PUNISHMENT

For us who grew up in the west, a deep understanding of sinful activities and its reactions were never quite well explained. God hates sin, we were told, and one who sins goes to eternal damnation, never to be reinstated by divine grace- except if you accept such and such person and such and such path. This is the only way. So a person became hard-hearted very quickly and either (a), rejected the idea of someone so unforgiving, and usually for the silliest of crimes, as in the case of a kid like Aladdin who “gotta steal to live, tell you all about it when he's got the time”,or (b) became so afraid of the notion of eternal suffering that they took to religion like stink on funk; fanatically rejecting their own kinsmen if such people behaved contradictory to the laws of God.

Yes, I was in category (a), but couldn't reject God completely; funny enough, after studying his very creation, and the nature of beings. How long can you really be angry at someone? How deep was your relationship with that person anyway? So if I could eventually forgive and forget even the worst of crimes, and God couldn't then, forgive me this sin, I have a quality that God doesn't have... .

I can forgive! Regardless of the persons nationality, religious affiliation, etc etc. So then God isn't a big deal. And no need to worry about that person we so much dread. If I can forgive and God can't, or if I have a form, even though illusory as some may claim, and God is formless, or if I, by my own will can have as many children as I want, but God, that oh so great being, can only beget one, and sorry to say, we deserve eternal hell because we killed him; (well not me, but so distant relative 2000 some odd years ago), then again, I one up God in many ways. No need for God then. But people walk around daily in the material atmosphere propounding such ridiculous philosophies of sinners in the hands of an angry God, or God has no form, or we're all made of chemicals, to name a few. Hm.

Yes I am back in India, and can sit from afar and write this, but that's the point- I can sit. And think.

In the bhakti tradition, God has a different face. A face more acceptable and lovable, not just because the sages needed some being to counteract the above conceptions, but because they have experienced such a personality through deep awareness, action, and full surrender. Srila Prabhupada writes that Krsna wants us more in the spiritual world than we are willing to go back there. God turns no one away. As for relationship, we, us and God, (from now on I'll say Krsna), have a very deep and close relationship; each person on a very individual level. There's something that every being has that only he/she can give to Krsna through loving interactions. And the Spiritual realm is unlimited in space and time, where as the material world is limited, so there is room for every entity in this realm, in that realm. The bhakti scriptures gives us deep information with even deeper realizations from experienced people who have seen that realm and who live in that consciousness.

In fact the many traditions and divisions of faith are there to help a person gradually rise in consciousness from low material sense gratification to high ever increasing spiritual bliss. No one religious tradition has all the answers, rather, each tradition has codes and answers that people can accept in their time place and circumstance. For example math is math, but 2^nd grade math can't be taught in the 10^th grade. So Krsna is Krsna, but not every one can understand his nature fully. So according to time, place and circumstance, Krsna reveals himself differently. Look at the world, there are some people who you wouldn't just freely hang out with; perhaps because of their consciousness, or qualities, etc. Some we would lie intimately with, while others we'll never let close to our bedroom.

So where does sin fit in? Sin means action that keep us away from understanding our deeper relationship with Krsna. I once saw a sticker which read; “we are not punished for our sins, but by them.” So who's the one doing the punishing? The very person engaged in the sinful act. As you sow, so shall you reap. We are so much blinded by the senses that we see no deeper than the mind; if it feels good, do it. So we go on doing what feels good; the example of the camel chewing thorny twigs applies here. The camel loves thorny branches, and so he eats as much as possible, but as he chews, the thorn cuts his tongue and he bleeds. The taste of that blood mixed with twig then seems ever so delicious for him.

So we forget that the reason we inhabit different forms is due to activities in the past that didn't foster desires for deeper self realization, and if we perform similar activities now, self realization will be very difficult work. Each sensual activity creates the need to do more sensual activities. Sin 101.

Self realization begins when a person asks the simple, but sublime question. “why am I suffering?”

