

2009-02-19T17:43:00.004-06:00

OK.
I'm back thanks to another push from Jackson. "Whats going on in YOUR life Kesh?" Just some "monkin' business? Do tell..."
So, the winter months just totally kicked my robes, I've taken two more monks under my care; or more like I get to think I'm the boss every now and then. Luckily, in our philosophy we're all loving servants of each other and ultimately, of the Supreme Lovable, Krishna. Training new monks, adventures with the police in Bible Belt villes, giving lectures, cooking a lot- especially this of late love affair with corn bread and fried okra...
Most of all I've been growing within. Looking at the world around me and wanting to share a simplier space and time with each individual I meet has awakened in me a need to go out on the road and share this wonderful time with as many others as possible.
The order Given five hundred years ago By Lord Caitanya was to make every living being fortunate by giving them a glimpse of India's spiritual wisdom. When I look at the western world and all its development in terms of technology, or science or whatever other craze people are after, yet still unsatisfied, I can't help but wonder how, the people of this so called third world place are so happy! Its an inner satisfaction I see when walking around the villages of Vraj. And then it dawns on me. This is what has been given to me, a true sense of peace; one that I'm now obliged to share with whoever I meet, whereever I may meet them. So come next week I'm on the road, and meeting and sharing is what I plan to do.
Hope this is a good start Jackson... I'll write more soon. I'll be back on track in no time. Twice a week, something new.
Just consider me coming out of hybernation at the moment.
And guess what? First stop... In your neigbhorhood.

Bringing It Home

2009-01-19T08:04:00.002-06:00

A few days ago a friend who follows my blog and whose adventurous love for the great outdoors wrote ma a nice note about goings on in his life. He mentioned that he enjoys reading my blog but get little knowledge about my actual life from them. So after careful consideration I decided to write today on why I chose a monastic life. Of course there are many paths and individuals following those paths, but for this blog I'll stick to the Krishna Consciousness Movement and my, as well as some others' involvement in it.

The hope of a parent is to see that their child is educated, and happy in life, and some, if they could, would try as hard as possible to shield their children's innocence form time. My innocence was broken at an early age, 6 years old, as Politicians in my country staged coups and imposed curfews on the citizens during their fight to the top of the mountain and occupy some post. Again, on my eleventh birthday, the civil war that lasted for more than 10 years in Liberia began. I quickly put away my toys and became mother's helper, making sure everything went smoothly in running our household, now also joined by other family and friends whose areas had been severely affected by war. As time went by I was practically and adult before 15 and my dreams of becoming a Franciscan monk was fading away as the mode of life, keeping your head above water, crept in. Then something else threatened- recruitment of child soldiers, which urged my Father to bring me to the US to live with him.

My father had a zillion plans for my life and worked hard to give me a comfortable means for studying and then realizing his dreams for me. But mother had taught me to make decisions I will live with for the rest of my life and blame no one later for "making me" live a life I didn't want to. In America thanks to the Media, the lives of everyone was an already opened book or a book waiting to be opened by some luck of the draw act- win the lottery and you're on TV; Save a dog from drowning, blow up buildings, molest someone- anyone could be famous in an instant. I also watched my dad struggle daily as he drove from New Jersey to New York to work and then on the weekends spend most of his time on the sofa in front of Headline News pouring in with more and more negative things happening in the world. From my own experience, children are impressionable and so I began to really question the dream my dad had for me vs the monastic life I wanted to lead since I was 5. What kind of culture was this where people worked so hard 11 and a half months out of the year for two weeks of vacation where they spend their hard earnings on Jack Daneils, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, Jose Quervo and a T-shirt that says they did?

In Africa I lived in a community with Jews, Hindus, Christians, and Muslims shared everything. Once I asked my mom why we had so many mixed bowls and plates and she mentioned that if I wanted a complete set of china, I had to go and retrieve them from the neighbors. But I also couldn't take their bowls and plates back empty. Here, I saw a deep resentment of individuals based on externals- religion, skin color, this, that, etc.

So when I came across Four Krishna monks and two nuns on a busy day in Seattle, I had to dig deeper. I visited them almost daily for three weeks straight trying to understand why 25 people lived so happily sharing rooms in a house meant for maybe 6 people. Why were they so peaceful? Why was I not satisfied although I was earning and living as I desired- or more as I had fallen into the pattern of living. Talking with some of them was even more incredible! These were young men and women from well-to-do families who just didn't find satisfaction in their daily life course and so dared to do the extraordinary. Of course their families freaked out beyond reason; got cut out of wills, others "deprogrammed" back into the "normalcy" of society, and others who had everything, like on monk who lived with his mother in Beverly Hills in a mansion, just decided to move into such a situation.

So why did i do it? For me, sharing things with people was natural in my upbringing, I shared a bedroom with bunk beds occupied by my brothers and the best part, the music, was something I did everyday with my Mother and Step-Father. When my mom would come home after work, in the evenings she would sit on the porch with my Step father and sing songs they learned from their parents, for Church, or from growing up amongst friends. So when the monastery came alive at 4:30 am with Songs of the Spiritual Master, I was more than happy to Join in. Also the topic of God was not doctrine but very practical- we have a relationship with God, Krsna as he's called in Vedic thought, and to show our love for him, we did something for him. Just as I saw my mom cooking and sharing with the Neighbors, or many guests coming over on the weekends to spend the day in our yard on the beach, or other personal dealings, Service to God then means that He is a person and doing things in the association of devotees shows love for Him. We, in the monastery also came from various religious or nonreligious backgrounds. We developed great friendships with each other based on service to a common goal, we protected each other and cultivated each other. This was nothing like I had seen as a result of the Civil wars or my introduction to America. More interestingly, people in the war were before very close friends, and due to intoxication of power, were now hunting each other down.

Come see a world that's filled with pain

broken homes and scavenges

where hatred and strife

seems not to cease

where children laugh and play

as kids together

then grow as men and fight

to kill their pals.

Where friends betray each other and then sing "Soul rest in Peace" -

I had to change my world, even if it meant sleeping in a sleeping bag next to five or five hundred people with that same goal. I prefer living simply with a small bowl of Good healthy food, than a fridge supply of junk, filling the empty gap of satisfaction in the body with food prepared by a machine or someone who takes the place of the machine, does his job, care nothing about you, but cares about his paycheck at the close of the week. When mother made food, it was infused with her conscious love for her children and this same, or even better conscious was in the minds of the cooks in the monastery. No pay, just love for those you live with and a desire to see them satisfied eating food offered in Love to Krsna.

In this realm I live in now, no one who deeply understands this Krishna Conscious philosophy lives to exploit anyone else. We're learning daily that Love means self sacrifice, and knowledge of the Supreme Person is very vast. Not limited to cast or creed. When a person lives without fear- without feeling threatened by the next person, then human life becomes a grand vehicle to drive us to our ultimate goal- to build a world where God is real and we are real and our relationship between God, man, and nature is harmonious :)

Good Morning. Hare Krishna.

AT SECOND GLANCE (free writing)

2009-01-13T10:17:00.006-06:00

Although I hate the cold like anything, sometimes mother nature puts on such awesome shows that I can't help but stand outside and marvel.
On my way to the temple one morning I was fortunate to look up and see about three shooting stars; another time on a full moon night tons of deer were playing around in the yard, which was super cool because from where I stood I could see little deer silhouettes running and jumping around the yard. My favorite was two mornings ago when I walked out to go to the temple. I seriously though i was walking upside down!
There was frost everywhere and the place was a bit dark, but the ground was tinkling, reflecting the light from the sky. It was like stars on the floor and stars up above and for a moment I thought someone slipped me happy drugs while I slept.
But all this is Krsna's doing. When I think of the phrase "God is great", I remember these simple things or the amazing people i meet on this spiritual journey. Beauty is everywhere and at anytime, and one just needs to pause awhile:
pause awhile pause awhile
in the humdrum of the city
and behind the cloistered wall
in the early morning
when the shadows start to fall
to see creation bending to the maker o fit all
and all you have to do is pause awhile
(learned that when i was growing up, can't remember where, but still remember it)

If you can get hold of a copy of the Bhagavad- gita and read through he tenth chapter, you'll be amazed how easy it is to remember Krsna- in everything.
Like any artist with his or her specific style and character, Krsna, with but a spark of his splendor pervades this cosmic art show.
Foolish ones may think that all this just popped out of nowhere,
but as a monk, most of my time si spend in deep thought, even while acting.
So here's a thought: apparently it took millions and billions of years for evolution to get us where we are now. OK I respect that. But why then doest it take seconds now, to see a few shooting stars, or moon cycles and seasons? when did everything become so organized? And if its all randomly acting, why should i trust the weatherman?

Hmmmmm...
But the world i see today is one where people aren't allowed to think about whats not set before them as the status quo. Take a few moments and people watch- its like a robot show. Some being hauled off to here or there, others relaxing from the haul, etc. A friend once reminded me that "everyone else except you monks, have to work for their living, you know."
So there's this almost unspoken consensus that monks don't work. OK then, I might say, when was the last time you stood up from being pushed around?
"I'm not pushed around" might be the respond.
Do you get hungry, thirsty, horny, angry?
"these are human, natural human happenings" might come another response.
So then, why do people strive SO hard for happiness? Its also Natural, like other urges. So far in life I've come across no one who looks forward to being unhappy. No one wants to die, no one wants to get old. Are they all now "Natural"
I've come to understand that these are "Natural" for the body;but the embodied, is of a different nature. That nature one can come to understand when one rises above and conquers these other "natural" habits forced upon is due to our present illusory state of being. So whats a monks job?
Learning to rise above these urges, rising above these urges, and then teaching others how to do the same :)
Quite contrary form the world where selfish ism is the norm. Whats mine is mine, and I won't you be as good as I am.
So visit us monks more often and learn ways of old. learn to rise and see the free light and the spirit. learn to be rare.
IMHO

ABANDON SHIP

2009-01-07T18:23:00.003-06:00

The merry go round is picking up speed as the fuel of survival is poured into the fire of life.
Wake up, shower if you have time, if none, arm and hammer your underarm, gel your hair, smell for the freshest clothes in the pile and off you go. Your mind was at school before you got there, you already heard the teacher say what he just said, about what you'll never use when you get out of here, but who cares, when all this is done you'll be taking a break for a few minutes. The break was gone before you got there because you mind took it to your next class you'll have in an hour so you sit for a second to watch the world go by. She's cute, maybe I should talk to her, but the clothes you have on warn you that she might not wanna talk so you wait for tomorrow when you'll be all dressed up! before tomorrow comes your mind already fell in love and had the best time with the girl you saw on the break your mind took ahead of you- now you're preparing to dump her... whats her name again? So class is over and you head on home completely exhausted to do anything else because your mind just did ten million things you didn't get to experience. So you sit in front of the TV, no facebook, maybe you have an email or a post from that friend you haven't texted in-oh, 45 seconds? So you flip the channel, check facebook myspace and feel hungry. But the kitchen is 10 feet away and thats too far! AHHHHHHH

so you sit in slow motion as the world goes by fast trying to catch up with your mind who's now back in bed calling you but you still have to do that homework. So you start the homework which take a few hours in human time and a few ages in mind land and then its time to sleep. But you're hungry so you make something finally but then while eating you get a text from so and so to come to so and so party. I really should sleep you think but what will that friend think about you if yo sleep? So you smell more clothes, but it doesn't matter cuz you're going to be in an atmosphere where the smoke and everything else hides the smell. But did I mention how awesome and good you look today?
so its midnight and you really
should leave now cuz
you're feeling a
little sleepy
but
that cute girl from
earlier just showed up
so maybe you should talk to her now.....
Her boyfriends at the party! Dammmmm
ABANDON SHIP ! ! !

