I've Been Wanting to

write a little more but
the raod and the internet are two different places
and sometimes they never meet.
Today the met and i met many emails and pokes and friend requests and invitations.
I'll get a camera today and post some pictures while i have a computer available
Florida was fun, didn't see Jackson or Chris or Max, wanted to.
Houston was awesome, Dallas rocked. Rupa has the best family in the world.
Tucson is cool and hot and open minded,
Teaching keeps on and learning keeps on
livng keeps on and the bliss keeps on.
Betsy (the Van) went back to Car head, but fred, the Minivan
is coming soon :)

Climbing Jacob's Ladder

"... every rung goes higher, higher..."
Often the west is described as an "instant sense gratification" culture and being born in the west, a monk's life poses some interesting challenges. Monastic life is usually meant to be practiced in peaceful settings like cloistered walls as seen in European countries, Temples as seen in Asia or other gatherings of ascetics in different cultures. In each system the monk's goal is to go deeper into understanding his lifestyle as well as presenting it to the general masses. Each monk is encouraged to study, learn and digest the lessons learned, and then present it according to his capacity.
For me, the gift of easily making friends with others has been a great strength, and for those inclined to asceticism, I serve as an ice breaker, a person who tries to show the lifestyle in practice. To accomplish this means to be where people are but my true goal isn't to recruit monks; rather I want to develop deep friendships with others who are truly loving their life choices. If during that course of human interaction I meet persons interested in my lifestyle I serve as a small guide toward this lifelong decision into monasticism. Yet I am awed by some friends I know who spend a lot of time in nature hiking and exploring all she has to display from God's unfathomable art room. The level of friendship I want to develop with people is one of genuine respect for each person's calling as well as the humility to learn for such persons principles they live by.
The world in itself requires deeper and higher journeys in whatever one may do. To be a successful anybody means to act with deeper love and enthusiasm in that field. For monks, or devotees of Krishna in general, our goal is to develop unalloyed love for the Supreme Personality of Godhead. At first one may have the needed faith to "begin" the bhakti yoga process which leads to association of others who have similar interests, some on the same level, some newer in understanding and others advanced on the path. From association one begins to act more seriously which then causes unwanted desires in the heart to weaken and ultimately disappear, leaving one fixed in his determination and develop a deeper taste attachment and ultimately pure unalloyed devotion.
I am traveling at the moment with four other students and the task of presenting this philosophy purely that I am not only speaking, but more importantly acting properly as shown by my predecessors. More specific details will come as our journey to learn and share Krishna Consciousness with all.

Greater Love Each Man Should

A monastic life is one of intense study, reflection and proper dispensation after due digestion of what has been learned. On a daily basis we have lectures, open to all, discussing verses from the Srimad Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita which can last from ten minutes to five hours, depending on the speaker or audience. Today was a good discussion, lasting for two hours unfolding with eye opening questions and answers, sobering moments, and heated pure straight talk.
The Verse and Purport was Srimad Bhagavatam 1.1.10: "O learned one, in this iron age of Kali men have but short lives. They are quarrelsome, lazy, misguided, unlucky and, above all, always disturbed."


One of the questions asked by one of my students was why the process of self realization seem so foreign and difficult. The answer was simple but deep as we went through the verse and purport: because no one told us about it.
Self Realization involves an active decision to refrain the senses from their sense objects and engage oneself in higher duties for his, as well as the spiritual benefit of humanity at large. To become a competent teacher means becoming a good student- controlling the senses, learning culture, humility, tolerance, and many other virtues which develop over a course of time. But the fact is no one told any of us, especially westerners that this sort of deeper life is available to anyone and everyone. Not necessarily for all to become ascetics, but for all to have access to the reasoning behind a person's decision to leave secular society and dedicate himself to rigid principles.
These principles can be practiced by all, regardless of occupational work. For example, no one ever recommends celibacy with good educated reasoning behind it, or abstinence from intoxication, meat eating and gambling given with practical explanations. Growing up was such an interesting feat for me; I always knew that I wanted to pursue monastic life, but as grade 6 came along, a big ugly face stared at me. It was the face of peer pressure: you just couldn't remain a virgin past 6 grade. And the reasoning- semen will spill out of every part of your body at any time and so now was the time to learn about sex life in order to prevent embarrassment when you a). coughed, b). sneezed, or c) cried. If you had too much semen after 6th grade, your body could let it out at anytime and any place thus exposing you to everyone as a virgin.
What a hellish experience it was for many young kids going into their teens; and then came 18, 19 or 21, if not earlier, when you then have to drink yourself silly in order to really be considered a normal person. Luckily I escaped that phase by the mercy of the devotees who accepted me into the monastery.