So to wrap up here, from my hideaway in India, real knowledge begins with proper understanding of the self, the supreme self, and our relationship. And acting under the influence of ignorance is the greatest sin, because it keeps us apart from that most amazing personality, Krsna, who is ever inviting us to come and associate with him, tend the cows, play in the dust of Vrindavan, swim in the Yamuna, etc etc. So give Aladdin his bread, he needs it to live, read that book, Bahgavad Gita as it is, and try to apply the knowledge in your life. Until next time....

From a Love of God Perspective.. free write.

On Farming and stuff...

I overhear and sometimes take part in discussions on the need of developing farm communities so that we can be well sustained in times to come. Mostly the energy in such conversations become tense because most of us don't feel ready to move into that sort of space and change our lifestyles. It takes a lot of work. There's often complaint of it not being practical, or not matching one's nature, or too complicated.

Over the last few weeks, as I prepare a seminar on making new devotees, this topic pops up many times. The reason is not just to feed people and give them a nice place to stay in the country away from the cities, but more on the question of quality. Quality breeds quality. The vedic purpose for samskaras is to produce quality people; quality living, and quality development of one's dormant relationship with Krsna. Regardless of how hard it may be, the quality work we put into something will ensure a quality result.

Evert parent wants the best for their child, and for that, they insure them, send them to carefully picked schools, scrutinize their association, worry about them, etc etc. Love is something that forces a person to act on a quality platform. I've even heard that Mother Yashoda has a special breed of cows that are fed special grass for producing the best milk which will be churned into butter for Krsna. So if we think of Krsna as our child, and we want to give him the best, knowing well that giving Krsna the best in any situation will mean, ultimately, the best for us, then we should consider farming and cow protection a means for giving the best to Krsna. This requires contemplation; and contemplation on service to Krsna means contemplation on Krsna. So from a love of God perspective we should have farms. We can learn from those who have proper farms, regardless if they happen to be devotees or not. When we begin to express our care for Krsna in this way, I think we can develop deep affection for Krsna, which also means for Krsna's devotees. Would I rather give Krsna, my son in the form of the deity, fresh milk from the cow, or milk bought from the store; tomatoes, potatoes or whatever fruits and vegetables bought with harmful chemicals sprayed on them, or one picked from the garden? And as far as hard work is concerned, would I rather work hard for eternal purposes, or for temporary needs? Remember, Krsna lives in a village, not in a sky scraper town. Wouldn't it be nice if we can prepare ourselves for life there, by practicing here? OK, you live in the city, and according to your psycho-physical nature you cannot live on a farm; I suggest supporting a farm, or those who wish to develop one. After all isn't it a duty thing for those who hold houses? And you can come on weekends to the beautiful farm, get your vegetables, get a peace of mind from the city, and show the example for those who have similar aspirations.

Not an essay, just a few thoughts in my mind put on paper.

One more thing before I go... Our Spiritual Master asked for it. Isn't it said somewhere, someplace, in some verse, that by satisfying the Spiritual Master, one satisfies Krsna? And who does it benefit? Us. No one but us. So basically we are becoming lackadaisical in our own self realization and growth.  

Oh Oh Oh.. and...

It doesn't have to be some huge thing. Start simple, start small. But start.

PULL

Yes, PULL!


That is the feeling I got after I woke up from this evening's nap. I am about to drive a few ungodly hours to the divine ISV (Iskcon Silicon Valley, or Iskcon Sankirtan Village, as I prefer to call it) and get the association of the great souls who live there. Krsna reminds me through that "pull" from within, that the reason for visiting holy places is not to just see the place, but to hear from the sadhus who live there, associate with them, aspire to BE like them; less one still remains a cow or an ass.