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

WITH THE AIM OF

2009-01-02T08:14:00.000-06:00

nana-sastra-vicaranaika-nupunau sad-dharma-samsthapakau
lokanam hita-karinau tri-bhuvane manyau saranyakarau
radha-krsna-padaravinda-bhajanandena mattalikau
vande rupa-sanatanau raghu-yugau sri-jiva-gopalakau

I offer my respectful obeisances unto the Six Goswamis, namely Sri Rupa Goswami, Sri Sanatana Goswami, Sri Raghunath Bhatta Goswami, Sri Raghunath dasa Goswami, Sri Jiva Goswami and Sri Gopal Bhatta Goswami, who are very expert in scrutinizingly studying all the revealed scriptures with the aim of establishing eternal religious principles for the benefit of all human beings. Thus they are honored all over the three worlds, and they are worth taking shelter of because they are absorbed in the mood of the gopis and are engaged in transcendental loving service of Radha and Krsna.

As 2008 said goodbye I sat with a friend and talked about culture- by gone cultures like the Maya, Aztec and Vedic. We talked about how little is known about the Aztec and Maya, and how the Vedic knowledge, although still available, is normally presented from a historical, and often myth oriented point of view. History does show, as far as Maya and Aztec are concerned, through the art and architecture they left behind, that they were quite cultured and advanced people. The Vedic science of living, although still available today usually reaches the west in a very watered down form. Yoga, Ayurveda and Vastu have all entered mainstream as people today look for pieces from the past to better shape the future of mankind.
One of the topics we agreed on is the fact that the vedic knowledge isn't a "do-it-yourself" kind of knowledge. Everything in that system was presented by qualified teachers to qualified students. Society was set up in such a way that the welfare of every being was met. The intellectuals guided the administrators ,who gave protection to the merchants, and in turn the merchants provided for their employees, their protectors and the teachers who guided them all. A person was not qualified by birth, as mistaken today, but by ones natural actions. For example the son of a warrior wasn't born a warrior, but trained up to be. And if during training it was found that this boy had a natural tendency towards intellectual pursuits, mercantile , or other talents, he was then trained in that particular field. So naturally everyone had something to do in vedic culture; no one was homeless or jobless.
The culture was not only occupationally minded, but also spiritually oriented with gradual developmental knowledge for the individual. A young person was thought the principles of respect, responsibility, truthfulness etc, but most of all self control. Control of the senses and mind was very important in going deeper into spiritual realms. Later in life, usually around 25, a young person entered family life and used the principles previously learned. At 50, knowing that death was approaching soon, husband and wife would then focus on the deeper and highest goal in life, freedom from the bondage of matter and reinstatement into ones eternal constitutional position.
During this part of the conversation we laughed a lot about how puffed up modern man has become with the audacity to claim that such cultures as the Maya or Vedic were primitive and how advanced we are now because of our advancement in "science". One example given was how those cultures existed for many thousands of years and left historical monuments and art that still baffle scholars today. Not only did they build or write or live a wholesome life, they also left the earth practically more beautiful than they met it. In our few hundred years here, our monuments often depict wars and struggles, and our exploitation of mother earth hasn't left her lush and green, rather bored with spots of land fill, plastic waste in the oceans- you name it.

I told an historical account from the Vedas of how gold and silver were offered as gifts to the priests who performed great sacrifices for the benefit of society, yet the priests, satisfied in themselves would leave the paraphernalia where they were. Imagine leaving heaps of gold ornaments and other things in an arena or by the road today... . Everyone was provided for so well, that no one was in need of anything. At functions, or even simple house parties, guests were served with gold or silver plates, and the women were ornamented with diamonds, gold and silver, plus other earthen perfumes. Compared to today's advancement, we kill for gold, eat in glassware, and that's if you can afford it, or plastic, paper and other things that harm the human body and our women now wear plastic ornaments as decorations.
As mentioned before, yoga, amongst other art forms are becoming a prominent part of society today. But the fact is that yoga now, doesn't elevate people to higher consciousness, rather it keeps them on a more bodily platform, with capitalistic minds even providing interesting clothes for yoga lifestyle people. Did sages of bygone ages were tight spandex outfits in a heated room in downtown Delhi? Was yoga for reducing bodily fat? Hmmmmm...
Ayurveda was not meant for curing illnesses, but more for preventing them through a strict dietary and physical lifestyle. In our advanced culture today, we've created cures for cancer and other deadly diseases; but to be honest we've also created the diseases. We live in a lazy culture: work now involves sitting for hours in front of a computer in a building without good lighting, food consists of things I will not write about, and to top it all, the stress of it all drives us to the next whiskey bar to drown our troubles. When that doesn't work, SEX :)
To avoid the responsibility of sex life, which nature designed for procreating beings who can continue the task of honoring and preserving mother earth, we, by out expertise invented the condom. Yes, spill your life out in a plastic. And when you do want a child, the same pills taken to prevent the responsibility of pregnancy then, now hampers you from having children. In short, we are advancing to a quick demise rather than something the future can look back on and learn form.
So, going back to the first prayer in of this blog, we humbly thank those monks who, 500 years ago foresaw the issues of today and scrutinizingly give the essence of Vedic knowledge that we may qualify ourselves and honor human life as it is meant to be honored. Furthermore, we thank Our Grand Spiritual Teacher His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, who brought the teachings of the six Goswamis from Vrindavan to the shores of America, China, Europe and everywhere else we have temples today. I urge the readers of this article to take advantage of these temples and learn how to live peacefully and happily, and look forward to another year of properly learning rather than blindly following what is the status quo.
Happy New Year

BE HAPPY WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR

2008-12-16T10:38:00.001-06:00

For my next series of blogs I'll tell a story with a moral. People are naturally simple and can grasp great lessons out of simple stories, dramatic performances and folk song. Many indigenous cultures around the world still gather around and hear stories or sing songs that tell of how their ancestors overcame some tribulation or won some prize. As a child my mother would tell us many bedtime traditional stories, and for those who have spent some time with me at monasteries I've stayed at, you know that I may sometime retell a few of those stories.

Like the previous story about the mouse and the sage, we find another mouse and another sage, but this time, with a lesson of satisfaction with whatever little we may possess.

A very renounced sage lived in a cottage by the river with only a water pot and two Kaupins (monk loincloth) to his name. He'd wear one pair of underwear today and wash the previously used one and in this way, he had very little to worry about and enough time for deeper self realization. As time went by he began to notice that a mouse had been gnawing on his hanging kaupin and was creating tiny holes in it. To protect his underwear from further damage by the mouse he decided to get a cat. So a neighbor happily gave him a cat and the mouse was never seen again.

But the cat came with all its requirements- it needed milk.

So he got another gift, a cow, who needed to be milked and cared for.

"I need a wife to help me do all this", he thought.

So came the wife, a beautiful lass from the village. the cow was daily cared for and milked, the cat was fed, the rat refused to come and bother the kaupin, which had been thrown away and a new wardrobe replaced it, just to please his wife.

Now the wife had her needs; a nice house, kids, and other things that would make them seem like a normal family and avoid bad talk from the neighbors.

As the struggle began to fulfil all these desires-desires of others, the sage began to reflect: " I was happy in that hut until that mouse came along, and just to save my stupid underwear I now have everything else but the underwear".

************************************************************************

Again, there's so much to be learned from this story, but for me the most important is to be satisfied with whatever little one may have. The bigger the need, the bigger the problem. In this realm of matter where we struggle to exist, there will always be some difficulty. Either your mind will give you trouble, other living entities like tiny mosquitoes or mice will give trouble, or mother nature herself in the form of hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis, to name a few.

Bhagavad Gita explains that true knowledge means to recognize these issues and then rise above them to a higher platform. From that higher platform called Brahma Bhuta, one can truly experience real spiritual bliss. The first experience on this platform is called prasanatma- transcendental happiness or spiritual satisfaction. Once satisfied then na socati na kanksati- no hankering for mundane things and no lamentation over the loss of mundane things. Next the satisfied spiritualist begins to see things with an equal vision- he begins to see the true spiritual nature behind everything, and the reason everything in this material world is so placed. At that time, mad bhaktim labhate param- he begins to perform only spiritual activities meant for the benefit of not just himself, but every living being.

Spiritual life teaches us to be satisfied and accept whatever our lot may be.

Material life means always hankering for things, not being fulfilled by those things and then hankering for more. But if we look at history, its hard to find a person living a life dedicated to satisfying the senses who can honestly admit actual satisfaction with what they have. Things can always be better; the grass is always greener on the other side.

But why do we hanker? Whats the root cause?

The Vedic knowledge tells us that the reason we look for satisfaction or happiness is not some abnormal thing- we're by nature pleasure seeking entities. The only problem is that we're seeking lasting pleasure or satisfaction from that which by nature cannot give it. Our very existence as eternal spiritual beings is now in an atmosphere of non-existence.

Krishna consciousness is the process by which we can find out about our real nature, experience that nature, and stay on that platform!

MOUSE ! AGAIN ?!

2008-12-04T07:01:00.000-06:00

After some time of writer's block syndrome a student from the University of Tennessee suggested that I write about the United States hegemony. I had never before heard such a word, so i inquired from him and was enlightened. Hegemony deals with one nation as world power and others bowing down before them and surrendering all the goods (my definition). Michael wanted to hear from a monk's point of view so what follows is a humble attempt to shed some light from the Vedic point of view.
A mouse once approached a saintly person and implored his help complaining that a cat was hunting him down.
"What can I do for you, young mouse?"
"Make me a cat."
"So be it."
The new cat happily left, never to be bothered by another cat ever again until...
"What can I do for you this time, dear cat", the sage inquired.
"Dogs! Dogs are chasing me."
"Well, I'll help in whatever way I can."
"I- ... want to be a dog."
"OK, that's easy. So be it."
Young Mr. Dog happily barked and ran back to town to fearlessly face those other dogs.
No sooner had he left, and the sage started his meditation, the dog hurried back with breathless speed.
"Yes?"
"A tiger is chasing after me. Make me a tiger and no one will ever hunt me down again!"
"Sure", said the sage and with a wave of his hand, the dog transformed into a huge tiger, stronger than any other. But this time the tiger wouldn't leave. He stared hungrily at the sage.
"So, you want to eat me?"
"y..e..s", came the licking reply.
The angry sage then roared back a the tiger, "Again become a mouse!"

(This Monk's Purport)

This little story from the niti sastras (moral stories), clearly shows nature of man in his greed feature. America, as well as many other empires started with simple missions- form a country based on religious principles. "In God We Trust" and "Allah is greatest" became the fuel for their fire. The mouse-like pilgrims, having escaped oppression from waning tiger-dog-cat-like empires found greener pastures and gradually rose to their own power levels. Now with tiger strength, and a greater appetite for sense gratification, these once mice creatures try desperately to kill God , but keep his blessings to become tigers.
In their intoxicated state, they promote the slaughter or the animals they were given dominion over, degrade and continue to abuse and disrespect women and children and as they fight to conquer more and more land, those subordinate to them suffer the most. Any simpleton can predict the outcome of such actions, for history repeats itself. Sodom, Gomorrah, Egypt, Greece, India, Rome, and many others lay as examples of once high and mighty, and now low and gone. Unless people begin to educated themselves properly and understand one fact- the Supreme father hood of God, the Mother hood of nature and the Children hood of humanity at large, one can only expect to see millions of rising and falling empires.
This hard struggle for existence on top can be remedied by a simple understanding- everything animate and inanimate in this manifestation is owned and operated by the Supreme.
When we exploit nature too much due to our puffed up attitude, she shows her greater strengths through disasters like earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes etc.
In true brotherhood we can all share our father's property . yes, we all are different; different clothes, different cultures- but this keeps life beautiful.
In Vedic literature God is known by many names, but Krishna tops them all. Krishna means the all attractive personality. Why, because he's all beautiful, Adonai, All Mighty, Allah, the most Intelligent, Buddha and the highest Anointed person, Christ. Every attractive, or unattractive quality in us can be found in full in God in his absolute feature as Krishna. When we break apart the Absolute godhead, and Choose to only show one part of his personality, we will run into trouble. One who sees God as All Might (Allah), will try to conquer worlds depending on the all mightiness of God. Such a man will meet with defense from others who see the Anointed (Christ) or the Intellectual (Buddha) . History, again has shown all of this.
In conclusion, I humbly recommend those reading this journal to take advantage of the storehouse of Vedic knowledge beginning with the Bhagavad-gita and understand the essential thread that runs through all of us. As humans, regardless or caste and creed, religion or region, we can all learn something form these literatures and live on the human platform rather than the tiger or dog platform. Unity in diversity will bring about lasting peace wherever we may be. Until then, we can all pray for the protection of the Supremely powerful sage against cats, hogs, dogs, camels tigers or asses.