There I learned that Celibacy was good for you! The semen, or fountain of youth would be well preserved to give one stronger brain cells, sharper intuition and finer tissues in the body, especially with proper diet and hygiene. One monk told me once that God gave men two heads, with only enough blood to be used by one at any given time. So someone who was addicted to sex life only willingly spilled out his vital life while someone who preserved, or used his blood for his brains, actually experienced deeper pleasures from higher levels of consciousness. Abstinence also made makes one more potent when he does decide to father offspring who may not be so susceptible to disease due to weak immune systems.
And on went the conversation this morning...
We talked about the futility of gambling, whether in Vegas or at 7 Eleven, and how people are led like donkeys following carrots dangling from a stick tied over their heads- always going forward for that sweet carrot but never really taking a real bite of it. And whoever told you that meat eating was one of the causes behind loneliness, wars and other negative things going on in society? Yes. As the saying goes, you are what you eat. Animals live in fear of each other and therefore defend their dear lives by living in hiding in tall trees or deep holes and burrows. When we eat such creatures who die in fear, what should we expect- a world where every man is after the others well being? I'll let your mind go off on this topic for yourself, or email me and we can discuss.
The conclusion of class was this: greater love has no man than to use his life, intelligence, wealth, and whatever else he may have for the benefit of another. When we educate people out of love, they will sense that love and try to make life more pleasant around them. A monks' life is dedicated to this service for humanity at large- teaching and telling what no one else took the time to tell or teach.

On the Road Again

OK.
I'm back thanks to another push from Jackson. "Whats going on in YOUR life Kesh?" Just some "monkin' business? Do tell..."
So, the winter months just totally kicked my robes, I've taken two more monks under my care; or more like I get to think I'm the boss every now and then. Luckily, in our philosophy we're all loving servants of each other and ultimately, of the Supreme Lovable, Krishna. Training new monks, adventures with the police in Bible Belt villes, giving lectures, cooking a lot- especially this of late love affair with corn bread and fried okra...
Most of all I've been growing within. Looking at the world around me and wanting to share a simplier space and time with each individual I meet has awakened in me a need to go out on the road and share this wonderful time with as many others as possible.
The order Given five hundred years ago By Lord Caitanya was to make every living being fortunate by giving them a glimpse of India's spiritual wisdom. When I look at the western world and all its development in terms of technology, or science or whatever other craze people are after, yet still unsatisfied, I can't help but wonder how, the people of this so called third world place are so happy! Its an inner satisfaction I see when walking around the villages of Vraj. And then it dawns on me. This is what has been given to me, a true sense of peace; one that I'm now obliged to share with whoever I meet, whereever I may meet them. So come next week I'm on the road, and meeting and sharing is what I plan to do.
Hope this is a good start Jackson... I'll write more soon. I'll be back on track in no time. Twice a week, something new.
Just consider me coming out of hybernation at the moment.
And guess what? First stop... In your neigbhorhood.

Bringing It Home

A few days ago a friend who follows my blog and whose adventurous love for the great outdoors wrote ma a nice note about goings on in his life. He mentioned that he enjoys reading my blog but get little knowledge about my actual life from them. So after careful consideration I decided to write today on why I chose a monastic life. Of course there are many paths and individuals following those paths, but for this blog I'll stick to the Krishna Consciousness Movement and my, as well as some others' involvement in it.

The hope of a parent is to see that their child is educated, and happy in life, and some, if they could, would try as hard as possible to shield their children's innocence form time. My innocence was broken at an early age, 6 years old, as Politicians in my country staged coups and imposed curfews on the citizens during their fight to the top of the mountain and occupy some post. Again, on my eleventh birthday, the civil war that lasted for more than 10 years in Liberia began. I quickly put away my toys and became mother's helper, making sure everything went smoothly in running our household, now also joined by other family and friends whose areas had been severely affected by war. As time went by I was practically and adult before 15 and my dreams of becoming a Franciscan monk was fading away as the mode of life, keeping your head above water, crept in. Then something else threatened- recruitment of child soldiers, which urged my Father to bring me to the US to live with him.

