So far, the first 6 months of 2012 has been, what i would like to call it, a "molding by doing" 6 months. Growing in the Krsna consciousness movement, I always avoided big lessons simply by watching and observing others learn through their own lessons, how to serve Krsna. I would watch my god-siblings get chastised for spacing out, being tardy, being neglectful, or whatever it was, and would try hard not to repeat what they were chastised for. In this way I eluded chastisement by observing. Of course there were times I was also on the receiving end for something I became over confident of, or some other reason Krsna wanted me to learn something. In this way we hope to learn and advance on the spiritual path with a focus- determined focus on cutting out deeply rooted attachments to the material conception of life.
This year, the lessons has been mostly about relating to, or caring for others. When I joined the movement as a teenager, it was all about this mission to give Krsna consciousness to others, it was about the people. We woke up early, chanted, worshipped the Deity, ate, and did everything to prime ourselves for meeting people and being beacons so that through our interactions, people could awaken within themselves an interest in Krsna. As I grew, and that good old Mr. Lethargy and Mrs Complacency moved in with me, it became all about me again. And although I did the same activities, it wasn't from a perspective of "for others,". It was just routine. Or so it seemed.
So back to this year:
I got sick with hives all over my body in Vrindavan in January. Talk about purification. And up until the last week of that three week experience, I had no help from anyone; almost like the people around me were afraid they might catch whatever was happening to me. But when you're lying there for hours, you get to think. And one thing that always came to mind was what is the lesson here. Then I came to the conclusion that I was getting some purification in the dahm. True, but why? I may not know, but one lesson was, I am experiencing this so that I know what someone else is going through in case i stumble upon a new devotee in this situation.
Then I went home to Liberia after 18 years. I spent a lot of time observing my mother and her interaction with others, trying to get a glimpse into my roots- why do I behave a certain way. Sharing Krsna consciousness was always simple for me because growing up I saw my family invite so many people in. There are five us, biologically, but umpteen of us, nurtured and cared for by my mother. There was always, and still is, 18 years later, at least 4 or 5 other people living with us, cared for equally, etc etc. So the asram atmosphere was simple, at least in my head; invite people in, care for them, and now, add Krsna. And give them knowledge so that they can become fearless in the material ocean. One statement I heard my mom say this year: "if you speak truthfully, you are protected by that truth and God."
I learned to be more grateful to people who open their houses to me, and to be clear in my communication. I come from a different country and culture, and so sometimes, although speaking English, some things said could be taken completely out of context- and used against you!
About time and dealing with people, I learned that we have limited time when introducing a new person to Krsna consciousness. For whatever time you have their attention, give them Krsna, be a medium. I'm not there to be psychologist, or fix-you-upper. No. I'm there to show the benefits of focused consciousness- to the extent that I have experienced it. To create good fortune for others, just as someone did for me 15 years ago.
I really learned through some not so good experiences not to waste time. You snooze, you loose. If someone is inspired to do some service, and they approach you, and you have a capacity or facility to help them, do it. Don't hesitate. They slip out of your hands like a castle built upon a sandy beach! *gone too soon* So I have to be sharp and learn urgency. I have seen many young enthusiastic people looking for something to do, and then fall away with the flickering mind simply because I was preoccupied with something else.
Most importantly, as this year goes on with its lessons, I am learning that Krsna is the driving force behind it all. Yes it's hard to see him in everything, and something I see him after the fact that I fell face flat into some fresh cow dung :). Deep inside, as I go through certain experiences and still keep a small spark of hope that it too shall pass, and learn available lessons, I see that Krsna is teaching me like the mother in law teaching the daughter in law by using the daughter as medium.
I must say I can't claim to be that intimate with Krsna, but I want to be; to be dedicated to his mission one hundred percent. And it will happen in due course. And yes it scares the living daylights out of me to ask such a thing, because the cutting of material consciousness isn't pretty.
But in the end, everything will be OK. And if its not OK, its not the end :)
This year, the lessons has been mostly about relating to, or caring for others. When I joined the movement as a teenager, it was all about this mission to give Krsna consciousness to others, it was about the people. We woke up early, chanted, worshipped the Deity, ate, and did everything to prime ourselves for meeting people and being beacons so that through our interactions, people could awaken within themselves an interest in Krsna. As I grew, and that good old Mr. Lethargy and Mrs Complacency moved in with me, it became all about me again. And although I did the same activities, it wasn't from a perspective of "for others,". It was just routine. Or so it seemed.
So back to this year:
I got sick with hives all over my body in Vrindavan in January. Talk about purification. And up until the last week of that three week experience, I had no help from anyone; almost like the people around me were afraid they might catch whatever was happening to me. But when you're lying there for hours, you get to think. And one thing that always came to mind was what is the lesson here. Then I came to the conclusion that I was getting some purification in the dahm. True, but why? I may not know, but one lesson was, I am experiencing this so that I know what someone else is going through in case i stumble upon a new devotee in this situation.
Then I went home to Liberia after 18 years. I spent a lot of time observing my mother and her interaction with others, trying to get a glimpse into my roots- why do I behave a certain way. Sharing Krsna consciousness was always simple for me because growing up I saw my family invite so many people in. There are five us, biologically, but umpteen of us, nurtured and cared for by my mother. There was always, and still is, 18 years later, at least 4 or 5 other people living with us, cared for equally, etc etc. So the asram atmosphere was simple, at least in my head; invite people in, care for them, and now, add Krsna. And give them knowledge so that they can become fearless in the material ocean. One statement I heard my mom say this year: "if you speak truthfully, you are protected by that truth and God."
I learned to be more grateful to people who open their houses to me, and to be clear in my communication. I come from a different country and culture, and so sometimes, although speaking English, some things said could be taken completely out of context- and used against you!
About time and dealing with people, I learned that we have limited time when introducing a new person to Krsna consciousness. For whatever time you have their attention, give them Krsna, be a medium. I'm not there to be psychologist, or fix-you-upper. No. I'm there to show the benefits of focused consciousness- to the extent that I have experienced it. To create good fortune for others, just as someone did for me 15 years ago.
I really learned through some not so good experiences not to waste time. You snooze, you loose. If someone is inspired to do some service, and they approach you, and you have a capacity or facility to help them, do it. Don't hesitate. They slip out of your hands like a castle built upon a sandy beach! *gone too soon* So I have to be sharp and learn urgency. I have seen many young enthusiastic people looking for something to do, and then fall away with the flickering mind simply because I was preoccupied with something else.
Most importantly, as this year goes on with its lessons, I am learning that Krsna is the driving force behind it all. Yes it's hard to see him in everything, and something I see him after the fact that I fell face flat into some fresh cow dung :). Deep inside, as I go through certain experiences and still keep a small spark of hope that it too shall pass, and learn available lessons, I see that Krsna is teaching me like the mother in law teaching the daughter in law by using the daughter as medium.
I must say I can't claim to be that intimate with Krsna, but I want to be; to be dedicated to his mission one hundred percent. And it will happen in due course. And yes it scares the living daylights out of me to ask such a thing, because the cutting of material consciousness isn't pretty.
But in the end, everything will be OK. And if its not OK, its not the end :)