UNDER PROPER GUIDANCE

2008-12-01T16:59:00.000-06:00

Srila Prabhupada's garden gave us entrance into another realm as Nandu, Mirabhai Goura and I walked in that summer day in LA. It was that time of the year again; the Festival of the Chariots was over, and a few of us locals had time to hang out together. The garden has always been my favorite place in LA and to be there with good friends made it all the more special.

Mira had come in with a basket of flowers to make garlands for the next day's offering tot he Dieties, Nandu had taken the harmonium from the temple after the noon arati and was playing some mid-day tunes next to Srila Prabhupada's sitting place. Goura stood on the other side of the water fountain and did a few bharatanatyum moves to "Yasomati nandana" while I, goofing off as usual, tried to follow her every move until she finally agreed to teach me the "real" moves.

Then it dawned on me- Srila Prabhupada's presence was there! And all of us were engaged in something connected to Krishna. Mira making garlands, Nandu singing, Goura teaching me.

This wasn't like the spiritual world, this WAS the spiritual world. Made possiible by Srila Prabhupada's mercy, we were all engaging our consciousness at that moment in relation to Krishna.

Every now and then I think about that day and wonder when that day will come when such an event will happen 24 hours. The energy was unreal, and I was in a space where everyone there with me was perfectly engaged.

The kingdom of heaven, or better yet the Village of heaven is a village of consciousness. That transcendental realm is available to anyone regardless of caste or creed and I am convinced with every passing day that we can all get there even in this lifetime, while in this body, under proper guidance :)

KRSNA SURYA SAMA

2008-11-13T15:35:00.000-06:00

So far as a monk I've learned:

When there is sunshine, the glow-worms will never come out.

The spiritual realm is full of even more variety than the material realm

Krsna is God in his highest and most lovable form- as Krsna, he's not judging, creating, making rules, just engaging in loving pastimes with his devotees.

He who owns everything, with no reason to want anything more, is the most respectful when it comes to our independence, and the most grateful when we simply offer a leaf, flower, fruit or water.

What we think we know in this body is a mustard seed compared to what we actually know in our true forms.

Material life is futile, it comes to an end, and is temporary- just when you're ready to truly enjoy it, its old or gone.

we guard our credit cards better than ourselves,

in the material world, its all a bit of history repeating- same script different cast, or same cast, same script, different costumes

birth is harder than death. Birth takes months and days and hours, death takes a moment.

as the sun rises and sets another day is gone and cannot be regained, except for one on the transcendental plane

etc etc etc

Keep the Krsna sun always shining and the darkness of illusion will never come to you.

A RICH HARVEST

2008-11-05T10:31:00.000-06:00

And yet others say that You appeared to rejuvenate the devotional service of hearing, remembering, worshiping and so on in order that the conditioned souls suffering from material pangs might take advantage and gain liberation. - Queen Kunti

I just arrived at Murari Sevaka, our farm in Tennessee and as we drove along the way from the airport to the farm the marvel of fall can only pull the sentiments out of a hard heart like mine. Clouds rarely pass over this place, and the sun lights every color with vibrancy. The temple is warm and cozy and the saffron- colored walls at once invites one to pause awhile in front of the altar and appreciate the dazzling effulgent Lords Nitai and Gauracandra. Last night was a hard to sleep one- every star was out! This morning meditation as done with the sound of firewood cracking in the fireplace, cymbals chiming and Mrdanga drum rhyming.

I believe this is what nature intends to give to us along with the gift of a human form. But how we appreciate and reciprocate is up to us. For the farm, its abundance in natural beauty is also highlighted with the harvest of fruit and vegetables this year. Less than half an acre was used to plant cabbage, broccoli, eggplants, tomatoes and peppers. Today after giving so much away, we're still left with four huge boxes (you can fit two microwaves into these boxes) of apples. Then there's about three big Hare Krishna size (we cook for many a lot) silver bowls of tomatoes, three medium silver bowls of peppers ranging from hottest to green bells. I see eggplants too. Of course nothing can grow without the help of other "natural" inhabitants. There weren't enough broccoli or cabbage because we had visitors- groundhogs! The deer couldn't take part in it because there was a fence this time to save the vegetables from previous year's deer dinner parties.

Now, think about all that can be made- pickles, salsas, dehydrated (which I'm doing as I write) stuff, and applesauce. Yum! Oh and did I mention somewhere in a previous blog about the fresh milk? Yup, we get milk fresh from the cows at the Amish farm.

So then my question is why would any sane person exploit nature who produces and provides all this- on less than half an acre of land?! This is Krsna's actual plan for those who wish to understand the value of human life. All is provided for, live simple and peacefully and think highly, high about our next and hopefully final destination, the Spiritual world.

So as the verse above mentioned, the main thing to do in the human form is to hear about, remember and worship the Supreme Lord who is directing the provision of all these gifts. Imagine how much more can be had. But no, one might say, I'm young, the city calls, university calls with thousands of college "chicks" to pick from. I can now join the commuters in my own motor casket and wait for that danger which is apparently at every step. And who says I'm stressed? i just like cigarettes, they make me look cool eh? So just mind your business and I'll mind mine. Every thing's Jim cracking dandy! (I'm loosing my mind, hungry, tired, anxious and insecure, who could ask for anything more?)

But sweet dreams ARE made of this- simple living- high thinking, starry nights and dehydrators, valleys and firewood all these things WILL do you good. And no, you don't have to be like me, just live like me :) You're welcome to.

C U R I O U S I T Y

2008-10-29T05:07:00.000-05:00

My adventures in monastic life all started with this poem by Alastair Reed.

Please indulge...

Curiousity

may have killed the cat; more likely

the cat was just unlucky, or else curious

to see what death was like, having no cause

to go on licking paws, or fathering

litter on litter of kittens, predictably.

Nevertheless, to be curious

is dangerous enough. To distrust

what is always said, what seems

to ask odd questions, interfere in dreams,

leave home, smell rats, have hunches

do not endear cats to those doggy circles

where well-smelt baskets, suitable wives, good lunches

are the order of things, and where prevails

much wagging of incurious heads and tails.

Face it. Curiosity

will not cause us to die--

only lack of it will.

Never to want to see

the other side of the hill

or that improbable country

where living is an idyll

(although a probable hell)

would kill us all.

Only the curious have, if they live, a tale

worth telling at all.

Dogs say cats love too much, are irresponsible,

are changeable, marry too many wives,

desert their children, chill all dinner tables

with tales of their nine lives.

Well, they are lucky. Let them be

nine-lived and contradictory,

curious enough to change, prepared to pay

the cat price, which is to die

and die again and again,

each time with no less pain.

A cat minority of one

is all that can be counted on

to tell the truth. And what cats have to tell

on each return from hell

is this: that dying is what the living do,

that dying is what the loving do,

and that dead dogs are those who do not know

that dying is what, to live, each has to do.

RIPE FRUIT AFTER GREEN

2008-10-19T05:49:00.000-05:00

In an effort to understand Krishna Consciousness i embarked on one of my "inner conversations", but this time I wrote it down in my journal. Whats the meaning of Krishna Consciousness? Why am I not on the Highest platform everyday; sometimes up, sometimes below down? Here are some thoughts.

Krishna Consciousness means to be conscious always of Krishna- his activities, desires, mysterious nature, workings etc, and not conscious of what one wants to see Krishna fulfil in one's life. Often, we act and then wait for a response and when nothing happens as we expected, we lose a bit of enthusiasm. Rest assure, Krishna will answer, but on his own time. Everyone will be drenched in the nectar flowing from the benediction moon when that time comes. And such a time will be according to person, time, place and circumstance.

We are to become devotees of Krishna, not vice -versa, although Krishna is completely sold out to us.

Passionate nature waits frantically, but be still- and know that Krishna is God.

Yes, as minute independents souls, little controllers, we want to have a say in the results of our actions but the ultimate path is to do as Krishna desires and leave the result up to him.

The case of Arjuna is a good example; through all his questioning, Krishna requests him to just be an instrument at Kuruksetra- the work of destroying the warriors assembled there had already been done. Similarly in our case, Lord Caitanya's distribution of Love of God to every entity will be done; we just have to act as instruments. He is the director we actors work for. His order has been to act! Distribute this love profusely. Who then will not to just that? The director said "and action", so we must act- distribute books, chant, teach, learn, yearn. Then stop when we hear "cut"!
He's in control, his purposes will ripen fast, unfolding with each hour. The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet! Sweet will be the flower. From now on, please allow yourself to be an instrument and nothing more, acting carefully, cautiously, diligently. And while you act and obstacles come, fresh courage take! Those clouds you dread are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.

Good Morning ;)

FOOLOSOPHER'S FOOLOSOPHY

2008-10-11T04:02:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to stimulate my mind, I do little arguments in my head like a mock debate with people. Today, at 4 am I woke up in a fiery mood to argue with myself. Try it sometimes. So here's what it was about.
In College my Philosophy teacher would always insist on "doing" philosophy rather than sitting in class all day and "discussing" philosophy. Understanding the nature of things around us is very nice, as well as understanding the nature of things beyond our present senses, nay beyond our sensuous gaze of inspection. There is a lot out there to learn and one can fill his head to unlimited limits, but in the end the result of words should be action accompanied.

In the Bhagavad-gita, Lord Krishna explains two interesting points, among many. He describes two types of people- the mahatmas, great souls, and the duratmas, or what I call foolosuffers. Men of small knowledge, Krishna explains to Arjuna, are attracted by the flowery words of the Vedas, which talk about so many seemingly "deep" subject matters dealing with the three modes of material nature and its proclivities. (I even woke up with a fiery vocabulary huh). You find people out there, all due respects to them, who sit around all day and night in their heads and analyze things in life, with no aim of really shaping the world through their findings. It is fascinating tho, this creation; Nature runs so expertly, so diligently, so consciously. We could go down many channels trying to find out the ultimate connection of all things. And even when it comes to matters beyond us, such people stretch their materialistic demeanor that far. "In my opinion, I think, perhaps, maybe, theoretically, logically."

But everyone has an opinion, and every man can suppose and propose, but to what avail is it, if the subject matter is that which we have no tangible experience of? Therefore, I propose we come to a practical basis of understanding of our simple reality around us, and take the humble position of knowing very little, no matter how "deep" we may think we're thinking.