My father had a zillion plans for my life and worked hard to give me a comfortable means for studying and then realizing his dreams for me. But mother had taught me to make decisions I will live with for the rest of my life and blame no one later for "making me" live a life I didn't want to. In America thanks to the Media, the lives of everyone was an already opened book or a book waiting to be opened by some luck of the draw act- win the lottery and you're on TV; Save a dog from drowning, blow up buildings, molest someone- anyone could be famous in an instant. I also watched my dad struggle daily as he drove from New Jersey to New York to work and then on the weekends spend most of his time on the sofa in front of Headline News pouring in with more and more negative things happening in the world. From my own experience, children are impressionable and so I began to really question the dream my dad had for me vs the monastic life I wanted to lead since I was 5. What kind of culture was this where people worked so hard 11 and a half months out of the year for two weeks of vacation where they spend their hard earnings on Jack Daneils, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, Jose Quervo and a T-shirt that says they did?

In Africa I lived in a community with Jews, Hindus, Christians, and Muslims shared everything. Once I asked my mom why we had so many mixed bowls and plates and she mentioned that if I wanted a complete set of china, I had to go and retrieve them from the neighbors. But I also couldn't take their bowls and plates back empty. Here, I saw a deep resentment of individuals based on externals- religion, skin color, this, that, etc.

So when I came across Four Krishna monks and two nuns on a busy day in Seattle, I had to dig deeper. I visited them almost daily for three weeks straight trying to understand why 25 people lived so happily sharing rooms in a house meant for maybe 6 people. Why were they so peaceful? Why was I not satisfied although I was earning and living as I desired- or more as I had fallen into the pattern of living. Talking with some of them was even more incredible! These were young men and women from well-to-do families who just didn't find satisfaction in their daily life course and so dared to do the extraordinary. Of course their families freaked out beyond reason; got cut out of wills, others "deprogrammed" back into the "normalcy" of society, and others who had everything, like on monk who lived with his mother in Beverly Hills in a mansion, just decided to move into such a situation.

So why did i do it? For me, sharing things with people was natural in my upbringing, I shared a bedroom with bunk beds occupied by my brothers and the best part, the music, was something I did everyday with my Mother and Step-Father. When my mom would come home after work, in the evenings she would sit on the porch with my Step father and sing songs they learned from their parents, for Church, or from growing up amongst friends. So when the monastery came alive at 4:30 am with Songs of the Spiritual Master, I was more than happy to Join in. Also the topic of God was not doctrine but very practical- we have a relationship with God, Krsna as he's called in Vedic thought, and to show our love for him, we did something for him. Just as I saw my mom cooking and sharing with the Neighbors, or many guests coming over on the weekends to spend the day in our yard on the beach, or other personal dealings, Service to God then means that He is a person and doing things in the association of devotees shows love for Him. We, in the monastery also came from various religious or nonreligious backgrounds. We developed great friendships with each other based on service to a common goal, we protected each other and cultivated each other. This was nothing like I had seen as a result of the Civil wars or my introduction to America. More interestingly, people in the war were before very close friends, and due to intoxication of power, were now hunting each other down.

Come see a world that's filled with pain

broken homes and scavenges

where hatred and strife

seems not to cease

where children laugh and play

as kids together

then grow as men and fight

to kill their pals.

Where friends betray each other and then sing "Soul rest in Peace" -

I had to change my world, even if it meant sleeping in a sleeping bag next to five or five hundred people with that same goal. I prefer living simply with a small bowl of Good healthy food, than a fridge supply of junk, filling the empty gap of satisfaction in the body with food prepared by a machine or someone who takes the place of the machine, does his job, care nothing about you, but cares about his paycheck at the close of the week. When mother made food, it was infused with her conscious love for her children and this same, or even better conscious was in the minds of the cooks in the monastery. No pay, just love for those you live with and a desire to see them satisfied eating food offered in Love to Krsna.

In this realm I live in now, no one who deeply understands this Krishna Conscious philosophy lives to exploit anyone else. We're learning daily that Love means self sacrifice, and knowledge of the Supreme Person is very vast. Not limited to cast or creed. When a person lives without fear- without feeling threatened by the next person, then human life becomes a grand vehicle to drive us to our ultimate goal- to build a world where God is real and we are real and our relationship between God, man, and nature is harmonious :)

Good Morning. Hare Krishna.