I am pulled from within to BE a devotee of Krsna, and not just go through the emotional joy ride of the "look" of a devotee. You know, that feeling one gets when the dhottis fits just right today, and the chaddar hangs quite well, even as you're dancing in kirtan bliss. I guess it can be applied to saris too, but I wouldn't know much about that in this life time. I did wear a sari for a play, it was worn as a dhotti, and felt quit nice and flowy..... (ok, back to the pull)



When there is proper hearing in the association of devotees, and especially a point that is made again and again, there just must, at least for me I'll speak, be contemplation. Contemplation must be followed by a resolve, a desire to act! This is where one's romantic love story turns into ________ (insert your super hero of choice) and one is faced with wild adventures.

The journey within is far more action packed than the hour, or four, depending on if you watched the extended version, of your Lord of the Rings, Harry Porter, or Temple of Doom. That person who looks so effulgent outside is now faced with the dark road inside. Envy, pride, madness, you name it, they're there to greet you! And the king of the castle, that eternal enemy known as Dr. Evil, wrong screenplay, that eternal enemy known as LUST, is there hiding in the very fabric of your existence. When you thought your had him down by tight sadhana, he popped up in the form of the desire from profit, fame and distinction. So day by day you fight. You dicide that " I want to go back to Krsna, and serve him." Serve him? I guess so. So my lofty idea of wanting to be a cowherd boy or a gopi, or Father Yasoda has to be based on service? PHEW... pause....

Yes, the person I am most envious of and most lusty towards is that person named Krsna, that spy who loves me, that guy who unlike my most beloved wife, son, daughter, friend or whoever, will do anything for me. He'll even sit there with me in the bathroom during my cleaning moments. Actually without his help I wouldn't know what to clean, or where to clean. He even accompanies the worm in that cleansed substance that was just dropped off at the pool; I mean seriously, has your other half fulfilled that part in the "for better or worse" clause?

So why am I envious of such a person? Because I want to be like him, equal to him, I want to BE him. And all I seem to do over the years, or lifetimes, is to make blunders and show how I'll never be him, because he is One without a Second.

So with humility and a resolution to free myself from all this dust accumulated for years on end, I decide to go with the pull, to be a devotee, and not just look like one. To sing for Krsna's pleasure, and not to hear myself thinking that I am singing so nicely. To give Krsna to others and step out of the way, less I contiminate them with my own god project, which wouldn't work anyways since they're on a god project journey of their own.

To finish this rambling, we have embarked on this journey back to sanity, and when Krsna comes in, everyone else, even that lust guy, has to pack up and leave. They all become squatters, and Krsna needs the whole heart, all four chambers, to himself..and you. But like before, he is always there with us at every step. He carries what we lack, and preserves what we have, and he knows how deep we really want to go. He'll take us no further if we don't want it.

This is Krsna. Wonderful Krsna.

"O son of Maharaja Nanda (Krsna), I am Your eternal servitor, yet somehow or other I have fallen into the ocean of birth and death. Please pick me up from this ocean of death and place me as one of the atoms at Your lotus feet."

Intermission

cetasā sarva-karmāṇi

cetasā sarva-karmāṇi


mayi sannyasya mat-paraḥ


buddhi-yogam upāśritya


mac-cittaḥ satataḿ bhava


In all activities just depend upon Me and work always under My protection. In such devotional service, be fully conscious of Me. (Bhagavad-Gita 18:57)






Blessings come in disguise, in situations where one might wonder what the h3ll am I doing here, of whats the purpose of all this. I came to a conclusion in my young life that I would like to be a part of a deeper change; a healing change. What's been done's been done, can't change it, but with proper consciousness and action, the future can manifest wonderful things.


As spiritual beings we are part of a greater whole who has a massive plan for reclaiming our love for him. I've learned to bow my head and say ok a lot lately, as bullets from the material energy fly my way. Tapping into spiritual vibrations means tapping into something bigger, beyond our control and surrender means to sit back and let the driver drive. Easier to write, talk about or think about; when the actual event occurs, theory must be forced into action. Thats the fun part. Sometimes you win, sometimes you fail, sometimes you're meant to just not do anything.


I meet people along the way on my trip and have interactions with them, then I leave hoping they were somehow impacted positively. Whatever my actions are, represent that greater whole- I'm an employee now, so to speak, using my facilities to connect others.