Krishna also talks about those with "real" Knowledge: after many many births and deaths, one who is in real knowledge Surrenders unto Me, knowing me to be the cause of all causes. Such a great soul is very rare.
Interesting! So knowledge as mentioned above IS real knowledge, and can be studied for lifetimes upon, but the cycle of birth and death stops with knowledge of Krishna. Krishna means the ultimate goal, the reason for learning. Not a philosopher's opinion written in a book, but tangible revelation after many births and deaths. Finally, the seeking philosopher comes to the engineer behind the engine, the technician in the powerhouse. Many other statements are made in the Bhagavad-gita to back such points and I urge people reading this to study Bhagavad-gita As It Is and get to understand things for themselves.
But then again are we just looking for a clear understanding? Now that we've arrived at "Krishna", what next? Well, just like when a young boy meets a young girl after eying her for weeks on end, or when a mother meets her child after nine months of carrying such a person, a relationship begins. Surrender unto Krishna means accepting the vastness and greatness of Krishna and acting under his guidance. This "action" in a "relationship" can manifest in five primary ways: in neutrality, servitor ship, friendship, paternity and conjugal love. Very high subject matters which requires expert guidance. Furthermore, one begins to dovetail all his actions for the satisfaction of Krishna and through Krishna's reciprocation, we achieve boundless transcendental bliss. Not something to philosophize about, rather something felt deep within and seen by all from without.
And Krishna explains that such a Mahatma, or great soul is very rare. Why rare? I have the knowledge of you, so whats so hard about surrendering? Well one thing I will mention here is that when most people learn about higher subjects, the effect is pride- now I know more than you- and pride is not a prerequisite for spiritual life, rather and stumbling block.
So my urge to true philosophers out there is to go deeper into doing philosophy in a simple and practical manner which may leave a mark in society, like planting a tree rather than talking about the benefits of planting, or loving and sharing with each other rather than talking about how we're all ultimately connected, yet fight like cats and dogs. Doing philosophy is more stimulating than talking philosophy; many people benefit from doing, few benefit from talking and time is wasted. I happen to be a thinker sometimes and usually its all up in my head which leaves lots of time for living as a monk in service to life around me :). We can all give it a try and see what its like.

Great Souls are found in the most practical places, Not so great souls are the ones who light no fire and perform no duty. Good Morning

RAISING KIDS

2008-10-03T15:39:00.000-05:00

Seriously, what would I know about that huh? I'm a monk. But I was a kid once and I see my friends assuming such roles lately. It must be quite an interesting world, and when a gentleman approached me today with what I'd call one of my top 10 conversations, one of the topics was raising Kids.

What will it be like in twenty years for them, I wonder in my 30 years I've seen the world go down quite swiftly. I find it hard to even live certain principles I was taught as a kid. Open the door for elders, Ladies sit first (after you draw their seats out for them), When grown ups, people at least ten years older than you, are in a conversation, leave the room (out of respect).

Amongst others. Hard to see lately and its interesting to see what will turn out; what will become of us. But there's hope that the lessons we learn now Will guide us to guide our offsprings later.

Without going on much further, as I have my own opinions on the matter, I did remember a song my mom used to sing to me about being a parent. Two sons, actually- "If I Could", and "No Charge". No Charge usually came up when I was the demanding little boy who wanted the world just because i made up my bed or something funny like that, and If I Could was the voice of a concerned, yet confident mother who, like any other mother, hopes for only the best for her child.

As I walked back to the monastery that song came to mind and I can only wish my friends and theirs best of luck in parenthood. The future will be what you teach your children now. As in the words of the boy-saint Prahlada, Spiritual lessons should be learned as earliest as possible- from the tender age of childhood. Or as the book of Proverbs say, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

If I could, I'd protect you
From the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in
A world of compromise
Yes, I would
If I could, I would teach you
All the things I've never learned
And I'd help you cross
The bridges that I've burned
Yes, I would

If I could, I would try to
Shield your innocence from time
But the part of life
I gave you isn't mine
I'll watch you grow
So I can let you go

If I could, I would help you
Make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can
Never cry your tears, babe
But I would, if I could

If I could, in a time and place
Where you don't wanna be
You don't have to walk
Along this road with me
My yesterday won't
Have to be your way

If I knew, I'd try to change
The world I brought you to
Now there isn't
Much more that I can do
But I would If I could
If I could

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

2008-10-02T05:58:00.000-05:00

So I was listening to a lecture this morning and My teacher, Srila Prabhupada gave an interesting meaning of the word Violence. He explained that checking people from their natural advancement in life is the worst type of Violence. When such virulent activities happen, the signs of the times as we know it are sure to manifest: wars, over population and unusual weather patterns.

The Bhagavad-gita explains that whatever actions one great man performs common men follow, and whatever standard he sets by his example, all the world pursues. Basically, everything begins from the top. In bygone ages, the Kings were known as Raja-rishis or kings who knew and understood that the human life is a gift awarded to the living entity after transmigrating through so many species. Their duty as kings were to set the example of leading a balanced realized spiritual life, nothing to do with mundane religiosity, as well as a material life of allotted enjoyment- not usurping the resources of nature.

This human form of life is meant for self realization- that through this human body one can understand his real identity as spirit soul. This form differs from others in the fact that one can think about higher topics. If i were to sit and read Bhagavad-gita to a dog or cat, the living being inside will surely understand the subject matter, but his conditioning, a dog's body, will not allow him to act accordingly. So the Human body is a great gift and should be used for great purposes.

So the violence happening now is the forward march of the world towards better means of gratifying the senses, old men are prescribed Viagra for better sex life, better beds are created for longer sleep, the tongue is requesting next to abominable eatables and oh, what to speak of defense. People are led everyday by various advertisements that happiness and peace comes from outside: the girl/guy wearing the latest fashion will be your source of happiness, the latest electronic gadget will surely calm your souls quest much better than the 8 track of long ago, nay better than the calming flowing rivers and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees.

And for this end, others are being exploited to the point of wars being raged on their own soils. As a friend of mine asked, whats our oil doing on their soil? All the while we never hear of the knowledge people really need to be happy and peaceful. Where is the University that is teaching the science of the soul? Most of what is thought, if i should venture there, is Vocational training meant to prepare one for the race towards a better form of gratification.

As the sages have taught us, real education means to refrain from being a victim of body dictation. We all like to think how much we are in charge right? I'm independent, I know what I'm doing, I have it ll figured out; but why then are we still under the control of our own bowel movements? When nature calls , who dares say no? AHA ! LOL.

So who's the boss again? Nature, but the boss of this body. Therefore real knowledge means to learn how to control the many urges the body and mind demand from us. That is the road followed by true spiritualists. Such a person is in true control of life and can therefore guide others to better and greener pastures, not the one who can't even control his own bodily dictates.

I'll leave the rest for your thinking :)

Good Morning.

But before I go ....

The best way to counter act this is to be an example of what the real use of human life should look like. Now, that's a big test. And we are all trying step by step. Join the movement, join the march.

LET THEM BE HAPPY AND SATISFIED

2008-09-27T06:05:00.000-05:00

Isn't it? Really? Seriously?

The goal, the essence of everything we do is to bring about some sort of gratification, a feeling that arouses teh butterflies, and shakes the cobwebs a bit letting the sleepy spiders of our minds crawl about a bit. Every advertisement we see promises sense gratification, every great speech promises the revelation or realization of a dream! So how bout I tell you a little something about a dream.

I too have a dream!

My dream is to see that everyone becomes happy. As a monk, my one question is always what can I do everyday that can benefit the masses. How can the vows I took to follow spiritual principles actually transfer from me to someone else? That is, if I'm catually feeling spiritual bliss as I may claim. The Srimad Bhagavatam (one awesome holy book out there) explains that it is the duty of every person to use his life , intelligence, wealth and words for the benefit of another.

So how can i really do that? So here's my dream.

__ Anandambuddhi vardhanam pratipadam__

Spiritual bliss and satisfaction can be tasted at every step, but the highest pleasure comes when we in turn distribute that bliss to others. There is no end to it. The ocean of bliss is unlimited and each person is allowed to take more than he can handle- provided he also gives more than enough. Everyday I stand out in the strees distributing spiritual literature and hoping that someone will read them and understand that material life is a one way ticket form nowhere to nowhere... (nowhere man please listen- john lennon).

But lately I've been doing some self examination: if people are to abandon everything and try to follow my lead, I have to actually show that I am feeling the bliss. That deep feeling within has to also connect with the next person's inner hankering. its not some external show of things. True bliss comes from the soul, from the spiritual stratum and unless we are feeling it, people, who are also spiritual in essence, will find out sooner or later.

So do we have to be self realized souls then? Nope, but we can at least have trust in the self realized souls and repeat what they impart to us. In this way, the transfer of knowledge stays fresh and not contaminated by our mundane speculation. Kinda like a postman, sometimes he may be carrying a letter with a check for one million dollars for you, as long as he delivers the check to your mailbox, he's done his job; but say he opens your letter and find a check! Oh Oh. now his mind runs all over the place with what he could do to get some of your money- kidnap your pet, you, your friend. I dunno, never met a postman like that.

Basically, my dream is to deliver the message of Bhagavad Gita as delivered to me. And as I practice and feel some clarity in my life, I would like to urge others to do the same.

Nothing to lose untimately, but if there's gain, why not?

So not just me, but other spiritual practitioners- the best way to increase your spiritual blis is to give it to others. Lord Caitanya and His associates showed us this practically; the plundered the storehouse of Love and distributed that love freely to everyone. But something strange was happening at that time- the more the gave, the more there was to give. Some of that has been passed to us, lets keep passing it on and paying it forward.

WEEK IN REVIEW

2008-09-20T10:39:00.000-05:00

It's been a risky week! I opened the third Chapter of a book called "Servant of the Servant", a recollection by a monk named Tamal Krishna Goswami about his times travelling around the US on this Greyhound but turned temple. Along with other monks, it was the pied piper meets the magic school bus. They'd go from city to town to village and practically each time they left, two or three fortunate souls would join up and try to live as monks. He recounts the joys, the transcendental competitive spirits of other monks who admired their bus's adventure and tried to replicate their activities, the rude awakening in parking lots with guns in the window and insults hurling thru the ether, the bitter cold and warm summers, and the care and nourishment of each new soul trying to make his way back home to the spiritual world by accepting monastic vows.

As I read on my yearning increased to be engaged in such a way! Forget everything and just travel and teach. I yearn to meet others with this mentality. In the 60s and 70s that was easy, people were unsatisfied with the ways of their parents and so the Hippie movement sprung up in search of inner and higher truths. Today, time is mostly spent uploading or downloading Ipod stuff, shopping, girl/boy hunting, celebrity gossiping and whatever else us young ones do for fulfilment. Who dare try monastic life now? Very few even think of it. At most, guys and girls sit up all night trying to figure out life's mysteries through the pot peace pipe hole or shrooms or again, whatever else us young...

So in that state of mind I distributed books in downtown Halifax this week mentally recalling all I read the previous nights. Then a funny thing happened. A few guys I talked to started asking questions on monastic life. Even better, this curious eyed guy, full of energy and a spirit of adventure hopped off his bus and had to see what those guys in Saffron robes were talking about. We even invited him and a few others over for supper. pretty cool I thought. But he's only 18- wait a minute! Just one minute there fella :) I was only 18 when I moved into the monastery. Yup, fresh outta high school and wondering what i was gonna do in that college place.

Then there were those Saffron clad monks and Sari clad nuns who caught my attention on that busy day in 1998 in Seattle. The rest is history which pops up every now and then in the pages of blogs and journals.

What else this week....

I got really cold and my bones started to hurt but I ignored it allll day and it hurt still alllll day.

I also realized and decided to learn to respect others who don't share my let's jump in a van and take over the world and turn every one and their moms into monks mood.

I ate spice cake, got marriage proposals from a lady on the street (funny one). I told her no (valley girl accent) and she was like why? and I was like cuz i chose not to and she was like oh my Gosh you so should, and I was like sorry, what i don't use down there I use in my brain, like oh my God she was like so sad, like i don't like get it!