AT SECOND GLANCE (free writing)

Although I hate the cold like anything, sometimes mother nature puts on such awesome shows that I can't help but stand outside and marvel.
On my way to the temple one morning I was fortunate to look up and see about three shooting stars; another time on a full moon night tons of deer were playing around in the yard, which was super cool because from where I stood I could see little deer silhouettes running and jumping around the yard. My favorite was two mornings ago when I walked out to go to the temple. I seriously though i was walking upside down!
There was frost everywhere and the place was a bit dark, but the ground was tinkling, reflecting the light from the sky. It was like stars on the floor and stars up above and for a moment I thought someone slipped me happy drugs while I slept.
But all this is Krsna's doing. When I think of the phrase "God is great", I remember these simple things or the amazing people i meet on this spiritual journey. Beauty is everywhere and at anytime, and one just needs to pause awhile:
pause awhile pause awhile
in the humdrum of the city
and behind the cloistered wall
in the early morning
when the shadows start to fall
to see creation bending to the maker o fit all
and all you have to do is pause awhile
(learned that when i was growing up, can't remember where, but still remember it)

If you can get hold of a copy of the Bhagavad- gita and read through he tenth chapter, you'll be amazed how easy it is to remember Krsna- in everything.
Like any artist with his or her specific style and character, Krsna, with but a spark of his splendor pervades this cosmic art show.
Foolish ones may think that all this just popped out of nowhere,
but as a monk, most of my time si spend in deep thought, even while acting.
So here's a thought: apparently it took millions and billions of years for evolution to get us where we are now. OK I respect that. But why then doest it take seconds now, to see a few shooting stars, or moon cycles and seasons? when did everything become so organized? And if its all randomly acting, why should i trust the weatherman?


Hmmmmm...
But the world i see today is one where people aren't allowed to think about whats not set before them as the status quo. Take a few moments and people watch- its like a robot show. Some being hauled off to here or there, others relaxing from the haul, etc. A friend once reminded me that "everyone else except you monks, have to work for their living, you know."
So there's this almost unspoken consensus that monks don't work. OK then, I might say, when was the last time you stood up from being pushed around?
"I'm not pushed around" might be the respond.
Do you get hungry, thirsty, horny, angry?
"these are human, natural human happenings" might come another response.
So then, why do people strive SO hard for happiness? Its also Natural, like other urges. So far in life I've come across no one who looks forward to being unhappy. No one wants to die, no one wants to get old. Are they all now "Natural"
I've come to understand that these are "Natural" for the body;but the embodied, is of a different nature. That nature one can come to understand when one rises above and conquers these other "natural" habits forced upon is due to our present illusory state of being. So whats a monks job?
Learning to rise above these urges, rising above these urges, and then teaching others how to do the same :)
Quite contrary form the world where selfish ism is the norm. Whats mine is mine, and I won't you be as good as I am.
So visit us monks more often and learn ways of old. learn to rise and see the free light and the spirit. learn to be rare.
IMHO

ABANDON SHIP

The merry go round is picking up speed as the fuel of survival is poured into the fire of life.
Wake up, shower if you have time, if none, arm and hammer your underarm, gel your hair, smell for the freshest clothes in the pile and off you go. Your mind was at school before you got there, you already heard the teacher say what he just said, about what you'll never use when you get out of here, but who cares, when all this is done you'll be taking a break for a few minutes. The break was gone before you got there because you mind took it to your next class you'll have in an hour so you sit for a second to watch the world go by. She's cute, maybe I should talk to her, but the clothes you have on warn you that she might not wanna talk so you wait for tomorrow when you'll be all dressed up! before tomorrow comes your mind already fell in love and had the best time with the girl you saw on the break your mind took ahead of you- now you're preparing to dump her... whats her name again? So class is over and you head on home completely exhausted to do anything else because your mind just did ten million things you didn't get to experience. So you sit in front of the TV, no facebook, maybe you have an email or a post from that friend you haven't texted in-oh, 45 seconds? So you flip the channel, check facebook myspace and feel hungry. But the kitchen is 10 feet away and thats too far! AHHHHHHH


so you sit in slow motion as the world goes by fast trying to catch up with your mind who's now back in bed calling you but you still have to do that homework. So you start the homework which take a few hours in human time and a few ages in mind land and then its time to sleep. But you're hungry so you make something finally but then while eating you get a text from so and so to come to so and so party. I really should sleep you think but what will that friend think about you if yo sleep? So you smell more clothes, but it doesn't matter cuz you're going to be in an atmosphere where the smoke and everything else hides the smell. But did I mention how awesome and good you look today?
so its midnight and you really
should leave now cuz
you're feeling a
little sleepy
but
that cute girl from
earlier just showed up
so maybe you should talk to her now.....
Her boyfriends at the party! Dammmmm
ABANDON SHIP ! ! !

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.