Like Arjuna, when Krsna asks him to just be an instrument in the fight and win glory, since all the warriors had already been put to death by Krsna's time factor. So thats what we are; instruments marching in a common band. Marching back to home.


just some thoughts for the day...

Questions that Exercise me (us)

Integration: The action of incorporating a racial or religious group into a community
                  The act of combining into an integral whole

I like the word. I hear it a lot lately. But then two doubts hover me as I envision the total picture, the finished puzzle: 1. Is it the right puzzle piece and right place its being put into?
           2. What exchanges occur; is the original piece still an original?

 To gain popularity or more acceptance from the larger society, sometimes the smaller entity has to integrate; open its doors to the public and allow them to participate in functions. This can be good, this can be, not good.
Good if the ones integrating are firmly established in knowledge and assimilation of their own culture. Good when one's faith and practice is not interrupted by the friction, or energies exchanged during integration. Good when there is the "serenity to accept" and be accepted, "courage to change" what should be changed to make the bigger picture shine better, and "wisdom to know" the difference.
Not good when the persons propagating integration aren't firmly situated in their own philosophy and practice, firm personal character that imbibes the knowledge, and have a motive of taking, rather than giving.

People know when they see something valuable; people want to be a part of something valuable; people want to learn something valuable. Personal culture involves personal exchanges- association is like a crystal and one begins to reflect the qualities and mentality (ies) of his association. Everyone wants to add to, or influence the growth of something. All good ideas and reasons if the newcomer is willing and able to learn the basics, the fundamental principles that hold up the culture.
I often ask myself what am I learning from people, and what am I giving/ teaching people. What things are essential to learn, and what can be done away with? What values do I uphold? What values am I accepting during integration? Is it OK to blend in with everyone else for the sake of acceptance; as in following their traditions although it has nothing to do with a bigger reality? For example: Thanksgiving and Halloween. Fun holidays, but what is their origin? What is the underlying reason for it? So is it OK to make vegan turkeys and celebrate a holiday based in so much killing of innocent people and animals? Especially if I follow a culture that propagates living a non violent life. Or dressing up as ghosts and goblins and other.. skip that. Especially again when I live in a culture that propagates living in the mode of goodness. Am I more elevated in consciousness after participation? Am I lacking cultural festivals to celebrate?

These are questions that exercise me as I try to live a wholesome lifestyle in a world where wholesome is practically non existent.Where culture and etiquette is lacking, where power is abused, elderly,women and children are exploited, and animals are killed for enjoyment.
What do I give? What do I take in? Am I walking my own walk truthfully? Is it quantity? Quality?
What is my vision for the future?

To All my Friends

Another year. Gone.
I sit and reflect on 2010 and realize that it was a year for growth. A year that began brightly; seeing new horizons, listening to supersoul's cautions and empowerings, learning to step into my own skin. Association of high level devotees was a highlight. I learned that to become a deeper devotee of Krsna would require utter dependence on Krsna and deeper faith in the process of Bhakti yoga. These lessons came with tests. Was I supposed to pass? Fail? What were the passing marks for each test? Temptations to revisit worlds I lived in; disgust with my own self progress- especially after being drawn by causeless mercy to dedicate myself to Krsna's cause; Krsna's agenda.
The sound of an inner voice, an external force saying "wouldn't it be nice if..."
But we walked on knowing one thing- mercy is whats keeping us even standing. Mercy from those we offended, mercy from the Parampara, mercy from Mahaprabhu's loving decision to get us all back to his lotus association. Temptations called. I answered, but the other end of the line was blank- no response. Hello?.... hello? Then after a few minutes I realized, "thanks for not answering."
But with every dark, light follows. Mercy continued to flow. Convictions that dedication to teaching, to becoming an example, dedication to march back to Krsna, convictions deepened as I stared the other allurements right in the face and saw no future in them.
New friends were made. Good friends were made. Friends were lost. I'll understand why next year perhaps.
Trying to be spiritual isn't always filled with rainbows. There are clouds as well; uncertainties that leaves one feeling vulnerable. Vulnerable is good.
Now there's another 365 to look forward to.
"I know not what the future holds
of marvel or surprise
assured alone that life or death
God's mercy underlies"
So 2010 was filled with one underlying thing- MERCY
Mercy is always there, but its certain moments of reflection that help you see that its all mercy.
On this road back home, its all mercy that pushes us along.
To those I've met anew, perhaps we'll each other get to know.
To those I lost, either through mishaps, or death, it hurts. In the bigger picture, you're still there. I see you.
Forgive me my offenses. Please.
And when tomorrow comes, Scream in, Breathe out!
Happy 2011.