EQUAL GIVE EQUAL TAKE

2008-09-15T16:12:00.000-05:00

OK, exercise time! Take a deep breath, come on! Deep in, now let it out. wotcha noticed? Anything? OK try again, but this time, count the amount of seconds breathing in, and breathing out. In most cases, its equal amounts; a balance set up by nature herself. All around us these things are happening- in nature that is. So who let the dogs out in human society? Who are these people taking more and more and giving little back? Oh well, landfills I guess. Who let the Hogs out, turning our world from fast food nation to fast food world? Who let the Camels out, eating thorns mixed with their own blood? Oh and lastly, who let the Asses (donkeys) out, working so hard for so little profit?
Can any of us relate to any of these animals? Are our daily lives filled with a search for more gratification and seemingly putting out more energy than necessary? I have a thought or two on that. Human life is not meant to be like what we see out there. Look at civilizations gone before, Aryans, Mayans, and even up to 70 or more years ago; after lasting for so many years did they leave the earth in such a state? Did they leave landfills? Yes a land filled with what we now go back to in documentaries and other things marvel at. This is human civilization. A civilization that leaves garbage and waste for the next generation is no better than that of the animal kingdom. But even he animals are doing better than we are nowadays, no?
So lets begin to work toward positive ends. Plant a garden for starters, walk more, party less, and be outside more. There's a whole lot of amazing things left that we have to explore. Creation is full of variety and we have to seek it out. I promise, its beautiful. It does require some effort tho. Like the good book says, its mo re blessed to give than to receive.
Quality is what we should desire now, quality of life, and animal life doesn't cut it. Quality life comes with great effort and conscious living.
I'll continue this tomorrow, bed time now.
Oh by the way, if you'd like to write something here, like an article or poem, you're welcome to do so. just email me and we'll see about it.

A RICH HARVEST

2008-09-14T06:22:00.000-05:00

In monastic life, one's first duty is to offer respect to his teacher and then go on for the rest of the day in his service. But what is the service of the teacher? As in my case, Srila Prabhupada's most important service he has passed down to me is assisting him in freeing the western world from impersonalism and voidism.

"namaste saraswati deve gaura-vani-pracharine nirvishesha-shunyavadi pashchatya-desha-tarine"

"Our respectful obeisances are unto you, O spiritual master, servant of Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Goswami. You are kindly teaching the message of Lord Caitanya and delivering the Western countries, which are filled with impersonalism and voidism."

So one may ask why not help free the world from hunger, poverty, etc etc. These are visible problems. Yes, true, but as the truth goes, we never find the root cause of something at the front of the line. We may see symptons, like a boil on the body representing so malfunction or impurity in the blood. Or worse case scenario, people who externally seem to be the nicest of neigbhors or teachers or whoever, and then the next day their faces appear on the news for some act unmentionable here. The problem, the cause is usually deep within; deply rooted.

The jist of it is that in an impersonal and void world, actions happen out of a sense of hopelessness or resignation.

The earth becomes a dead thing we can claim, others are seen as a means for exploitation in order to reach the top, children laugh and play as kids together, then grow as men and fight to kill each other. Is this reaching too far? Look around again and then keep reading.

There's somuch to write about the effects of impersonalism but I'll focus on the importance of personalism henceforward.

The Vedas tell us that everything animate and inanimate belongs to someone- Krishna, or whatever name one may have for ht Supreme. Krishna has also allotted to us different quota according to our capabilities (for example and elephant can eat tons of food, and I can only eat up to a bowl or two at most.) When we understand and respect such teachings, then we begin to Honor everything and everyone around us.

Moreover, by understanding the nature of Spirituality, we also begin to fill the Void in our own lives. People today look outside for satisfaction: the new I pod, or zen, discotheque or arcade, boy or girl. We are bombarded with advertisements gauranteeing our happiness- til the next new thing comes along. How long should this go on? When we understand that happiness comes from within, we should also make an effort to look within.

One thing we'll find when we look with in is ourselves. Yup! thats a whole other topic that I'll leave for later. When we do see things a little clearer, its easy to be personal, fearless and fulfilled. Fearless means reaching out and giving one's service selflessly, knowing that he, the soul is indestructible. And there are many out there today who need to be reached out to. No that we should become some super heroes and fly to the rescue, but if we are spiritually inclined, we should go deeper into spiritual consciousness and from that point, reach out. To quote Jesus, "one should not light a candle and then cover it with a bowl; no, when a light is lit, leave it in the open so people can see in teh dark. So let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your father who is in heaven."

So the harvest is rich, thanks to an ever increasing advancement towards outer satisfaction.

People are looking for something tangible, so my appeal to all Spiritualist is to join in the march for real freedom- freedom from impersonalism, and voidism (in other words, lonliness and emptiness)

THE FIRES OF INDUSTRY

2008-09-13T10:59:00.000-05:00

I was reading this passage from Srimad Bhagavatam this morning and thought it'd be an interesting read for those out there who look for an alternative to our industry lifestyle today.

All these cities and villages are flourishing in all respects because the herbs and grains are in abundance, the trees are full of fruits, the rivers are flowing, the hills are full of minerals and the oceans full of wealth. And this is all due to Your glancing over them.
PURPORT
Human prosperity flourishes by natural gifts and not by gigantic industrial enterprises. The gigantic industrial enterprises are products of a godless civilization, and they cause the destruction of the noble aims of human life. The more we go on increasing such troublesome industries to squeeze out the vital energy of the human being, the more there will be unrest and dissatisfaction of the people in general, although a few only can live lavishly by exploitation. The natural gifts such as grains and vegetables, fruits, rivers, the hills of jewels and minerals, and the seas full of pearls are supplied by the order of the Supreme, and as He desires, material nature produces them in abundance or restricts them at times. The natural law is that the human being may take advantage of these godly gifts by nature and satisfactorily flourish on them without being captivated by the exploitative motive of lording it over material nature. The more we attempt to exploit material nature according to our whims of enjoyment, the more we shall become entrapped by the reaction of such exploitative attempts. If we have sufficient grains, fruits, vegetables and herbs, then what is the necessity of running a slaughterhouse and killing poor animals? A man need not kill an animal if he has sufficient grains and vegetables to eat. The flow of river waters fertilizes the fields, and there is more than what we need. Minerals are produced in the hills, and the jewels in the ocean. If the human civilization has sufficient grains, minerals, jewels, water, milk, etc., then why should it hanker after terrible industrial enterprises at the cost of the labor of some unfortunate men? But all these natural gifts are dependent on the mercy of the Lord. What we need, therefore, is to be obedient to the laws of the Lord and achieve the perfection of human life by devotional service. The indications by Kuntīdevī are just to the point. She desires that God's mercy be bestowed upon them so that natural prosperity be

maintained by His grace.

Reach Out and Touch Faith

2008-09-12T18:47:00.000-05:00

Nope, not your own personal Jesus :)
But something interesting I've noticed during my travels and interaction is the sour fact that lots of people are lonely. While distributing books I find that many ppl put their headphones on, or dark glasses and walk past trying not to notice, or be noticed.
The world gets a little more impersonal each day. We're almost spinning our own silk coccoons as dasy go by.
As a monk my challenge is extending myself as much as possible to people who have sort of a big and bad attitude and walk around with a chip (of no chip) on their shoulders. With so much fear and distrust around us, who can blame anyone for keeping to themselves? But is it our fear fo each other thats killing us?
Hmm, I've waited for this day when I'd start to write this seriously about something. But with a bit of encouragement. We can all be our brother's keepers- one good turn deserves another.
Anyways, life goes on and travels are happening. i only touched the surface of this because I could write for hours about what I've seen and heard.
But that bed time is approaching and sleep is driving a fast car to get to me.
Hare Krishna. Good night

FUGGETTABBOUDIT

2008-09-10T16:22:00.000-05:00

So I have a proposal.
I know I said I'd write so much that happend this summer right. But when I sit to write... my minds a blank.____________________________________________
So what say ye we start a new from here on eh? Savvy?
I can whip up some awesome stuff about my strange little realizations, silly little notions. and just keep you entertained.
Yup so the past shall sleep as of tonight. Sometimes best not wake it either; so full of moments
ever changing moments, embarassing, humbling, exciting, living moments.
Forget the past the sleeps,
ne'er dream the future at all.
Live with times that are with the now
and progress the shall call."
Bhaktivinode Thakur.
(pop quiz: who's Bhaktivinode Thakur? )

CURSED!!

2008-09-10T15:30:00.000-05:00

Part of my daily routine is reading one of the many Spiritual Books written and translated by My Spiritual Grandfather Srila Prabhupada. These books are filled with knowledge fo everything and anything. While travelling this summer I was reading a section on Astronomy and the different planetary systems, then later I read about one of my favourite personalities, the great sage Narada. Basically, Narada got this benediction to be able to travel throughout the universes at will and travel he does! He's a monk who appears at very crucial times in people's lives and gives them some spiritual message to speed up Krishna's proceeding pasttimes.

For saintly people, Narada is a blessing, a breath of fresh air, a "just when I need it" kinda person. But for the gross materialists, this blessing in disguise is often not so welcome. Materialists want spiritual enlightenment in the least! Imagine a person trying to blow up a building, (or should you really imagine that), or do something to increase his attachment to the bodily concept of life and in comes this monk who tells you that your plan, although it may work, is temporary and so why waste time on it? Yup! thats the kinda fellow this Narada is. Interested in teh welfare of all beings, he looks beyond their faults and sees their real needs- the need to contact the spiritual realm. So on a few occasions Narada was cursed to never stay in one place very long so that he won't be able to disturb ppl's peace. In his Purport to one of the translated verses, Srila Prabhupada explains how he has been cursed in such a way by the parents of his students for bringing this sublime spiritual science to the western world where parents would rather see their sons and daughters as full fledge sense enjoyers, forgetting their eternal nature as spiritual beings. He accepts the curse but it also hampers him from swiftly translating all the Sanskrit books he needs to translate. He wishes to transfer and distribute this curse to some of his students and grand students who want to continue to "cause trouble"and give people an alternative to the rat race.

WOW I thought, I want to be CURSED! I mean, I like travelling, I love teaching about Krishna conscious philosophy, I like interacting with people. So whaddawewaitingfor?

The I thought, wow, a curse? Who in their right minds wanna be cursed? But then double take, its a blessing to be cursed like this. That means all the Teachers in the line of Narada will be pleased with me and offer all their protection. Ah... lets do it.

So yup, I'm living on a prayer, halfway there!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISHNA

2008-08-24T09:35:00.000-05:00

YUP, God has a birthday.
Again, not just GOD, but Krishna! the Supreme personality of GODhead.
In the Spiritual world today is a huge festival.
His mom is cooking like anything, his dad is giving away sooo many gifts,
one of which he gave to the material world in the form of Srila Prabhupada,
Sridham, Balaram, Madhumangala and the rest of his friends are dressed exquisitely for the ocasion and the cows are producing more milk than anyone can use so the ground is soaked.
and guess what, when Krishna goes out to play today, he's gonna hang on to the calve's tails and thats gonna scare them, and then they'll run and drag him thru the milk mud.
then he's gonna get a bath and then all sorts of fun things are gonna happen today.
but guess what? its like that everyday with the little boy blue.
Neverland meets everland and love is the currency of exchange.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISHNA!

AND THAT WAS SUMMER

2008-08-24T09:11:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!
Its been a fun filled summer traveling from city to city, country to country and really getting to see Americanadexico.
One thing that stood out through all this is that thread that runs thru us all- love. Divine love.
As we traveled to many cities in our big yellow buses with Krishna.com on the top, so many ppl honked, waved, stopped to ask questions, etc etc.
A band of rag-tag transcendentalists we were and that wasn't passing anyone by.
And for me this was an opportunity to share my lifestyle with others.
There were about fifty of us and we all lived together fro 9 weeks on two buses. Oh man, sometimes we all wanted to hit the next person, and other times we all wanted to embrace the next person. By the end of the tour, we had formed a bond; we had all gone out of our normal lives and lived for Krishna's pleasure.
It showed too! During our performances people cried and cheered and danced and stood stunned and ate and everything in between.
"Henceforward," I'm basically gonna write what comes to mind and not try to be all literary and stuff eh?
So there was wild blueberry picking up by serpent river in Canada and then rasberry pickin in Saranagati, then more blueberry pickin in Vancouver. Everytime I was in those fields I wondered what it would be like to be picking such awesome fruits with Krishna. Can you imagine? God has his little basket and you have yours and the both of you just berry fest allllll day long. Or bunjee jumping ans whitewater rafting with Krishna. Jeeeeze.
Then there was that one night we had Smores! YUMMMY TUMMY SMORES!
And then to every strangers amazement... those people... dancing in the streets! yup, we did that too.
And camping at Yosemite and beaching in Mexico, cooling off in Maine, heating up in Utah, soakng up detroits rainy festival weather.... I'll go on and on and on.

My favorite was being in Nova Scotia. The people were soooo nice I thought I had died and gone to niceland. As we walked downtown St. Andrew's people were stoppign and welcoming us to their little town of Andrew-helm how still we see theee lie, I mean uh.. we went whale watching and had some amazing soup on the boat (literally, when someone spilled their's)
Bhagavad Gita was a hit that afternoon as I distributed four in ten minutes- seriously.
Then all the other fun stuff that I'm tooo tired to write about like being in DC or LA or NYC or driving and watching the northern most lights not turn dark.
Ok I'll be back with pictures and what not

HI HELLO YO GOODAY

2008-07-22T11:45:00.001-05:00

Yup, long time no write.
Thats because long time no see no computer to wrote eh.
We're travellign all around Canada and having a blast performing and spreading love and knowledge. I'll continue to write in about a month with all the fun things we did.
love ya'll
Kesh

Higher Things / Unspeakable Joy

2008-05-30T18:41:00.000-05:00

When I was in between Monastic life and monastic life, I lived somewhat of a hippie/yuppie life and this song was so cool. Today while thinking about it I started to relate it to This Krishna conscious philosophy. It fit pretty well. Here's the lyrics.

UNSPEAKABLE JOY
When I wake up in the morning gets me outta bed
Keeps me runnin' skippin' jumpin' like a little kid
You know sometimes I can hardly keep it inside
It overtakes me, overwhelms me, and I'm mortified
I Did not get it from any woman or man
And it's okay if they don't always understand
It's very easy to get caught in circumstance
It's even easier to break out in a dance

People ask my why this supernatural high
Seeing only sun when there's a cloudy sky
I know the trouble tries to surround me
But I've been given something greater deep inside of me
When I'm facing opposition of that attitudes
We come see notions, dispositions are completely rude
When darkness thinks that it's outdone me,
I must remember the greater love's inside meI
did not get it from any woman or man
And it's okay if they don't always understand
It's very easy to get caught in circumstance
It's even easier to break out in a dance
JOY!
Unspeakable Joy!' Cause they did not give it, and they can not take it away! JOY!
Unspeakable Joy! In my heart and I can't let them steal my JOY

FFFIREFLIES !

2008-05-30T06:12:00.000-05:00

The evening on the farm didn't seem like one until about 8:30 pm. Days are getting longer and nights sweeter and just when I thought no other creature would pop up- Freekin' Fireflies I tell you. Lighting up as they buzzed pass me. Wow, too cool. why do I wanna go to the city? Oh yeah, I have to teach, or at least practice teaching. Then it got dark and the sky looked like hollywood on Oscar night; so many stars were out, except these stars don't have hollywood star issues.
Well, Just a short one this morning. I'll check in my mind for any other babblings appropriate for posting.

I MADE BUTTER ! !

2008-05-28T06:17:00.000-05:00

Fresh butter is better so you better eat more butter. (say it ten times really fast.)
The devotees on the farm here get their milk from a group of menonite farmers and its the best milk experience I've had in the US. It's not processed at all and is cooled to about 30 degrees right after the cow is milked. And the cows... WOW! So clean and friendly and lovable. How can they produce anything but amazing milk. Human society is missing out on the simple gifts of nature. Will we ever realize it? Thats a totally different topic. For now I'll hop one step back to the butter I made yesterday.
After the milk arrived there was so much cream on teh top and so I decided to make some butter and meditate on how Mother Yasoda makes butter for Krishna in the spiritual world. Little did I know, its exciting! You have to get all high when you see these little transformations. So there I was in the kitchen churning butter in the plastic churner they have here. I was listening to a kirtan cd and chanted all along. First came cream-whipped cream! I thought for a moment to stop there and make ice cream. . . nah, fugettaboudit! i'm making butter. So on we goes makin' butter and churns we turns and sings we along and happier we starts to get!
About fifteen minutes into it I begin to see the cream turn into this yellow substance we call butter! I was higher than a kite and could not help but pray one day to make butter everyday. When I open a monastery of my own, there MUST be fresh butter everyday for Krishna. He likes it. Krishna's most lovable pastimes involve butter stealing. Yes, God is not boring, nor is he bored. He's the embodiment of all kinds of amazing mellows. Where do we get all these qualities we find in ourselves? Did calvin and hobbes just evolve into a naughty calvin and hobbes? And dennis that menace? Nope, an artist took them from his mind. So as we're made in Krishna's image, we come with minute sparks of his qualities. He's teh supreme love stealing' double dealin' two timing' not low down but high up son of a mother who makes awesome butter and yogurt and yup, thats ze God i've decided to dedicate my time to teaching the world about. The one we know of now reflects the mind of a concocted person who's just out to get ya. he's on a guilt trip cuz no one likes his creation, they kille dhis only son, and he has an enemy named the devil. Come ON! Who is God envious of? In layman terms: which other black woman out there is Oprah envious of? LOL
Ok now for the eating part. Wish you guys were here to share it, but soon we'll all be stealing butter with Krishna so hold your horses.
P.S
(lately while typing I've been typing "teh" instead of "the" and I have no idea why taht's (LOL) happening.)

AH!

2008-05-26T17:10:00.000-05:00

That was my expression as I walked off the porch into the thunderstorm a few minutes ago. The day had started nice and warm on the farm and after I made lunch for the devotees I decided to sit and chant in the doorway for a few minutes. Rain clouds began to gather and I began speculating if the color of the cloud passing was the same as Krishna's complexion. A few minutes later it began to pour and I watched for a moment reminiscing about Africa in the rainy season. Days like these wouldn't find me on the porch, I thought. I'd be in the rain and picking up fallen mangoes. " would be nice to do it again", I thought. Wait a minute, when did I, of all people grow up? When? At that moment it was goodbye porch and in the rainstorm with my bead bag strolling along the road and chanting softly. It was like back then! I remembered a past time of Srila Prabhupada in LA and how he wanted to run up the stairs. He mentioned that those desires were still there but the body wasn't allowing it to happen anymore. In such a simple instance he showed the difference between the body and the soul. " Well I'd better enjoy this while I can, " I thought. Which led up to me writing about this now and which will lead me to the Kitchen afterwards to make some warm halava to offer to Krishna and then parttake in his remnants. On days like these my mom would make soup and my brother, cousins and I would eat and watch television. So what's a monk to do now? Halava, soup or somethng warm, definitely. And perhaps one of Srila Prabhupada's books instead of a movie will do.

P.S

No pictures lately because of dail- up connection. But I'll post some soon.

Nectar in the End

2008-05-22T17:25:00.000-05:00

Living a simple life in a complicated world is not such a simple thing at all :) We've learned so much in this world that is supposedly the way to live and be happy, yet year after year no one has achieved the happiness they expect or look for. Yet there exists a perfect world- not the utopian perfection, but the perfect that comes out of the simplest of gestures, when in a space in time you know you've endeavored for something worth it.

I would like to spend the rest of my life learning and teaching about Krishna consciousness. Mostly i would like to teach about his simplicity. People think God lives in this big castle in the sky with streets of Gold whatever rich people might imagine about the spiritual realm. But from the Vedic scriptures we learn that God is just a boy; a boy who lives in a little village with his family and loving friends. He protects his devotees thru any danger, even to the point o flifting a hill like he did five thousand years ago. His mother, along with the rest of the village think about him all day when he's gone to the fields with his brother to tend the cows. He wanders along the river with his friends making funny noises, playing in caves, you name it, God does it. the story goes on about this simple place and this is where I long to be at the end of my life.

But to get there is not so easy. Tolorance, hunility, and so many other things have to be learned in order to transcend this world and go back. But then there's a secret- invite as many people as you can to come back to the spiritual world and Krishna will endow you with all the good qualities that you long to achieve. Yup, Krishna promises that. he does. So one day I'll see you all around the bend. my huckleberry friends!

THE PRAYER

2008-05-02T17:25:00.000-05:00

I pray youll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we dont know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where well be safe

I pray we’ll find Your light
And hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night
Remind us where You are
Let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day

A world where pain and sorrow will be ended
And every heart that’s broken will be mended
And we’ll remember we are all God’s children
Reaching out to touch you, reaching to the sky

We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Needs to find a place
Guide us with Your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

And that faith you've lit
deep within our hearts
i think faith can save us

The Battlefield

2008-04-28T08:55:00.000-05:00

Its an inner battle when we realize that the world is throwing so many things in our faces at every moment, and that we have to keep dodging the bullets and make our way back to base-safely. But the world is not the enemy, we aren't the enemy either. Nope its not that goat-legged and horned red guy called the devil either. Its simply the misconception we have attached to thru the medium of the false ego via the intelligence, mind and senses. As explained in the Bhagavad-Gita desire, or lust, is the all devouring enemy of us all, And its quite deep too. we can't just uproot it and go. Nope, its born of contact with the senses and their objects. The Gross senses want to feel and taste and hear and see, while the subtle senses want to feel the inner gratification of such contact. In this way the chariot of the mind drives us here and there hoping that what we're looking for is out there and will appear soon and very soon. But so many things apear to be what we are seeking- only to end, or keep going to the next person. So the more we keep up the seeing and feeling and other stuff for external gratification, the battle continues-with casualties.
But just as the enemy is within, born of this body, the Hero also lies within. He wasn't just born with the body, nor does he appear at the crucial moment to save the day; He's always there. You know him, I do too. He's been with us on countless journeys and his name is Paramatma (say that five times). So by looking with in we see the friend and the enemy. When we then analyze that the reason the enemy is the enemy is because he presents things to us that doesnt quench our thirst for non-stop bliss, then we begin to ask the paramatma what he can offer us. Again, we learn from the Gita that Paramatma is just waiting for that moment. So that all he can tell us is this: "I have nothing to offer you that already isn't yours." You, as a being different from the covering belonging to desire, come from a world where you don't even need sunlight! What to speak of everything else thats being thrown at you. you already have these in full. He continues to explain that we are of the same nature, Paramatma and us, and we exist together forever in that splenidn abode. He envites us back by beckoning that we turn from the battle outside of sensual throwings, look within, and call out from within, loud enough to reawaken such atmosphere.

The Hippie In me

2008-04-26T19:49:00.000-05:00

Has anyone seen that movie "Brother Sun, Sister Moon"?

It happens to be one of my favorite movies. It deals with a person's faith through trials. That person being the awesome St. Francis of Asisi. If you haven't seen it you may not understand this scene. But try to watch the movie and free yourself of mankind's obsession with original sin.

here's a link to the youtube video, and then the lyrics to the song is below.

(in this part of the movie they just re constructed a post crusade sacred ruined church, and the youth of asisi are attending which in tun pisses the bishop and other members of the church off.)

If you want your dream to be

Take your time, go slowly

Do few things, but do them well

Heartfelt work grows purely

If you want to live life free

Take your time, go slowly

Do few things, but do them well

Heartfelt work grows purely

Day by day, stone by stone

Build your secret slowly

Day by day, you'll grow, too

You'll know heaven's glory

If you want your dream to be

Take your time, go slowly

Small beginnings, greater ends

Heartfelt work grows purely

if you want to live life free

Take your time, go slowly

Do few things, but do them well

Heartfelt joys are holy

****

So news reaches the pope after so drama, and St. Francis gets to meet the pope who then has this to say:

[Francesco] Simple people understand us, but the others -- perhaps we've made mistakes. This is what we want to know. Is it not possible, Holy Father, to live according to the teachings of our Lord? Or have we sinned through presumption? If that be the case, then we would like Your Holiness to tell us of our errors.

[Pope] My dearest son, errors will be forgiven. In our obsession with original sin, we too often forget original innocence. Don't let that happen to you. You've brought me, dear children, great joy and a little sadness. I, too, started my vocation -- oh, long ago -- in much the sameway as you. But, with time, all that enthusiasm passed, and the responsibility of church government took hold of me, as you see. And what will happen to those who come after you? Have you thought enough about them?