And that was my impression

When we first meet people or visit places, especially for a long term stay, the first few days can be a bit rocky, sketchy, uncertain. But as far as I have experienced in my travels, its a hard thing leaving once you've spent time with people.
Newfoundland is perhaps the most amazing place I've visited in a very long time. The Island is far enough removed from the "big city" atmosphere, and therefore the people are still "people." They walk right up to you, make friends, invite you in for tea, drive you if you need to go somewhere, and share everything with you. At least this was my experience. I went to visit one friend, and ended leaving many.  As I associated with the open-mindedness of the residents of St. John's, I was relieved to know that somewhere in the western world there was still a place that reminded me of home. As a child I would watch my mother and other neighbors exchange gifts in the form of food, clothing, and other things; and so I thought the whole world did the same. It was not until I came to the place I now live (no name required, to be politically correct), that I first learned about racism, religious differences, etc.
Well the people of Newfoundland do not fit into this category. No. I was at home; making dinners for people I had just met, sending bowl fulls to the next door neighbors, etc. One neighbor, a retired High School teacher and his wife, a high school teacher were just so endearing. Neil (the husband) drove me around the city showing me places he frequented as a young man growing up in St. John's, the school his mother went to, the Basilica of St. John the Baptist, the Battery-a series of houses built on the side of a hill, Signal hill, and other nice places in St. Johns. Kathy had me speak to her class on Sacred writings in the Vedic culture, being a monk, and understanding divinity from different angles. The students were open to hearing, and also asked very intelligent questions.
One student who stole my heart was this young boy who, after I spoke, darted out behind us. When Kathy asked where he was going, he mentioned the bathroom. Neil and I left shortly after. That evening Kathy told me: "Kesava, you wouldn't believe what happened. Remember when I asked that boy where he was going? He went to his locker, but when he returned you had left. He came back with a handful of coins from his locker-- "where did he go?" He asked. They left, I said, and he became very sad. "I brought a donation for the monk." Well, he's not here, so put your donation in the box for the water fund drive. "No, I brought it for the monk, and I'll keep it until I see the monk again. I'm not giving another cent to that fun drive" "

Very touching. But this is Newfoundland. The people have a lot to teach, or reteach us about human relations.
On my flight back, I meditated on the prayers we say to our Spiritual Master everyday: Obeisances to you,who on Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati's order, are kindly teaching the message of Lord Caitanya to the western world, where the people are enamored with impersonalism and voidism. In other words, without personal relationship, we become lonely, and empty (impersonal and void).
Personal relationship can be cultivated when we give directly to one another instead of saying: " there's food on the table if anyone wants," or " yeah I got this, I don't need help." Personal relationships happen when we give up our fears that other living beings can harm us. No one can harm us. We are spiritual beings. I guess this will be the topic for my next blog...

One last thing. The Newfoundland adventure happened only due to the desire of one person, my friend Rikin, who lives there. So if one person can be used as a vessel to give Krsna, Imagine what we can all do if we decide to put sometime into giving Krsna to others. Put some time into being used as instruments for Krsna. Put our shopping list down for a second- " God, I want this, that and this, but how can I please you first?"
Rikin's endeavors ki Jay!