[Francesco] But if it be true for us, then how can it not be true for them?

[Pope] We are encrusted with riches and power. You, in your poverty, put us to shame. Francesco, Francesco, go in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Preach the truth to all men. May your disciples increase a thousandfold, and flourish like the palm tree. Our Lord be with you, in your hands and in your feet.

So we had some thoughtful Christians back then.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8xUx4JerVZo

MORE INDIA PICTURES

2008-04-26T13:30:00.000-05:00

here's an easier way to find the Flickr file
http://www.flickr.com/photos/24593116@N02/
for those who don't understand this:
हियर इस अन एअस्य वे टू लुक अत थे पिक्टुरेस ओं माय फ्लिक्कर अकाउंट
http://www.flickr.com/photos/24593116@N02/
Still No??
സൊ ഹിയര്‍ ഈസ് ദ ലിങ്ക് ടോ മൈ ഫ്ലിക്കര്‍ അക്കൌണ്ട്
http://www.flickr.com/photos/24593116@N02/

GO DEEPER

2008-04-26T08:48:00.000-05:00

This is one of my favorite songs. In such times when love is rarely found around here, I sometimes wanna jump outta my skin and traverse the world spreading what has been given to me. This is my mood lately:)

FEEL

Come and hold my hand

I wanna contact the living

Not sure I understand

This role I've been given

I sit and talk to God

And he just laughs at my plans

My head speaks a language

I don't understand

I just wanna feel

Real love feel the home that I live in

Cos I got too much life

Running through my veins

Going to waste

I don't wanna die

But I ain't keen on living either

Before I fall in love

I'm preparing to leave her

Scare myself to death

That's why I keep on running

Before I've arrived

I can see myself coming

I just wanna feel

Real love feel the home that I live in

I got too much love

Running through my veins

To go to waste

I just wanna feel

Real love and the love ever after

There's a hole in my soul

You can see it in my face

It's a real big place

-robbie williams

In this day and age, such feelings can only be revived by chanting for Krishna sincerely. Why only, because Krishna is eternal like we are. Matter may give us some feeling, but its so fleeting. Krishna stays.

**hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare

**hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare

Its Not The Jar

2008-04-25T17:51:00.000-05:00

Most People, not understanding the true nature of things often look on externals to speculate whats going on internal. Two words come to mind today- Conditioning, and Nature. First I'll start with nature. Our true nature, is that we are spiritual beings, belonging to a spiritual realm in a much more fascinating reality than this one. The goal in human life is to get back to that nature using the human form of body as a vehicle. Now like every machine made of matter, this body has a certain conditioning. Conditioning involves how the soul expresses its desires through a certain medium. A soul in the body of a dog sees the world differently than that person in the body of a tiger. Most animals live in a world controlled and protected by nature. Humans, on the other hand are given a little more freedom. Look around and notice people's clothing, cars, houses, etc. Each person shows one constant thing- individuality. But the conditioning makes it so that although two people may be identical twins even, they express themelves differently. If we all had on different colored glasses, we would all see the same world, trees, bees-everything, but in different shades. This makes for a hard struggle for existence outside the spiritual world where, in our natural state, we all, tho different, have one oject of affection. In the Spiritual world we all love Krishna, and we use our individuality to serve him. Being the all attractive personality of Godhead is an interesting concept then huh?

All of the above came as a nice realization as I read a webpage on Chinese Astrology. There are twelve animals in the zodiac and I took birth in the year of the horse. Now, thats my conditioning. Its like some rich neigbhorhood where everyone drives range rovers. So am I the same as everyone born in the year of hte horse? Nope. Similar natures, but due to overall individuality we express ourselves diferently (red rovers, black ones, silver ones, leather interiors, fur (eeww!) .)

So thats another task for a spiritualist- engaging people according to two things- their conditioning (called nature sometimes, or guna), and their Activities (karma). One becomes expert in this science by learning to connect with Krishna who is the knower of all sciences. As he says in the Bhagavad-Gita " from me comes rememberance, knowledge and forgetfulness."

The easiest way I'd recommend getting in touch wih Krishna now a day is through chanting his names. Its explained that in this age, Krishna appears in the fom of his name. For those of you who know how to chant, try chanting quietly and listen to the sound vibration. For those who have zero clue on what i just talked about, try this:

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama

Rama Rama Hare Hare

Love,

Kesh

False Ago

2008-04-21T21:07:00.000-05:00

O ghastly entity I created thee To assist my lordship O'er all that be
From west to east I called your name Oh lust! Oh Furtune Come! oh Fame
You hurried with all Your utter most might And at age five You gave me sight
Of all in life I could enjoy I ran deep, headfirst In your coy

But something I did not expect, From God The time Lord Architect
From you I got A bitter taste He showed me My own Life lay waste
To him I turned And swiftly ran To give my life For all its span

Still everyday You follow me As I ever push To set me free
But everyday I Thank you, Ghost For helping me
Want Krishna MOST

Movement

2008-04-21T20:51:00.000-05:00

So the blog resumes in the United States. A bit more philosophical, or insightful, or basically more thought- and some fun. Here's a little poetry to sart the day.

My dear friend now we must part
unless you desire with all your heart
one hundred percent, yes, no other need
the fruit to taste of a long sown seed
Quick i must go where others be
who truth and pure love desire to see
gone is the day, when matter, they yearned
now come the time life's goal must be earned
If wish you not to use what you know
then i must leave mush seeds to sow
to people out there, whose lives lay waste
I've opted too long now i must make haste.
But friend you'll remain if you dismiss
desires of lust- surrender to bliss
for that's where we're we, originally
friend, linger there eternally!

PARTY LIKE A KRISHNA STAR

2008-03-29T00:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday there was a cool dust storm while I was at Radhakunda. Sitting at the banks I watched as these dark clouds approached and then stirred the dust so much that the visibility was about 30 percent. Now thats a lotta dust in the air. So much so that as i got up the wind carried 175 pounds of me! It reminded me of a story when Krishna was kidnapped by this mystic demon who took the form of a tornado and raised the roof... i mean the dust. After that i ran into a friend of mine, Damodar, from Canada. He's studying sanskrit at our sanskrit school in Govardhana. We also got to steal sugar cane from a passing truck with thousands on it. YUP. monks steal sugar cane :) you have to. its so tempting to be mischiveous in vrindavan. the right kind of mischeif tho. One ppl can laugh at later, not one you'd be hated for forever.

This morning we had our boat festival. The courtyard of the temple was filled with water and decorated with flower designs and the temple dieties were places on a peacock boat and rowed around. We should try that in gainesville.. fill the temple with.. oh wait we shoudn't.

The temple here has a sunken in courtyard:) There were This boat festival takes place in the spiritual world along with many other awesome pastimes. I shouldn't forget all the singing and dancing that went on as well. Vidos wiil be shown when I return. One day after we're all purified, we can see these things in the devine forest as described here:

In a temple of jewels in Vrndavana, underneath a desire tree, Sri Sri
Radha‑Govinda, served by Their most confidential associates, sit upon an
effulgent throne. I offer my humble obeisances unto Them.

Sri Srila Gopinatha, who originated the transcendental mellow of the rasa
dance, stands on the shore in Vamsivata and attracts the attention of the
cowherd damsels with the sound of His celebrated flute. May they all confer
upon us their benediction.
So yup, the spiritual world is a very cool place to be. With a straw between my teeth I bow before you all and humbly beg you to please give up your material hankerings and come be part of the eternal amorous pastimes of our most dear friend Krishna.

IT IS . . .

2008-03-27T03:45:00.000-05:00

Hot like somewhere I don't wanna mention.
probably about a hundred degrees rightt now.
I did that 14 minle walk again today:)
i have a few more days left and I think I'm gonna just eat fruit in such a weather.
oh by the way.. you are allowed to leave a coment or two you know.
no seriously, you should, you can, YOU MUST !
ah, now that we've settled that.
pictures coming soon

2008-03-23T11:21:00.000-05:00

नो लेट'स सी इफ एनी ऑफ़ यू गुय्स कैन रीड वहत इ'म व्र्तिंग।

कात्च अ शूटिंग स्तर एंड पुट आईटी इन यौर पोक्केट सेव आईटी और अ रैनी डे

इ लव थिस । ओनली जाया कैन उन्देर्स्तंद वहत इ जुस्त व्रोते। नेक्स्ट टाइम इ गेट बेक वे विल मके सोम निस कृष्ण प्रसदम

लव, केसव एंड जगन्नाथ कीर्तन

నౌ లెట్స్ సి ఈఫ్ యు గుయ్స్ కాన్ ఉన్దేర్స్తాండ్ థిస్ ఒనె :)

ఐ లవ్ ఇట్ ఐ లవ్ ఇట్ ఐ జస్ట్ లవ్ తో టాసే పీపుల్

a PHEW! More Pictures

2008-03-23T05:26:00.001-05:00

monks are all great cooks!
finland monk Sadhu Marg Das
I realize it was only funn to me
who wouldn't wanna meditate in this room?

Raise your hands if ya feel the love, rock the streets til they also feel it.

shiny happy canadian monks too!

WHATS IT ALL ABOUT MONKIE ?

2008-03-23T03:51:00.000-05:00

What makes a monk Tick? What kind of mellows do they find in it? Why do it?

I had the fortune of posing a unique question to one of our teachers, Niranjana Swami, as he prepared to leave for Russia, back to his base of teaching Krishna Consciousness. He had been talking a few days back about the gift of the human body. Why just use it for eating sleeping mating and defending? aren't such pleasures available to other animals as well? We as humans have access to our inner senses as well. Why not try to experience life from that perspective?

He happens to be one of my favorite chanters of Bengali and Sanskrit verses glorifying Krishna and his devotees and so he led the chanting for about an hour.

The english translations reveal the deep sentiments in each song we sang and i realized that only a person experiencing life from within can write like this. It wasn't along the lines of the regular "i love you forever, unbreak my heart, hit me baby one more time, wanna be starting something" kind of songs. No sir! How bout this one:

1) The divine couple, Sri Sri Radha and Krsna, is my life and soul. In life or death I have no other refuge but Them.
2) In a forest of small kadamba trees on the bank of the Yamuna, I will seat the divine couple on a throne made of brilliant jewels.
3) I will anoint Their dark and fair forms with sandalwood paste scented with cuya, and I will fan Them with a camara whisk. Oh, when will I behold Their moonlike faces?
4) After stringing together garlands of malati flowers I will place them around Their necks, and I will offer tambula scented with camphor to Their lotus mouths.
5) With the permission of all the sakhis, headed by Lalita and Visakha, I will serve the lotus feet of Radha and Krsna.
6) Narottama dasa, the servant of the servant of Sri Krsna Caitanya Prabhu, longs for this service to the divine couple.

So I asked him why or what was so attractive about this process that made him give up his future of dreams and travel to Russia to teach? What was so awarding or rewarding?

He smiled and said something in five words alone that made the rest of my journey as a monk as clear as crystal clear water. I was so overjoyed and amazed at such a simple answer that i thought i'd enjoy this for a little while longer before you guys get to hear it:)

So I'll talk about it when I get back to America.

Way to keep ya'll in suspense eh? LOVE IT ! ! !

OK fine. How bout some pictures

2008-03-21T02:26:00.000-05:00

GOURA PURNIMA

2008-03-20T22:30:00.000-05:00

The Morning Of

I slept on the roof of the Chowpatty temple under a beautiful 90 percent full moon and so waking up this morning was very hard. I just wanted to lie there staring at the moon. It's Lord Caitanya's birthday, just stare at the moon! But no, Monks have to get up for meditation so I consoled my mind and woke up. My mind is like my own built in wife LOL. It's explained that when Krishna was on the planet, he performed his share of duties like any other human being- except that he's Krishna. He also had to get up for morning meditation and sometimes his queens would be so angry at the dawn for coming so quick. Now Krishna had to get outta bed and not lie next to them all morning. I'm no Krishna, but my mind can relate to them queens sometimes. The meditation was led by His Holiness Radhantath Swami, the spiritual guide for the devotees here in Chowpatty. It was very focused and sweet and many times i wanted to grab my camera but just couldn't leave. also the temple was so packed that if i left my spot i wouldn't get it back.

I found a place in one of the rooftop windows and took pictures for the second half of the morning program, greeting the Dieties. But then I couldn't get a picture of Lord Caitanya, si I'll post one later. By the way the internet in bombay rocks.

Kirtan was led by a visiting spiritual leader His Holiness NIranjana Swami, who visited Krishna lunch a few months back. you can check for pictures of him on the Krishna lunch website also.

the Videos and pictures will speak from here on. I'll be back later with more fun news.

IN PREPARATION

2008-03-20T00:50:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow we're celebrating a great festival called Goura Purnima. This morning's class instructed us to understand why Goura Purnima is available to us, especially in the west. Krishna plays different past times all over the universe, and those who give up their personal time to broadcast these past times are the most munificient. Srila Prabhupada, our movements founder is one such person, and we owe him a lot. If you love the food at Krishna Lunch, raise yo hands up! ! ! ha ha. Honestly, its by the endeavor to Please Krishna and develop genuine relationships with a deep spiritual meaning that Krishna lunch goes on. If you guys didn't come and eat, who would we cook for? this is called exchange of love. giver and taker. but it all started from the desiree of Srila Prabhupada to see a better world of people exchanging simple things like food as expressions of love. If you can make it, visit the temple in Alachua and share the fun of Goura Purnima.

kesh

SOME PHOTOS FOR YO MOTOS ! !

2008-03-19T01:32:00.000-05:00

We fed hundreds of holy men and women and then went to Varshana to play holi.

There was color everywhere! my feet are still red on the bottom from so much dye:) then the next day we visited my friend's cottage and swam in the holy river nearby.

Been having awesome meditation nights here and I have tons of FOTOS for Ya'll

P H E W ! ! !

2008-03-16T23:00:00.000-05:00

HOLA !

It's been a fun three days. I took a one day trip to Jaipur with my friend Advaita to see a kid he's sponsoring in one of the villages there. That was a very sweet experience seeing my friends extending themselves to others in their own way. Jaipur literally translates as the city of victory and is beautifully protected with forts all over the area. We took tons of pictures at the Amber fort and then in other places as well. More Pictures when I get back.

Back in Vrindavan we all went to our routine evening chanting and meditation with BB Govinda swami who leads beautiful chanting sessions for hours on end. He invited us to Varshana, a nearby holy town, for the festival of Holi. Holi is an ancient past time played by Krishna and his friends where natural color dye is thrown everywhere and on everyone and everything! It's a huge event and the roads were packed with people from all the surrounding villages. Over five thousand people gathered in Varshana and sang, danced, as well as playfully colored each other. Something also interesting one had to watch out for was the beating. YUP, the beating. On this day in Varshana, women carry sticks and beat anyone who throws dye on em. It's a pretty fun sight. All the guys carry around these armor looking things to protect themselves.

Yesterday We had lunch at the home of one of my God brothers Giridahari and then went for a swim in the Yamuna river. The Yamuna is a branch of the Ganges river that flows through Vrindavan and is considered even holier than the Ganges because Krishna played in there with his friends all the time. We had a nice swim in kind of a private area away from the normal pilgrim sites along the banks.

It was about 95 degrees here so walking in the sun exhausted me a bit and I slept in til 6 this morning. Today I plan to relax and do some serious meditation then leave for Bombay in the evening.

Caio!

if you can't see fotos on here, go to flickr and type in Keshinindia and it'll direct you to some fun pictures:)

2008-03-13T08:40:00.000-05:00

A few fun things happening! . . .

2008-03-12T03:58:00.000-05:00

INDIA AS I KNOW IT

The beat really starts to go on now. Internet down for two days, electricity in and out. But spiritually we're moving on up. There's so much to tell in so little space so i'll just let you guys see pictures! I've been hanging out with different monks everyday and learning so much! The morning meditations have been led by really sweet monks and it sets the tone for the rest of my day. My friend Advaita from Australia is here and we've become monk groupies ha ha. I mean these people have lived this lifestyle for 30, 40 years! Some people follow Brad and Angie, I follow these People. When you see someone who have learned to master their senses, teach others, and remain happier than thirteen year olds, you realize spirituality is worth every cent!

I'd write more details but in India right now I'm lucky to be writing at all. It's hard to get constant internet flow for those of you who are computer dependent---beware!

Also I decided to post the pictures on to flickr since its easier from this part of the world. Downloading can be no fun at times

ok, here you go!

these are my two friends and monk groupies Advaita and Bhakti Nilai from Australia and South Africa respectively.

You can also find more pictures on flickr.com. just type in keshinindia and some more should pop up.

I'm preparing a slide show for when i return!

More Monks!

2008-03-09T06:00:00.000-05:00

With the Goura Purnima festival approaching many devotees are pouring into Vrindavan. Of course amongs these are senior monks who have been practising for thirty years or more. being in their prescense is very inspiring for me. I long for the day when i can look back and say wow I've done this for thirty years!
This morning's meditation session was led by one such monk Param gati Swami, and the morning lecture was given by Bhaktivijnana Swami. (I'll pay you if you can pronounce that. Test on friday)
He spoke about developing relationships to a point where we live peacefully. He said that there has to be a foundation of awe and reverence for the person and then when that foundation is strong and the person lets you into their world you can have a more intimate relationship with them. Someone asked then that why do we see in some pictures of Krishna, or some stories, that his friends play roughly with him, or jump on his bed to wake him up, or tease him. (yup, you can play jokes on God, but the joke may end up on you:) )
His answer was that because these people are on the top level of understanding God and reverently serving him faithfully, now Krishna trusts that they won't breed contempt from his association.
After the lecture I spent the first of my day shopping for the temple. I wanted to get it all out of my head and then just focus and meditate and serve. So far so Good.

Realization:

Naturally we all want to be loved, but that joy only comes when our love becomes one with no desire for self pleasure; only pleasure for the beloved. When we can give whole-heartedly without expectations our lives are so sublime!

Again no pictures but I'll uploag them and you all can have a field day. I have pictures of cows and pigs and monkeys and monks and dieties and villages and traffic and real crowded busses and etc and etcccc

Celebrating A Legacy

2008-03-09T05:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had the good fortune of listening to three monks glorify one of our deceased monks who helped push the Hare Krishna movement forward. His name was Tamal Krishna Goswami.
From his initial meeting with our movement's founder, Srila Prabhupada, he completely showed symptoms of a first class disciple. A first class disciple is one who knows what the teacher wants before his/her teacher even asks for it. He was known to always think outside the box and do innovative things to help the movement in its early years. He was known to many as someone very diligent, punctual, strict in his monastic vows, and loyal to the service of his guru.
We all sat at the ISKCON center in Govardhana, a grazing pasture for cows since thousands of years. Govardhana is a very holy place of pilgrimage for Krishna devotees and while walking along the side street you may find many great yogis performing dandavat parikrama, prostrating themselves flat all around the hill which is about 12 miles or more.
After the talk we all had a nice chanting session and then were sumptously fed four different vegetable preparations including Kofta balls, cabbage subji, dahl, three tpes of sweets like gulab jumins, sweet rice, jalebis and a nice lemonade that made me miss you Krishna lunchers :)
I then had a nice conversation about monk life with one of the monks, His Holiness B B Govinda Swami and afterwards left for vrindavan.

Realization:
Holy Places aren't made of sticks and stones but of the people you associate with when you're in such a place. By serving these holy people you get their mercy to advance in spiritual consciousness and fully understand the goal of life.

A DAY IN DELHI

2008-03-08T10:54:00.000-06:00

Its always good to travel in India with a group so that the price becomes cheaper for travelling. Friday Sri Ram (the guy who plays the drum at Krishna Lunch) and Rupa wanted to find musical instruments in Delhi so I decided to tag along and get a Harmonium (that piano looking thing plaed at Krishna Lunch) for Mike (that guy... ) and JayaLila (that guy's wife). After morning meditations we left for what turned out to be a fascinating advnture. YUP! our driver was dozing off at teh wheel and so I kept clapping very loudly and annoyingly to keep him up. Indian traffic can look something like this in the bigger cities. The journey is so much fun and luckily Devotees are thought to constantly remember Krishna. So we all pay for his protection in every situation. especially traffic ones like these:)

ISKCON DELHI

We buy this amazing Harmonium (that music piano thingie) For just within the Price range. Normally scale changing Harmoniums cost up to Six hundred bucks in India but I had to use my bargaining skill :) and I did! We finall made our way to the temple and walked around the beautiful grounds complete with fountains, garden, exhibits, a restaurant and exquisite architecture. My camera ran outta batteries so I'll post pictures later on in a few days.

LET JAGGED, and BEYOND

2008-03-06T06:26:00.001-06:00

OK. . .

I'm in Vrindavan. wow!

SO here's what happened up til now. Ready? Set?

Tuesday:
I wake up with excitement about my flight today but feel a bit sick in the stomach. I ate very little yesterday so I’m not quite sure why I feel sick. Oh and then I am in Florida and its allergy season! That could be part of it. I take some yogurt and in fifteen minutes I feel a lot better. Kalakantha Prabhu notes jokingly this is not a good sign but the morning goes on smoothly from there.
At the airport my flight is delayed till two thirty, then three o’ seven and then ATC (air traffic control) lets the pilot know that all traffic is stopped from Orlando because it’s raining in Newark. Thinking of a thing we do at Krishna lunch when rain threatens our service I begin to pray to Krishna to stop the rain- I don’t want to miss my connecting flight so please- wait I want unmotivated love; not that I’ll love Krishna only if he stops the rain. So then I jokingly pray to Lord Indra, the demigod in charge of rain and remind him that Krishna once saved his devotees from a rainstorm many moons ago and all this took place in Vrindavan. I am trying to get to Vrindavan right now, you see.
The captain comes on right away; FAA says we can leave in 30 minutes. That’s better.
From the esoteric point of view I think Krishna is doing this to increase my eagerness to see the dahm. It’s like that frustrating game you play on a friend to keep them guessing which hand the coin is in. Yes, Krishna is a person; no, I’m not that qualified to play jokingly with him.

Realization:
The transcendental Autocrat is ever inviting us to associate with him through devotional loving exchanges. Better not to speculate what exchanges could be had, yet we should properly educate ourselves about matters beyond our sensuous gaze of inspection

V R I N D A V A N A

The flight was amazing, very smooth and of course, dressed like a monk i got so many questions. I met two students who were coming to India for the first time, completely unaware of how to even take a taxi. When we landed I took them to our Delhi Temple and a room was prepared for them. My driver speaks zero English and by Krishna's grace my Hindi came back immediately so i could translate between the students i met on the plane as well as tell him where i wanted to stay. For some reason when I'm in difficult language barrier situations, I'm forced to remember everything. If asked to just speak Hindi, I'll probably stammer or something. Indian traffic is so exciting, you can't fall asleep no matter how tired you may feel! There's constant horns and traffic jams and cows and ppl and everything else imaginable on the road.

I finally get to the temple guesthouse at three am. Devotees are already waking up for morning meditation and I run into a few old friends. I'm exhausted but wide awake so i decide to go for the morning program also. After that Vrindavan Parikrama,a two hour barefoot walk around the holy city, paying my respects to the different temple and deities and of course stopping for a quick drink from the Yamuna River. I missed everything so much and I am going to use every moment I have while here to serve the village and devotees. The monkeys and cows are already up and running about the place. The pigs are still asleep and little new born puppies are everywhere.

I went to sleep around 9 am and woke up at 4pm still feeling a little jet lagged. there's more to tell but I'll write later.

much love

Kesh